RAGIL (First Love)
TWENTY-THREE
I'm just not ready to be hurt, especially if the person who hurt me is you.
-azka
Since his encounter with Saga that day, Azka chose to dodge. Many times he had to turn around when he accidentally saw Saga somewhere. He also prefers to immediately return to his contract every time his session is completed. Azka chose to bring provisions so that he could spend time resting in Pak Ara's room or elsewhere. Azka also did not meet with Kara. Kara who has been declared a graduate chooses to go to Jakarta to complain about her fate. Now Azka was completely alone on the overseas land. Sometimes he calls his family at home. Or call Ocha to talk to her. When Azka told Ocha about the incident, Ocha could only apologize for telling Saga everything. He also said the reason. Azka understood, and indeed what Ocha did was right. Azka could not cover up all the reality that was on her, from Saga or from anyone who intended to approach her. They had to know, so there was no pain because they thought Azka was pretending. Or at least, they had another choice after knowing it. Endure or retreat slowly, because Azka himself never knew until when He would be like this.
At the end of the semester, Azka decides to return home. A tiring semester has passed. He is now on the bus heading to port, with headphones attached to both ears. The bus is quite full, because it currently coincides with the time of school holidays. Like de javu, he again heard the singing of a female singer who was performing the song Love First from the music player on the bus. Just like when he came home five months ago. He zoomed in on the volume of music on his phone, banishing sounds that were currently trying to cheer up passengers who looked tired with the night commute.
Azka glanced at the clock on her wrist. It's eleven o'clock almost midnight. It's been three hours, and maybe he'll be at the port in two hours. Azka chose a night trip so that she would arrive at her house by noon. Although He was tired, but in fact He was awake. His mind could not stop, not let him sleep killing the night. Finally Azka decided to open the application*****, the same application that He used to write so far. He read in a story that was almost similar to what he had experienced so far. Until he did not realize that the port had been seen in front of him. Azka hastily closed the app, put it in her jacket pocket, lowered the headphones to her neck and prepared to get off the bus with other passengers.
---
"Assalamu'alaikum" Azka knocked on her door three times
"Wa'alaikumsalam" A voice that Azka recognized as the voice of Mama from inside the house. A moment later the door in front of Azka opened with mama standing up to welcome her.
"Alhamdulillah Ade has arrived. How was his journey de? Smoothly?" tanya Mama takes over the bag that Azka was holding, herding her daughter into the house.
"Alhamdulillah Ma's. That's why we can get to this hour. Ade cape Ma" complained Azka who had laid herself on the sofa in the living room.
"Bring first, if it's clean good rest. Later Mama woke up after lunch" said Mama stroked Azka's head and left her to go to the kitchen. Azka who felt tired because during the trip she continued to be awake actually closed her eyes. He also fell asleep with clothes and a jacket that was still attached to his body.
.
.
"So, when would Ade want to meet the future daughter-in-law for Mama Papa?" Mama's words on the sidelines of lunch that time made Azka choke. The cough subsides when a glass of water is proffered by Mama who is directly gulped to the toilet. Azka wiped the remaining water on the side of her lips. Azka painstakingly answered the question, "Where is Ma?" tanya Azka still calmed herself down.
"So when do you want to recognize a candidate for mama papa?" Mama's birthday was slower, Papa still ate quietly, occasionally glancing towards Azka and Mama.
"Emm-it" Azka is confused what to say, considering she is not in a relationship with anyone.
"Ade already old enough to get married" said Papa finally joined the conversation with Mama and Azka.
"Yes Pa, doain aja, hopefully soon there will be a soul mate" said Azka to Papa and Mama.
"Nobody close anymore?" asked Mama full of curiosity
"No Ma" Azka said quickly, choosing to continue eating to hide her nervousness.
"The son of Robi, once asked de Azka. Still want to be the same, Son Romi?" tanya Papa makes Azka look up at Papa and Mama alternately. Azka frowned, trying to remember Romi Om Robi's son whom Papa meant. Ah, Ya Azka remembered it, a tall white man who was different one year from her. They used to be neighbors, but Om Robi's family moved to Tangerang because of work.
