RAGIL (First Love)

Season 2 #5

Unfortunately I did that. And I hope what you do is not because you want to know, but because you care.

-ragile

Have you ever felt sick when someone you love is hurting? Maybe that could represent what Azka felt when she heard Ragil's story. Uninvited tears came in droves. Put a trace of love on the cheek without being asked. Azka, did not deny that she, deep inside, still loved the young man before her. But a status named marriage held him back from expressing more of what he felt.

Ragil turned his face away, not intending to look at the beautiful face that had been covered in tears before him. He did not know what was wrong with the story so Azka cried. He felt guilty, touched at the same time. Azka empathized with him. But is that what he needs right now?

"Ka, don't cry. This is my story. It's not Lo who ngalamin. Don't get too deep" Ragil's words made Azka wipe away her rough tears. Azka exposes herself to Ragil.

"Gil, you really did do it—"

"Yes Ka. Sorry"

My God, why did Ragil apologize to her? Azka did not think. Knowing the reality that was never wrapped up in his mind made him feel claustrophobic. There was a pain in his heart. He's heartbroken. Yes, He was heartbroken to know that Ragil, his first love, the man whom He always kept his image in his heart, had done so to another woman. Azka refused to believe it. He continues to reject his logic, which continues to say that Ragil bren.

Ragil must be in the trap

Ragil couldn't have done that

Ragil's a good guy

Ragil is not sebren**

Like a mantra he repeats that sentence in his head. Trying as calmly as possible to return to face Ragil sitting opposite him.

"sorry. I don't know why I feel that pain. But.." Azka swallowed her saliva which felt chelate. "You have separated seven years Gil. Even if he's 'filled' right now, it's not you. You can't accept that marriage, can you?" Azka tried to find a justification that she thought made sense.

"Yes, really. But what he brought wasn't that. Marsha just wants to ask for responsibility because He 'feel' harassed with Gue Ka" Ragil has lowered his head, taking a cigarette from his pocket. Azka's eyes are patterned, seeing the nicotine stem draped beautifully between Ragil's middle and index fingers.

"Gil" called Azka as the young man was about to fuse the fire at the end of the nicotine rod. Ragil turned, "When have you been smoking?"

"Ck, I need your peace. I'm stressed" He continues his activities. Making the tip of the nicotine trunk burn and smoke around his face.

"But with a cigarette, this problem did not finish Gil"

"Hmm, I know. Sorry" Again, Ragil again said an apology to Azka. It was as if Azka was the one who was most hurt by her behavior. And maybe he felt a little like that.

"You stopped smoking, huh?" pinta Azka is weak

"Emang wants to stop smoking. I think this even damaged my body"

"good. I'd like to give a kick"

"Hmm" Ragil cleared his throat, dropped his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it to turn off the coals. "Kalo Lo hasn't married yet I'm taking Lo Ka away"

"Eh?"

"Yes, I got married! Let me get married to Marsha" replied Ragil origin. He drank a drink in front of him. Azka. Is it wrong if he feels happy with Ragil's sentence? Deep in his heart He cheered, if He had not met Saga, then Azka would have agreed to the plan immediately. Crazy one! Why think that anyway. Azka knocked on her head to dispel the thought earlier.

"Why? You think about that, huh? I'm kidding Ka" Ragil chuckled.

Azka cleared her throat, neutralizing her heart and mind. "Not to be" Azka said late, because Ragil was already much more interested in her thoughts.

"When's the wedding?" Azka choked with her own question, "I mean, when are you going to marry Marsha?" Azka asked in a stern manner.

"Three more days. Mom's coming home tomorrow. I also. We'll marry there." Azka's already chaotic mind focused more on the word 'we' on Ragil's sentence. Hh, if only we would marry Gil.

"Temen-temen invited?" ask Azka

"No. I don't fuck anyone. I'm ashamed. Marriage in a gini case. Only the nuclear family will come Ka. My big family won't come either"

Azka nodded in understanding, he had not continued his sentence, Ragil had already taken over.

