Not Love But Married

Maaf

Rania's hand held tightly to the edge of the sink where washing dishes, holding the vibration of her own hands which began to feel cold and stiff after hearing the words Arsha who still hugged her tightly behind her.

'Oh Allah, what should I do now..?', she realized this was her duty as a wife, but should it be this fast? He really wasn't ready to serve Arsha, and didn't think Arsha would ask him this soon. It even crossed his mind that this marriage is just a mere status, without any further relationship of the two and without any physical relationship like a real couple.

Rania closed her eyes tightly, as Arsha began to smell her open nape as her hair had been tucked up while cooking. Withstanding the tingling sensation mixed with strange gelenyar that spread throughout her body, Rania quickly turned her body to face Arsha. His body is still locked in both arms of Arsha who hugs him.

"Sir Arsha, can... be postponed first..?", said Rania hesitantly and very carefully.

"Why?", Arsha leaned over, brought her face closer to Rania's face, until her hot breath hit Rania's face which was now blushing red.

"That's sir, I forgot to bring something.. ".

Arsha looked at Rania confused by his wife's intentions, "You forgot what it was?"

"Anu sir, that's... "

"What is Rania??", asked Arsha who was impatiently waiting for Rania to speak.

"I forgot to take the pill, ", replied Rania in a very slow voice.

"Pil??.. What pill?", Arsha furrowed her brows, further puzzled by Rania's reply.

"I.that's.the contraceptive pill.", replied Rania stammeringly.

Arsha was speechless staring intently at Rania, trying to hold back the anger that had suddenly emerged from within her chest. "Contraceptive pill?? Why take the contraceptive pill?!".

Rania started to feel faint with Arsha's gaze that had been soft but now turned into full of anger. "Because, we've agreed to part for another year."

Arsha rudely took off her embrace on Rania, leaving Rania shocked and even more frightened.

"Certainly why?! Why take the contraceptive pill?!"

Rania lowered her head, increasingly afraid to look at Arsha's face that was already flushed with anger. "Because if I get pregnant later it's even harder to tell our parents why."

Arsha exhaled violently, gone was her passion tonight, replaced with a boiling rage after hearing Rania's words.

"So that's what you always think, Rania?!"

"I'm sorry sir, rather than a lot of hurt hearts, so we have to really think about it" Rania's voice started to sound raucous as if she was about to cry. She knew it was a great sin to have tried to defy her nature as a married Muslim woman.

Arsha clenched her hands together so tightly that both of her muscles hardened.

"Why are you pregnant?! Don't you want to carry my child?!".

Rania closed her eyes that had been in tears, 'Astaghfirullah... '.

"Mom.not like that sir... ", Rania looked down deeply, no longer daring to look Arsha in the eye in front of her. The tears began to fall down her cheeks.

"Alright, it looks like we should really talk to each other about this relationship."

Rania just nodded obediently at Arsha's advice, it was true that they had to talk about this sudden relationship so that there would be no more misunderstandings later.

*

" Now tell me what exactly do you want out of this relationship? I know this all happened suddenly. And I also know we both have no feelings for each other. I know you're not ready for all this. Now tell me what do you want for our relationship in the future?", Arsha looked at Rania who was sitting quietly in front of him, his head still lowered not daring to look at him.

" I'm sorry, because it's been completely out of my mind all along. Right now I just want to focus on Andra. I have not thought about marriage anymore. I am not ready for another wedding. ", Rania glanced at Arsha who was looking at her fixedly.

" And I still don't understand why Mr. Arsha accepted my father's request? Had Mr. Arsha dared to refuse at that time, surely none of this would have happened. "

Arsha fell silent, it is true that Rania said, if she refused the father's request surely none of this would happen. His life will take place as usual, so his relationship with Rania is still limited to Boss and secretary only. But he really wouldn't be willing if he had to distance himself from Andra. That was the toughest reason why he finally agreed to this marriage when you threatened him to stay away from Andra if he did not marry Rania.

" I don't understand at all why Mr Arsha can accept the father's decision?! ".

" Because.I want Andra." said Arsha quickly.

" What?!", Rania looked back at Arsha in disbelief.

" I love Andra so much, that's the real reason why I can't refuse you. "

Arsha looked into Rania's eyes as if they were still filled with big question marks for her.

" I also don't know why I love Andra so much. I'm so unwilling to be kept away from your son. Forgive me for dragging you into a position that must have been very difficult to accept. I know this might be weird for you, but that's the real reason."

Rania was silent as if she still did not understand Arsha's reasoning. " Why...? Why should Andra? ".

Arsha looked into Rania's eyes with a sad look, there was no way she would say that Andra was like her son's incarnation. More of his past stories will be revealed.

" That's the real reason, I don't want to be separated from Andra" he said.

*

Rania stared blankly at the sleeping lights that were still left lit next to her husband's apartment bedroom large bed. His drowsiness had completely disappeared because his mind was still busy thinking about Arsha's words earlier when in the family room. Knowing that it turns out her son is the reason Arsha accepted this marriage. He was completely inexhaustible with the way his Boss thought was, how could it be so fast to feel bound to his son? They met only a few times.

I don't know what to do after knowing the real reason, all is still unacceptable by his common sense. Really don't understand how else. Must be how to live the days ahead with her boss and her husband. Seeing her attitude that changed drastically after marriage made Rania's heart a little doubt will be able to live this marriage with a peaceful and calm heart. It seems that it will be even harder to face tomorrow, whether until when he will survive.

Rania let out a long sigh, stretching out her tired body facing the crystal lamp hanging sweetly in the middle of the bedroom sky. It was almost two in the morning but he was still unable to close his eyes. The cooling temperature that feels cooler adds to the silence of the bedroom that is the size of a volleyball court. Actually Rania was reluctant to sleep in Arsha's room, but finally she was forced to obey Arsha's orders after receiving threats to force Rania to hold her to the room and sleep with him if Rania still persisted in sleeping on the sofa.

Rania again sighed that felt heavy, now agitated to think of his boss who was now forced to sleep in the living room sofa. It must be very uncomfortable for a big boss like Arsha who used to sleep in a soft and expensive bed but now has to sleep on such a narrow sofa. Is not too selfish to let the owner of the house even sleep on the sofa, while he can freely sleep in his bed comfortably. What if he gets cold? There was absolutely no blanket or cloth to cover the man's body.

Rania gets out of bed, walking towards the walk in closet looking for a blanket over storage. Rather than constantly fidgeting at Arsha's unsettled heart, he decided to find a blanket and pillow for his boss.

The middle room lights are already dim, seen Arsha sleeping curled up facing the sofa backrest in the middle of the family room. Rania sighed softly, it turned out to be true her guess, Arsha must be cold to sleep in a room this wide. Slowly walking back and forth toward the sofa, his hands tightly hugged the pillow and the blanket he was holding onto.

Rania looked at the man who now seemed to be asleep on the sofa. His head was only clad in his right hand that was bent upwards, while his left hand was on the sidelines of his two knees curled up like a cold person. Slowly Rania spread the blanket over Arsha's body, then fix it until it covers her upper shoulders. Feelings of unease and guilt again attacked her saw Arsha who was forced to sleep on the couch because she was still not ready to share the bed with her own husband.

" I'm sorry", he said softly as if whispering to Arsha. With Rania slowly walking away from the living room to the room, she must prepare her physique and mind to face a more challenging tomorrow in her living room.

*