Not Love But Married

Trust and Honesty

At exactly eight in the night, Arsha arrived home with a face that was still grimacing seriously. Without greeting mama Hanum who was sitting casually in the family room, immediately stepped her feet wide up the stairs leading to her room. Angrily threw his briefcase on an empty bed, then slammed himself into it. Disappointed because Rania still avoided it tonight.

His memory was back to spin with the debate this morning in this room. Feeling upset, disappointed and also angry with the words of Rania who are still pessimistic about their marriage, making him really in a very unstable condition of his emotions. Arsha snorted annoyedly, trying to think while her brain was filled with many problems that made her not in the mood today. Office business is still blunder with mega project in Bandung, Celine who still asked him to continue to come to his apartment even though he could finally refuse it on the grounds that there are still many jobs in the office, he said, coupled with Rania who now became very quiet and seemed to ignore it very much. Not to mention having to face the anger of mama Hanum who demanded her to immediately resolve the matter.

Arsha closed her eyes with a frown, her life was not okay at the moment. A huge worry hurts him if one day Rania will really give up on this situation. It was very anxious to make Rania could not reason anymore and said to leave her life. Arsha immediately opened her eyes to look at the sky of her room, there was only one way that could make Rania unable to leave, she had to quickly make Rania pregnant. Arsha quickly went to the bathroom, preparing herself for the important task of installing Rania in this house.

After finishing cleaning up, Arsha immediately stepped into Andra's room, then entered without knocking on the door and made two people on the bed immediately turned towards her.

" daddy...! ", exclaimed Andra pleased to welcome Arsha who was walking closer.

" Hello hotshot, have not slept at this hour?. ", asked while glancing at Rania who immediately threw away face pretending to be busy with lego on her lap.

" Aren't you nine yet, daddy's tomorrow at Andra's school?. ", asked Andra expectantly.

" So dong, daddy must have come on time to see Andra appear wearing an army uniform. So now Andra must sleep, so that tomorrow can look cool at school. Okay. ", persuade Arsha to convince.

" Okay daddy, Mother Andra wants to sleep now, play her lego tomorrow again. ", Andra immediately seized the lego held by Rania and quickly put it on the nightstand.

" Yes dear...Want to be in a fairy tale first what not?. ", Rania helped fix the bed and prepared to lie down next to Andra.

" No need, Andra wants to go to bed immediately. ", reject Andra while lying on the bed.

" Tonight Andra sleeps alone first yes, mother wants no important business with daddy. ", Rania immediately glanced at her husband as upset, "Mum, don't talk rich as that of Andra. ", the protest was direct, however the memory of a child of Andra's age will certainly be strong carried over until he grows up, he said, although at this time Andra clearly did not understand the meaning of Arsha's words.

" I mean, daddy wants to ask in the same pijitin mother, because the body of daddy there is a pegel now. ", ledek Arsha while glancing at Rania who looked at him sharply.

Rania immediately pinched Arsha's arm violently, "Auuwww. ", Arsha choked in pain.

" Mother, Andra sleeps alone, kasian daddy again sick must be in the same massage Mother. There mother slept with daddy aja. ", drive Andra who makes Arsha immediately smile win. Finally Rania relented, with a lazy step into the room which was greeted with a meaningful smile from her husband. Although a little reluctant, Rania sincerely serves her husband tonight. Receiving a gentle treatment that finally makes her dissolve in worldly pleasures that are only obtained from her own husband and can make her forget for a moment with the problems that are happening in their marriage. Arsha can really make Rania feel like a queen and be treated like something that is guarded very carefully. Both of them completely dissolved in the intoxicating soft game until the moans finally separated from the two at the end of the battle.

" Thank you Rania. ", said Arsha as she gently kissed Rania's forehead, then lay on her side hugging the innocent body of his wife who was still trying to regulate her breath. Arsha smiled happily, there is pride in itself can make Rania finally escape when she managed to cradle her in pleasure. Rania simply fell silent, then lay on her back to Arsha in utter embarrassment. Arsha chuckled softly, then pulled the blanket under her feet to cover Rania and herself in one blanket.

" It's still angry with me hhmm.?. ", whispered Arsha right in Rania's ear while tightening her arms.

Rania just shook her head slowly, "Why silence Rania?. ", Arsha gently caressed the flat stomach of Rania, in the heart of hope that soon grow the seeds of his future successor in his wife's stomach. " Are you late for your monthly guest Rania?. ". Rania shook her head without answering her husband's questions.

" I really hope you'll soon be pregnant with my son Rania, so that Andra will not be lonely anymore, right Ra?. ". Rania fell silent, her hands getting tighter holding the blanket covering her body.

" I'm sorry Rania if I let you down. But believe me, right now only you are always on my mind. Nothing is more important than you Rania. ", whispered Arsha again as if to understand with his wife's composure.

" Are you ready to hear my story now?. I really want you to know everything so you don't misunderstand me anymore. ".

Arsha took a deep breath, again tightened her embrace on Rania who still remained with her silence.

" I and Celine did have a relationship in the past, until finally we separated in a complicated situation that made both of us equally overshadowed by feelings of great guilt. For almost five years I had to struggle to forget the events that frightened me all my life, and in the end made me fall into a miserable state. I was lucky to have so many people around me patiently leading me back to being human again. And my luck got bigger once I met you six months ago. Unconsciously I was carried away in the peaceful atmosphere that I had been dreaming of for five years. I didn't think at all, why should you?. Why are you the only one who managed to disturb my unrest all this time?. But I firmly believe that you are indeed the right woman to treat my wounds in the past. ".

