Picking Up the Past

I'm Just a Weak Man

“why did you bring me here Arya?” asked Mila quietly while still enjoying the cool breeze.

“I once lost, this is my place to calm down, I brought you here so you can be calmer and think clearly, I hope your mind can be clean from the words that the man said to you earlier”

Mila then opened her eyes, she lowered her hand and glanced towards Arya, “I'm just a weak woman Arya, she's a weak girl, brother Vanessa said that you forbade me from ever having another relationship with him because you were afraid that I would be deceived by his words,

and you're right, I'm so weak to deal with it, I don't know why I can always be fooled by her words” Mila said in her guilty tone

Mila recalled how obedient she was to Arnes, starting from the idea of Arnes telling her to wear a veil so that Arya refused their marriage, her marriage agreement with Arya also because told Arnes, Arnes, persuade Arnes so that they can meet and make out together behind Arya until Arnes' words last afternoon in front of her school.

Mila has really been blinded by her own feelings so to her Arnes is the truth itself.

“then I must how to fight him Mil?, so that you are not affected anymore by him”

“by staying by my side, never run away from me again, sooner or later, I can definitely forget her, what else she will marry someone else to inherit her father's company, and sooner or later, she will be married to someone else, I'm sure I'll really love you,"

"you've blocked all his contacts on my phone as well as my social media, the person who looks after me is always watching me, we just need to wait for time to prove the results of all our efforts this” Mila replied earnestly to Arya.

Arya took a deep breath hearing Mila's words, she then sat down on the grass and looked far away at the cityscape that seemed to be shrouded in the smog of vehicles.

Mila then immediately sat down on Arya's side, he put his head on Arya's shoulder and leaned her body on Arya's body, he felt like a couple of lovers who were dating Arya at that time.

“I have never fallen in love with any woman before this Mil, when we got married, I learned to love you and give my heart and feelings completely to you, Mil,

I have already believed that you are a good woman, seeing your veil I always felt you were a woman who kept your purity and the purity of your heart,

but I was wrong, I married you when your heart was no longer holy, you let your heart be touched by someone else, and it really broke me, Mil”.

Mila lifted her head and she looked towards Arya face. “Sorry Arya, I cannot be the woman you want to be,” Mila said in a sad tone.

‘bang Arnes was present when I was looking for my protective male figure, bang Irman and father could not be a brother and father figure for me, and grandfather also often went to the hospital,

at that moment he was present filling my empty heart, he loved me, protected me, and comforted me, and now it's so hard to let go of what he gave me first

it was even hard to believe all the bad accusations people made against him, because I knew him as a good man who was always there filling the emptiness of my heart and giving my life comfort.

Mila wants to explain it all to Arya so that Arya not only thinks he is wrong, but also understands why it is so difficult for her to take off Arnes.

“Mil, I cannot judge your past, your past is too long you pass by it, while I am only a new person present in your life, I don't know how much it hurts to marry me,

nor do I know how much you suffered living your days living with me because your heart always wanted it, all I know is myself Mil, Mil, I still do not accept that my wife's heart has been touched by others” said Arya firmly faced the situation, He was a little carried away by the atmosphere created by the state of Mila's heart.

“Arya I know you are a strong person, until our marriage can still survive to this point, I even envy you who still want to forgive me and accept me for all my mistakes, he said,

if it was any other man, they would have cursed me with obscenities, chided me as much as they pleased, or perhaps beaten me mercilessly, but you always apologized, she said,

and once again you give me a chance to stay by your side, I promised you I'd be the best wife to your husband as good as you are, I'll try my best to do that, and I'm sorry, if I can't be as perfect as you want” Mila said in her trembling tone to Arya and Arya smiled bitterly at it.

“you're wrong to think I'm a strong man Mil, I'm just a cowardly man, I'm just a weak man Mil, I don't even dare to be firm to you, a few times I tried, I tried,

I always failed, when that day I saw you with her and you confessed to love her, I could only shut up and endure my own heartache, I ran away from that reality, and went with Ari on a hike to calm my mind,

when that night after we met grandfather, here, in this place Mil, you could see how weak I was, I could only kneel down to accept all your actions that hurt my heart,

on the day that you lowered my pride in front of your best friend and my best friend, I could only be silent, crying out for my own fate, I didn't even have the courage to talk to you, I didn't even have the courage to,

all I did was run away from that reality, I went to Sulawesi for 3 weeks to get rid of all the pain in my heart, to get rid of the love in my heart,

I didn't even dare to return Indra to this life, I chose to bury him in the past, hiding behind Arya's name to save myself,

I could only hide behind my desk and avoid everyone who was after Indra, I was weak Mil, I didn't even have the strength and courage to face anyone,” clear Arya with length on Mila.

Mila's eyes shed tears hearing all that, her heart was sliced to hear how Arya was tormented by her treatment.

Mila looks into Arya's face, she can see Arya's teary eyes saying it all.

“sorry I have hurt you too much, but trust me Arya, I really want to fix everything” Mila said earnestly.

“you're funny Mil, we can't firmly choose me, but you ask me to believe you, it's true said many people, the woman is difficult to understand”

“Arya I just,,,”

“already Mil, I was tired of discussing this again” cut Arya in the sentence Mila, he immediately grabbed the nape of Mila and pulled Mila's head to his shoulder, and leaned against his body as Mila did earlier.

“the more we talk about it, will make this problem complicated, now that we just go through it all, we both step along with our respective hearts, he said,

let God decide what the end will be like, and I ask you, if in the end I have to leave your life, do not hold me back like yesterday, we both deserve to be happy with our lives, said Arya in a flat tone.

Mila closed her eyes hearing all that, she could feel the warmth of Arya's body stuck to her body.

'since the beginning we met you are my prince, and until now you are still my prince, and until then you will remain my prince, until we meet in eternity, you will still be my prince’ Inner Mila.