"Oh, yes ade inget"
Azka shrugged her shoulders, "Ade doesn't know Pa. Marriage is no joke. Ade tried to think first Pa" Azka continued eating, finishing it first before Papa and Mama moved on. Azka permission to go back to put the dirty dishes. Papa and Mama who were still sitting at the dining table just nodded. Before Azka entered the room, Papa said something to Azka.
"De, if no one comes to propose or express his desire to apply ade, Papa there is no reason to refuse if Om Robi proposes ade to Nak Romi" Azka had stopped for a moment, after sighing softly, he continued his steps towards the room.
"Other than this?" Azka covered her head with a pillow. He wanted to go to Goa so he wouldn't have to face this kind of situation. Then he remembered Ocha. He seems to have to meet the girl. Azka immediately prepared, then said goodbye to Mama and Papa to go to the clinic where Ocha works.
---
"Cha, I'm in front of the clinic. You're done practicing yet?" azka's voice on the phone made Ocha round her eyes perfectly. He almost choked on his food because he was too surprised to find news of Azka in front of his clinic.
"You're coming home Ka??? I still have one patient. Just wait in the waiting room. I'm done in twenty minutes" Ocha said immediately after the conversation with Azka. He swiftly completed his practice. More than five minutes later than He mentioned, He finally came out of the practice room. He went to the waiting room where he asked Azka to wait. The girl was sitting, still focusing on the phone in her right hand. Ocha approaching, ocha,
"Hey, when will you be here?" tanya Ocha took the place next to Azka.
"Hei Cha, are you healthy? I was there at noon eleven" Azka put her phone in her jacket pocket.
"New dong? In such a hurry to straight up my nyamperin? Kangen yaa" asked Ocha while nudging her best friend's arm.
"Hehehe, yes. I need a lot of stories with you"
"About Saga?" tanya Ocha got Azka's head
"Trus? Ragil again?" asked Ocha and he sighed softly, "You still want her to know what the paper means?" Azka was silent
"Ka, did I ever say, your decision to be honest with Ragil when he is alone again, will make you difficult. You said everything was done, but when Ragil came with just a little sentence you were weak again" Ocha nyerocos at length.
"Why would Ragil really want to get serious with me Cha?" Azka shuddered, as soon as a black cloud enveloped her feelings. He suddenly felt claustrophobic with his various questions about Ragil. What if he wants to have a serious relationship with Azka like Azka's dream all along? What if he actually wants to express his feelings but Ragil instead meets with Saga? Ah, just imagining it makes Azka's heart grimace. He never felt like seeing Ragil hurt, he always wanted to see him happy, even from any distance. On the other hand, he is afraid that if his feelings are answered, one day Ragil will hurt him. He is never ready to be hurt, especially if the person who hurt him is Ragil.
"So you don't want to stop waiting? You really are still under the influence of that feeling yes Ka" Ocha resigned
"Cha, what would you do if you were me?" asked Azka timidly, she saw that the clinic was almost empty. There were only a few people in a room. Soon they say goodbye to Ocha. Ocha and Azka were both there.
"You know I'm you, I'm gonna pick someone who's really serious about me. The one who still wants to keep me even though he knows I'm not perfect for him. I'll pick the guy who's ready to try to be my travel buddy when he knows all my flaws." Azka looked at Ocha, "I don't want you to waste any more time waiting for Ragil. People who until now you do not know how to feel" continued Ocha.
"Aren't you really able to open your heart to Saga Ka?" ask Ocha telak.
Azka just shook her head, she was confused. Before this He was already confident enough to begin to open his heart. But Saga's foolishness gave Ragil the paper he had left behind, making him close the whole door to his heart. Even nearly four months Azka did not allow herself to meet with Saga, even though the man sought her out and contacted her.
"Cha, there is actually another problem that I am facing" said Azka, Ocha waiting for Azka who was weighing the sentence that He would issue.
"Papa wants to match me with his friend's son, our neighbor first"