Arsha paused for a moment before continuing to speak, "My improved state turned out to be inversely proportional to the condition of Celine who still had to fight against her guilt. And I just know now, after that incident it turns out Celine had to go back and forth to undergo treatment because of severe depression, he continuously took sedatives and eventually became a drug addict to overcome his psychological disorder. That time incident made me realize, maybe I myself also contributed to Celine's current condition. He tried to hurt himself in front of me, and it made me feel guilty for making Celine that way. That's why I panicked and immediately took her to the hospital before something happened that made me regret later. While in the hospital, Celine tried to injure herself, rampage, rebel and destroy everything, and could only be soothed with high doses of sedatives. I always gave her an understanding of the fact that I already had a wife, but it made her even more uncontrollable until she had to be tied up because she continued to rebel. And it made me even more haunted by guilt, seeing Celine as broken and as pathetic as that. ".

Rania was stuck hearing Arsha's story, I don't know what Celine is going through right now, but as a woman she also felt so much sadness that she made Celine like that. Rania shuffled to face her husband who looked sad. His hand stretched out gently stroked Arsha's cheek which was now smiling looking at him.

" I'm more afraid of facing your anger Rania. ".

" Well, what's the situation now?. ", asked Rania.

" He finally accepted the fact that now I really can't be with him and I already have someone who makes me very happy. ", arsha kissed the lip of his wife.

Rania smiled happily, "Is she not angry anymore? ".

Arsha shook her head confidently, "He only asked for time to accept this reality, and he promised after being calm he would leave here soon. ".

" Are you?. ", asked Rania again.

" Yes dear... He is now a little more calm. So please be patient in a moment, he will definitely leave here. ".

" Did you still see her often?. ", asked Rania hesitantly, afraid to make her husband feel uncomfortable with her question. Actually, she just wanted to know if her husband would be honest with her if the woman was in the apartment of her own husband.

" I haven't seen him in two days, I'm trying to give him time to think clearly. Do you believe in me now, Rania?. ".

Rania inched to drown her head in Arsha's chest, "I believe mas, actually I was just waiting for Arsha to speak honestly to me at this time. ", actually there is still disappointment in Rania's heart at this time, Rania said, in fact Arsha still did not say that now Celine is in the apartment, that is what makes her trust a little reduced to her husband.

" Yes dear... Shrimp is angry... Do not be silent again like yesterday, and from now on trust more with your husband. ".

" I've never been angry with Arsha... Arsha is free to do anything out there without my permission. But I just want to tell Arsha, keep the boundaries of relationships with people who are not muhrimnya, that's aja mas. ".

Arsha hugged Rania tightly, "It must be Rania, I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. ".

Rania replies to Arsha's embrace, hoping that her husband this time is really honest with her and can keep her own honor out there.

*

The boisterous atmosphere typical of young Kindergarten children who are very enthusiastic waiting for their turn to perform at the art show with various kinds of funny behavior running up to their parents who are almost filled the school hall. Rania smiled happily looking at Andra who looked very handsome wearing the army uniform according to her dreams all along.

" Mother.". ", greet Andra so that in front of her mother.

" Waahhh... Very handsome mother's child ", said Rania with teary eyes.

" Daddy hasn't been to Mommy?"., asked Andra while looking for Arsha who has not been seen in the hall.

" Maybe still on the way. ", the look on Andra's face seemed a little disappointed to hear the answer of the mother, soon his turn appeared on the stage, but his daddy was not yet seen in the hall. He was so excited to know that Arsha would come to watch his show as a soldier.

" Daddy forgot Mommy?. Mother has called daddy, right?. ", said Andra restless.

" Dear, Mommy called daddy, Andra wait a little longer well, maybe daddy got jammed in the street. ", said Rania trying to calm Andra. It was almost eleven but her husband had not yet arrived at this school. She had already called her husband, and said she would soon be coming to Andra's school. Rania squeezed both hands because suddenly her heart became unsettled thinking of Arsha who had not yet arrived. She quickly sent out a message asking her husband's current position.

Until finally it was Andra's turn to go on stage, doing a musical drama themed war hero played so passionately by Andra. Rania smiled as she occasionally glanced at the screen of her cell phone that kept flashing because there were some incoming messages. Rania quickly shifted her HP screen hoping for a message to be received from her husband. But it turned out to be nil, it turns out there is only a picture message from Sarah on the screen of her phone. His forehead immediately wrinkled, curious about the photo that Sarah sent to him, this must be something related to Arsha.

Now the concentration of watching his son's show is so exhausted by curiosity, with doubt Rania immediately pressed the accept button and stared fixed at the photo. Instantly his heart was like being hit by a big iron hammer, it felt very painful when he saw the photo. Rania turned her gaze back to watch Andra's performance running on stage as if she was avoiding fire from the enemy, with a broken feeling. A smile expands on Rania's lips, staring at her son with tears that suddenly so casually fall. Trying hard to face the reality that is so painful, then convince himself of something that comes to his mind. It is time to make a big decision for his life and also for his children.