Owner of Heart #1

The extra part 2

...Yudha, POV 2

...

Bandung, November 2016

My house looks busy today, my mother prepared a dish to welcome the Widy family to talk about our wedding date. I had just changed clothes when Bi Aas knocked on the door of the room with an envelope in his hand.

“Den Yudha, this is no mail.”

I raised my eyebrows to receive a brown envelope, when my eyes were wide open when I read the name of the sender written at the bottom of “Keyza Maharani”. I closed the door of the room and with a racing heart opened the envelope.

While sitting on the bed and with my chest crossed I began to read the letter written very neatly.

Assalamualaikum, Mr. Lieutenant. (This may be the last time I call you that name).

I smiled with a burning feeling in my chest reading the name he used to pin on me when I was both.

I didn't know where to start when I decided to write this letter, but surely all the memories between us seemed to be spinning clearly when I started writing.

Thank you for making me feel loved so much to the envy of so many people, making me smile and laugh with your words that sometimes make me ashamed myself to hear it, hehehe.

I smile at all the dreadful seduction that somehow always flows from my mouth when I'm with him.

We are indeed rarely together considering the long distance relationship that we have to live so far, our togetherness is also only a corn but, somehow I feel like I have been with you all my life.

You made me fall in love at first sight even at that moment your body was covered in dried up mud, but it was as if my heart had recognized you back then as the true love of my life.

Loving, missing, and waiting for you has been a part of my life even when we were nobody. But I like it. I love the taste it brings when you look at me, love the warm bloodshed, the crazy heart beat the moment you hold me, liking the crazed feeling of longing makes my chest feel claustrophobic when we are far apart, liking the feeling that seems to push me running into your arms when we finally meet, and love the feeling of being protected and loved indefinitely by you…

I like everything! Even I love the way you look at me, the way you hold me and the way you kiss me as if I were the only woman in the world. Until I give up my whole heart to you, a heart that you should take good care of as I take care of your heart.

No need to tell me how sick my heart is when you let go of my arms and cut me off because there's another woman, no need to explain how broken my heart is when I see you engaged just a few months after our separation, and I don't need to explain how much my heart hurts when I hear you love other women than me.

I know, Za! Believe me I know, because I feel the same way. To hurt your heart is to hurt my own heart.

I was hoping that this would be like what happened with Leona, but it wasn't different this time, no more Lieutenant shouting my name in front of the crowd to guard my heart, no more the Lieutenant always looking for an excuse just to sit next to me, no more the Lieutenant who will scream calling me when there is another man approaching me, no more Lieutenant willing to cross the Sunda Strait just because I said I missed him, and no more did the Lieutenant tell the whole world that I was the only woman he loved and that I was the owner of his heart.. Where did my Lieutenant go?

I don't know, if you meet her tell her, right now I'm hurting and need her, tell her that right now I miss her so much that I cry, tell her that…

Recollecting our memories made me realize something, that all this time you never gave your heart completely to me. I lost to Bang Eddy who was your friend, and to Leona who you just met. And now I lost to the woman you just met just because she saved you.

I've never been in the highest place in your heart, I've even lost to the women you just met. You used to think more about saving Leona's good name than thinking about my feelings first, and now you're thinking more about how she is doing than knowing that I'm stupidly waiting, waiting and waiting for you with all the love and longing.

But now that I know how much you love the woman who has now become your fiancee, you must love her so much that you commit a great sin.

I frowned reading that, big sin? What great sin? With my heart racing I continued reading the letter. While outside the house bell rang the sign that the Widy family had arrived.

Is that why you got engaged so soon? Is that why your wedding day hastened? Of course I should have known after all that you were someone responsible, and you would have been responsible for your actions, but still it was like it wasn't the Lieutenant I knew, or maybe this is the real you?

When you announced your wedding date would be accelerated, I already knew that it would happen. But still I was shocked and wounded when I heard it, and at once calm because I knew you would not commit a great sin a second time.

My heart went crazy, making me take it even more seriously to read no matter what the knock on the door told me that the Widy family had come and asked me to come out.

When I first saw the USG photo, my heart rippled to see the black blob. Moved because I knew it was the flesh and blood of the man I loved, sad because it was not the fruit of his love for me.

I remember you told Mamah to give her a grandchild, and it made me dream of being the mother of our sons, but it was just a dream and now is the time to wake up from my dream and come back to reality…

Congratulations because you will finally become a father and give grandchildren to Papah and Mamah, they will definitely be very happy to hear this news.

Believe me you will be an amazing father, give support to Widy to make sure that you will always be beside him, make sure he never thinks to re-abort his womb. Because after all the baby is the fruit of your love.

At this time I may not be able to pray for your happiness, because my heart is not in good condition to pray for the happiness of others. But I will try to let you go and let you go completely.

That is why I will now restore your heart that I have cared for so well until this very moment, even though I know I am not the only owner of your heart.

About my heart.Let it be my business…

When you read this letter maybe I am not in Indonesia anymore, I will go with our memories to rearrange my heart.

Goodbye, Lieutenant, thank you for making me the owner of your heart.

My body trembled reading that, I don't know which news surprised me. Widy is pregnant or she has now left Indonesia. I accidentally squeezed the envelope lying on the bed, which was when I felt something inside.

With trembling hands I reached back into the envelope and found another paper in a smaller size. I guessed it was a USG photo with Widy's name and gestational age on it, seeing it make my blood instantly boil, anger gushed to the surface, I clenched my hands tightly before I finally came out of the room.

*****