NEMESIS SWORN BUT MARRIED (JANDaku)

JANDAKU (44) Asks for Instructions From The Kholiq

The victim lives without love.

But more suffering life bears the burden of love.

My mother and father are also on strike. They only cleared their throat when I asked. Shrugging my shoulders as I spoke.

Could this be the impact of my behavior that does not heed his words? Hix... I'm sad, confused and tired actually.

But right now I can only wait and wait. Hope Alifah soon graduate college, graduation. Her father was healthy, and Arif finished High School as well.

At least if all three problems are resolved, I can be more courageous to take action.

No matter how hard Bryan and his family act, Alifah's future and life are resolved. I can take it by force from Bryan. (I guess I'm really mean? But I think it's comparable to the evil Bryan who played with Mirina's feelings as well as Alifah. Buy again his toxic words that are often thrown without being filtered!)

Hhh...

"Mom? Went where? Koqs... Do you have to bring that cardboard?"

"Father, I want to go back to the village! Free here too! It's just gatot khan!?"

"What the hell, Mom!? Koq said that! Don't do it, Mom!"

I feel so guilty.

Dad just sat with his hands busy tying cardboard used instant noodles containing luggage.

"Well! Ma!"

I crouch. Look at the two in turn. Begging with a pinched face and a groaning voice.

"Don't go home, will you?"

"Daddy's garden ain't no guard!" father said slowly.

I know, Dad was disappointed in my choice and ignored it when he wanted to introduce his friend's daughter in PP city who said he had just graduated from Aliyah State Madrasah there.

"Dad..."

"You're a big one! You have the right to choose the path you want. I believe you already know the risks and consequences. So, we're not going to mess with your happiness anymore, son!"

Honestly, my heart feels like it's going to fall out when Dad says that. It hurts bad in the heart. It feels like you are kicked out of a Family Card. Instantly I nyuksrug in Mom's lap and clasped Dad's fingers.

"Mom, Dad! Sorry Gatot! Pardon...! Hik..."

I'm honestly tired of everything I've done.

But I want to fight to the last drop of blood.

I want to be happy until the end of my life with people I love like them.

I admire the power of your love for Mom and Dad. That's why I insist I will be happy in time with Alifah.

Only Alifah, a woman, can make me feel like this.

I cried sobbing with my head bowed to my beloved mother's lap.

I regretted it so much, because it disappointed him both.

I don't want to be a bad boy. I don't want to be a pathetic human being because it hurts the feelings of both parents who are wrong in view.

I just want to understand, how heavy this heart is if you have to leave Alifah as Mother's father asked a few days ago.

"Dad...! Alifah needs Gatot! His father was very ill, and his mother also died. That's right, Alifah is engaged. Her engagement was her husband Mirina!"

"HUH?!?"

I finally told Alifah's story to Mom's Dad.

"So, is Alifah going to be Mirina's honeymoon? If they marry, Alifah becomes a young wife? So, Tot?"

I nodded lethargicly. Dad's fingers warmed up a little. But still his face was tense.

"But that's already Alifah's family's commitment. Moreover, the mandate of his late mother, khan?"

Dad looked at my net focus.

"Listen, Tot! I understand how you feel! Father understood. But your relationship is wrong. Your relationship is considered blatant and forbidden! Let Alifah solve the problem with her husband, Mirina! When you're done, you can be together. Even if you really love Alifah, just pray for his happiness. Let it be another matter, Allah is the All-Regulating."

"Well!... Gatot needs Mom's support! Gatot please! Kasian Alfah's. Kasian Papa is also Arif's sister!"

"They're living okay khan? Why should you be worried?" ask Mom after a long silence.

"Alifah also loves Gatot! Alifah asked Gatot to stay by his side, Mom!"

"Your love is not sincere love that comes from a holy heart!"

Uhh? Mammy? It's holy love, Mom! Love is dead! Hix...

"Sholat istikharah tonight, son! Ask for guidance from the Almighty. I'm sure you'll have enlightenment tomorrow! If you are a match, God will make things easier. Believe me!"

Mom's right! The only guidance is with God. All this time I've been busy with worldly affairs! But spiritual matters, even zero is empty. Hhh...! I haven't talked to God in a long time. My life is too busy thinking the same about romance, until I forget the greatness of His who bestows the love of Alifah so beautiful. Fix, tar malem I want tahajud continue istikharah. Ask for divine guidance. Not divine ajab, but!

............

My hape alarm rang at two in the morning.

I realized my unanimous intention to seek guidance from the Kholiq.

The night is cold. It's colder than last night. The atmosphere of the night also seemed much quieter. Makes my feathers bristle.

Immediately I put aside all the fearful thoughts that hamper.

I need enlightenment.

I need advice and guidance, which path I take to smooth the relationship between me and Alifah.

God is the best place to ask. There is no God but Allah. I firmly believe that.

Two rakaat tahajud intention and two rakaat sunnah istikharah make my mind now calmer.

Actually rada strange too, do worship sunnah but leave the obligatory. I'm not maghriban and Isha'an. But come home at nine o'clock from the barn for taking overtime.

Hadeuh! My life is not in order! Pray mcla-mencle. Sometimes I forget for days! The turn needs strength and hidden desire, immediately prostrate so that God will soon be granted. You evil human being Gatot Subroto!

I went back to sleep at three in the morning. My eyes are still very sleepy.

Just woke up because my calf hurt like it got something.

Snap!

A broomstick became the tool Mom used to wake me up.

"Gatooot!!! It's the clock!!!"

"Huh? Huh???"

"Mom, don't get a tereak! This is a Jakarta apartment not in our kebon in Pangkal Pinang!" reprimand Dad while sticking index finger in front of lips.

My mother held her mouth.

"Forgot, Dad!" whispered Mother shy heart.

Yassalam! Ck ck... It is really fatal for me! Hiks huaaa's... Aarrrggghhh! The dawn prayer also passed. Wake up at seven o'clock!

I'll be in the bathroom soon. Cowboy shower, go straight away.

"Well, Mom, Gatot's leaving. Assalamualaikum!" pamitku in a hurry but still had time to kiss the hands of Father and Mother.

Only Mother looked at me with an annoyed smile and a head bobble.

"Glamma!"

Hehehe...! Sorry, Dad, Mom! This is how your son is! Slebor, slenge'an, haphazard, also haphazard. But, it's a matter of heart, love and feelings. Your son's loyalty can be pitted against any man in the world! I can be proud, your son is only able to worship one woman. Like you can only look at Mom. Hehe... Peace, Father!

...❤BERCONNECT❤...