Picking Up the Past

Not Want to Hurt

“ini what Mil?” arya asked as she stopped her work and picked up the paper that Mila had given her to read, she narrowed her eyes to read the letter and looked at Mila.

“warning letter?” ask him confusedly.

“iya Arya, many guardians are not comfortable if their children learn with me” Mila said in a soft tone.

Arya then read the warning letter again and tried to digest what happened there, she then looked towards Mila.

“emang you since when to wear a veil,?, why just get a warning letter now?” arya asked with a full glance at Mila

Mila's breath was blocked instantly, her face was brightened, and her lips paled, the feeling of fear re-entering her heart even deeper,

“ituuu, akuu,,” he said stirred, Mila momentarily swallowed her saliva and took a deep breath to give her courage to answer Arya's question. He then took the letter from Aryan's hand and placed it on the table, then he grasped Aryan's hand tightly.

“you promised to hold my hand tightly, right Arya?” asked Mila by trying to calm her chest that felt tight and her heart that was beating fast.

Arya then returned Mila's grip tightly and stared into Mila's bead, “and now I'm doing it” Arya said slowly.

“this radar,,,,,” said Mila who momentarily stopped, without her noticing a single drop of tears escaped from the bulking of her left eye.

“this veil I use to cancel our marriage first” said Mila with sobbing could not bear with her sad feelings of guilt. Arya momentarily took a breath in hearing all of that.

“sorry Arya, I came back to disappoint you, I used this just so you rejected me first, said bang Arnes you must have rejected me because of this veil, this veil, because at this time the veil problem is very close to the terrorist issue” explained Mila who tried to hold back her tears so as not to fall again.

Arya then got up and hugged Mila tightly to alleviate her grief, she could also understand that it took great courage for Mila to speak that honestly to her, “what more do you want to explain to me?” ask Arya slowly,

“the deal was also a request bang Arnes Arya, so that you immediately divorce me because you do not get your rights as my husband” said Mila spill all her grief by hugging her husband tightly, and Arya took another deep breath of hearing all that, her blood as if it was rising to the crown holding back her anger, she really felt wrathful hearing how cunning the man was to snatch Mila from her.

Arya momentarily rubbed the shoulder of Mila who was hugging her, ‘it looks like she is quite a heavy opponent for me to defend the inner Mila’ Arya.

“what's more Mil?” ask Arya again, “maaf Arya, all the living you give me never use, I never use, because I want to give it back to you after we divorce” explained Mila again who increasingly spill all her sadness in Arya's embrace.

“then I know Mil” replied Arya slowly.

“you mean?” mila asked slightly raised her head and looked at Arya's soft-looking eye bead looking at her.

“me every working day at this table, do you think I never open this desk drawer?” arya said by wiping the tears on his wife's cheek. Mila swallowed her saliva, her grimacing face held back her guilt.

“what are you mad at Arya?” ask her in a weak tone.

“time on the hill I once told you that if I had no right to judge your life before I knew you, I would not be angry for what you did, but I will be angry if you do it again after this” replied Arya who looked into his wife's eyes by gently stroking Mila's cheeks which continued to be wet from her guilty tears.

Mila raised her hand and gently stroked Arya's cheek, “why do you have a heart like this Arya?, why did God give you a heart like this?, why did God give you a heart like this?, I really sinned because I hurt my heart as softly as this” said Mila who still could not stop her tears.

“really, I also do not know Mil, it seems that now I am much calmer than before leaving for Sulawesi,” Arya replied with a smile on Mila.

Arya smiled at Mila, she was too tired to keep tying up such promises, “why do you keep repeating things like this Mil, Mil, I already said this this this morning to you” Arya said again.

“but I want to hear it again” Mila replied with still looking in Arya's eyes while smiling at Arya's attitude to him.

“I promise we will be together until heaven, now let's think about the little angel problem for your grandfather” said Arya with a faint smile on Mila.

“small angel for grandpa?” mila said in surprise.

“Mil, you unknowingly have aroused my passion now” replied arya innocently.

Mila swallows her saliva again, and realizing that her body is attached to Arya's body even though they don't hug each other anymore, Mila immediately moves away from Arya's body and turns her face away in embarrassment.

“you always say perverted things to me, but you accuse me of being a pervert to you, you also often say you want to touch me but until now you didn't do it” Mila said in a flat tone against her embarrassment saying it all, but he also wants to know why Arya did not touch him even though their relationship has improved and they have slept in bed.

“does that mean you want me to do it for you?” said Arya who again teased Mila.

“you did not answer my question, but instead continued to tease me like this” Mila said with annoyance and immediately headed to her bed.

Arya smiles at Mila's behavior, then turns off her laptop and finishes her unfinished work and soon catches up with Mila who is lying behind her on the bed.

“Mil, are you ready to do it for me?” arya asked quietly with attention to Mila's back. Mila momentarily swallowed her salivary, suddenly her heart was beating rapidly at Arya's question.

“Do you want it now?” asked Mila quietly while holding her chest that felt unreasonable.

“if you don't want to, I won't force you” Arya said slowly.

“why don't you want to force me?, can't a man hold back his desire” Mila replied as she turned and looked Arya in the eye full of probing.

“I have been used to holding it for a long time, you think I'm just tempted to see you” said Arya briefly.

“you mean, many other women who make you tempted to touch them”

“you know what women dress like out there, I used to keep them away from that sin, so I would rather heaven in the Hereafter than heaven in the world, Mil loh,” says Arya again.

“but you've really teased me since I saw you when I came home from that hike Mil, I really can't believe I can still hold this until now” Arya meaningfully continued to Mila.

“then why don't you do it if you have already been tempted by my body?” tanya Mila is still full of probes.

“I don't want to hurt your heart Mil, you definitely want to give it to your loved ones” replied Arya again who made something back piercing Mila's heart, for some reason the sin still gave him such guilt, ‘he withheld the right he should have from me just to keep my feelings, O Lord, I do not know what he really is like, I really don't know how wide her heart is Mila's inner’ with teary eyes staring at Arya.

“if you don't want to do it for me yet, I won't force you Mil” Arya said as she laid her back against Mila.