"Gue didn't expect my life to be this. I'm not willing to marry her"

"I also don't want you to get married but I'm not happy Gil"

Ragil smiled at Azka's words, "Gue's just a little bit of her wedding coke. I just wanted to get married and then it would be my business"

"Gue wants to divorce Ka" he continued, which made Azka surprised at once.

"What-What?" ask Azka quickly.

"Young? Duren dong?" Azka tried to melt the atmosphere.

"Yes, so Duda's cool I'm Ka. If I don't get married yet, you won't be the same as me?"

"Huh???"

Drrt

Drrt

Shaking Azka's phone interrupted their conversation. Azka saw her phone. The screen is on, with one name on the screen. Sagas. Azka's permission to pick up the phone from Saga and leave after getting approval from Ragil.

"Hello" he replied after he had slightly moved away from Ragil's place.

"Where is it?"

"I'm still in the hospital. Look at my mommy. Going home soon"

"Have you eaten?"

"Udah Ay"

"Yaudah, I just wanted to say I came home late. Eat malem first I'm afraid I'm a kemaleman"

"Oh yes Ay. Be careful" Phone connection disconnected. Azka returned to her place.

"Would you like to go home?" asked Ragil to turn his face away from the square object in his hand.

"Eh, emm—Iya. But I'll say goodbye to Mom first"

"Jude, let's go to the room"

The two of them went hand in hand, keeping quiet as they were confused about having to start a conversation. They are dissolved in his mind, whether about the sometimes unfair world. I don't know if they think about anything else.

"Ka, Sorry I have to tell everything to Lo" said Ragil stopped his steps in front of the nursery door Nuri.

"It's nothing Gil. I'm glad you can open up to me"

"Gue hope what Lo does not only because Lo wants to know, but because he cares" said Ragil staring at Azka clingy. Azka smiled, the edges of her lips drawn to form a curve on her face. Ragil smiled back. There was a warm feeling that enveloped him when He looked at the smile that He had once adored. Even if it was only for a short time because of a delay.

"I always cared about you. Even if you can, I want to always be there for you when you need" Azka seems to have been carried away, carried away by her feelings that appear peering from behind her heart.

"Kalo Lo can, I also want Ka" one sentence that makes Azka's heart warm. They also entered Nuri's ward because there was nothing else to convey.

"Mom, Azka wants to go home" said Ragil lirih near Nuri's ear. Nuri who was not yet asleep finally opened her eyes. Turn his head to the right side of the bed. Azka stood there, with a smile that was very soothing.

"Sorry so build Aunt, Azka wants to leave first" said Azka softly.

"Thank you Ka. Thanks for still wanting Ragil's menenin"

"Always Aunt, Azka said yes. Assalamu'alaikum"

"Mom, Ragil anter Azka first" Nuri nodded, letting go of Ragil and Azka.

---

Azka was in her place. He felt he could not stop there. He wants more than this. He was carried away by his mother's taste. Perhaps also because Azka still holds love in her heart. Azka admitted that, she has not completely recovered from her feelings. He is still strongly attached to his feelings for Ragil. To him, this would be finished after seeing the young man happy as well. Just as he was released to be happy with Saga. Azka swore, He would not if Ragil had to end up suffering because of his marriage. Azka wants Ragil to be happy, as a redemption of himself who cannot be by the young man's side forever. But will Saga be okay if Azka does all this?

"Gue hope what Lo does not only because Lo wants to know, but because he does care"

"I always cared about you. Even if you can, I want to always be there for you when you need to"

"So you can, I want you too"

The conversation kept spinning in his head. Yes, Ragil wants Azka to be with him to get through this problem, as much as Azka wants. In other words, they want each other.

My God, Azka felt guilty about all this.

Azka remembered something. He pulled out his phone, dialing a row of numbers that he recognized as Ocha contact numbers. The phone connection is connected, ringing many times until finally the greeting 'Halo' is heard across the connection.

"Damn you Cha! I swear, I can't stop!"