Not Love But Married

June 21, 2016

Rania sat pensively in her room, her mind went nowhere and her eyes were blank, as well as her soul as if it had gone from her body.

Today Andre is buried in his homeland, in Salatiga. After discussions with Andre's family, it was finally decided that Andre was buried in a cemetery close to the home of his parents.

Andre's body was buried at the house of the Father, according to the request of Rania who wanted Andre's body to return to his home first. Rania continued to be beside Andre's body which was buried in the guest room of the Father's house, while continuing to hold the blue box that had been given as a surprise when Andre returned home.

No matter what fate has happened, Andre had an accident while crossing the road after buying a favorite sponge Rania whose shop is located not far from the airport. A car with a high enough speed hit Andre's body to bounce some distance from the scene, and resulted in a severe head injury so that Andre's life was not helped.

When Andre's body will be sent to Salatiga, Rania forced to participate even though the condition of his body looks very weak. Rania wants to take Andre to his final resting place. Throughout the funeral process Rania tried hard and sincerely accept the reality that has happened to Andre, herself and her household. Now that all has happened, her husband Andre has gone back to the Creator.

Rania let out a long sigh, then looked at her room which felt very quiet and silent. The room that three weeks ago became a silent witness to the togetherness of Rania and Andre, although only given for one week to enjoy the beauty of married life. Well, just one week she really did the role of a wife. One week after the wedding Andre had to leave again to Kalimantan to resume his duties.

Rania bowed sadly, her tears flowed down her cheeks, 'Yes Alloh, forgive me if you are less devoted to your husband... '. Rania remembers very well when Andre managed to make himself a real wife. Andre could even hold back from touching Rania again as he saw his wife was still in pain after his.

The cry that had been held was shed at this very moment, regretting the time that was only a moment to be able to get the reward from her husband. It was never thought that the destiny that approached her was so different from her wishful thinking and expectations.

Today exactly one month ago was a happy day for Rania and Andre. June 26, 2016 was supposed to be the one-month anniversary of her second marriage. And Andre should be hugging him happily because he is going to be a father.

'Astaghfirullahalazim.', actually Rania did not want to blame the fate that had happened to her, repeatedly Rania beristighfar tried to eliminate her feelings of disappointment. Rania tried sincerely and patiently to accept the line that God had set on her.

The door opened slowly, the mother's face was seen from behind the door and walked into the room carrying food and drinks on the tray. Rania wiped her tears with the veil she was still wearing.

"Rania, you eat first, son. From noon you have not eaten, now you must eat first yes, Ra. ", persuade Mother with a soft voice. Rania shook her head weakly.

"You have to eat even a little, remember there's a baby in your stomach. Mother bribe yes, Ra", Mother still continues to try to persuade Rania to eat.

Rania was silent, her hands directly touched her flat stomach, her tears falling back and forth on her lap.

"Rania, you have to be strong, son... ", Mother cried as she hugged Rania tightly.

"Mothers... What should Rania do now?", asked Rania in a sobbing voice.

"You must be strong and sincere, Ra. You must remember that there is God's place in your stomach. Your son and Andre."

Rania immediately took off her mother's embrace, then rubbed her tears that had wet her cheeks. Yes, his mother was right, she should be able to keep the only most precious treasure, that Andre left him.

"Please help Rania take care of this kid, ma'am. Rania wants to give birth to Andre and take care of him until later growing up."

Mother nodded her head while smiling looking sadly at her son. "Mother will always be with you and this child, Ra.", I rubbed Rania's flat stomach.

Rania grabs the plate on the tray that Mom placed beside her bed, then eats it slowly. Just a few mouthfuls that entered the mouth, Rania had started to feel nauseous. His stomach was completely unable to accept the food that was forced into his mouth.

"Why, Ra?", asked Mom worried that Rania had started to pale to suppress nausea.

"Rania's nauseous again, ma'am."

Mom immediately grabbed the plate that Rania was still holding, then put it back on the tray. "If nausea stop eating first, Ra. Don't force it, it'll all come out. Now that you rest again, I'll bring snacks for snacks."

Rania nodded obediently, trying to hold back the nausea that was still attacking her. "Yes, Ma'am", said slowly.

Rania laid her limp body on her bed. His hand rubbed his stomach slowly which was still flat.

'Well, I must be strong for the sake of Andre and this child. Andre, I will take good care of our child, I will take care of him with my own hands and educate him to be a good person like Andre. Take it easy there, and me and our son will be fine."

Rania regained her tears, a smile rising from her lips. This is the most beautiful gift for Rania from her one-month-old wedding.

*

Rania is greeted with a look of pity and sadness by her office friends, not least Siska who is so close to Rania.

"Rania, why are you leaving? You should rest at home, your face is still pale Ra."

Rania smilingly looked at Siska, "Ngga papa, Sis. My leave is up, so I can't get permission anymore."

"And you can't let it go you're not feeling well, you're still pale, Ra."

Rania held Siska's hand still standing in front of her desk, "I really don't papa, I'm fine."

"Hmm, yeah if you want that. But remember, if you need anything, tell me! ", threaten Siska while tightly grasping Rania's hand.

Rania smilingly looked at Siska, "Yes Siska... " .

And sure enough, before the break time Rania again fainted in the mosque office when going to perform Dhuhur prayer. Rania was rushed to the nearest hospital for help because her body felt very cold.

"Rania."., call Siska when she sees Rania starting to blink her eyes.

"I why else, Sis?", asked Rania in a weak voice.

"You passed out again, Ra. Your body is so cold. Said you were dehydrated because of lack of fluids."

"Astaghfirullahalazim home... "

"You still have nausea vomiting when you eat? "

Rania answered Siska's question with a nod of her head.

Siska sighed softly, "You must be strong, Ra. You have to be healthy for your child. Andre will be happy there if you and your son are healthy."

Rania smiled and looked at Siska who was very sincere to her, "Thank you, Sis. I must be strong. Moreover, I have a good friend like you."

"Yes dong, I am your best friend, so you have to obey me."

Both of them smiled, trying to share their feelings to ease the sadness that was plaguing Rania.

***

Rania must be really extra protective in her pregnancy, complaints Hyperemesis Gravidarum during the first trimester makes her have to be extra careful in maintaining the health of herself and the baby she contains.

At the age of eight weeks pregnant, Rania experienced cramps in her stomach and after that came out fresh blood spots that made panic Father and Mother. Rania is again rushed to the hospital to ensure the safety of the fetus in Rania's stomach. The obstetrician who used to handle the pregnancy Rania gave orders, requiring Rania to bedrest for a total of one week for the safety of the fetus they contain. And should do regular checkups because the pregnancy includes pregnancy with a high risk. His weight was very difficult to rise because of the intake of food that is less for him and his baby. The estimated weight of the fetus is always below the normal value if calculated from the age of pregnancy.

Finally, when she was 28 weeks pregnant, Rania decided to resign from her job, based on the advice of her obstetrician who said the results of her last USG examination were problematic. Rania's uterine placenta has almost closed the birth canal, it will be at risk of bleeding at any time if Rania is not careful in maintaining her pregnancy.

Rania gave birth when she was 32 weeks pregnant, because she had a lot of bleeding so Rania had to undergo Caesarean section immediately at that time.

The baby boy was born safely, his weight was only 1.7 kg, so small and weak.

Rania's baby had to undergo intensive care for almost 3 weeks in the hospital, and Alhamdulillah all could pass, Rania could bring her baby home in a healthy and strong condition.

A very handsome little baby, similar to his late father Andre. Untold happiness could finally embrace the fruit of her love with her husband. Andra Pratama Putra, a name that will always remind the figure of the father who has gone before he was born into the world.