My Bow to the Destiny of Love

A discussion that produces change

Ardian looked at Chayra annoyed. "No, you know, I remember once. It is for the good of my physical condition. I could be sick for a long time like this, if this is not allowed."

"You mean?" Chayra glanced at Ardian and then looked down and continued writing.

"But told you to rule my life, right? You should know, I am a normal guy. I have an inner need that must be met, so that I can think stable. Do you know? The water below, if not removed will rise to the top. And it can trigger brain performance. A man who does not meet his inner needs will quickly get angry."

Chayra was silent. He could not accept the reason that Ardian had said.

Ardian exhaled violently. Walk slowly towards Chayra. "Let's be friends." He said suddenly, thrusting his hand in front of the girl. Hoping that Chayra would welcome her helping hand and shake her hand tightly.

Chayra looked up at Ardian. His eyes looked as if he was asking for an explanation.

"I mean we're making up from now on. Forget all the bad memories that have ever happened between us. Let's make peace with the situation. We learn to live in need and complement each other."

"I don't understand what you mean." Chayra replied without raising her head.

Ardian dropped his outstretched hand in front of the girl who was still bowing in front of him. "Yes.I mean I. does not mean I ask for the same mental ration. But, I mean, I want to support every activity I do. I will also support you. Just like two friends who always keep each other's good name and the feelings of his best friend."

"I..?" Chayra is busy writing. There was actually nothing important he was writing about. However, he only pretended to be busy so that the man did not bother him anymore.

"Mmm. as it is now. I need the calmness and warmth of a woman's body, so I can think clearly again. I need you to keep my mouth. No need to report my activities to Papi or Mami."

Chayra smiled cynically. Let go of the pen and stand while looking at Ardian sharply. "Nothing is mentioned in any book, if man can think clearly after doing something illegal. Man will think clearly by remembering his Creator. Allah SWT even mentions it in the holy book of the Qur'an."

"Gue is not familiar with that religious lifestyle. My life is like this. Enjoy it by doing what I want. Don't like to be organized."

"God created us for a purpose, Ardian." Chayra clenched her teeth. Long-time annoyed also with Ardian who is very difficult to be able to compromise."

"But we have a right to set the purpose of life, right? That's why I invite you to be friends, so I can work with you."

"Sorry, our minds are not in line. You want to be friends because you want to change. I will try to be a good friend to you. But otherwise, if you want to be friends with me because you want to take advantage of me. Again, sorry. I can't do that."

Ardian stared silently at the woman in front of him. A few months of living at home with Chayra made him slowly understand the nature and habits of the woman. Chayra is stubborn and hard to work with.

"So, what will I do now? I need that.."

Chayra smiled cynically. "Think by your self, okay.." He left his study table. Sleeping on the floor mattress he had named next to Ardian's king-size bed. Covering his entire body with a blanket without caring about that crazy man s**s.

Ardian sat down by his bedside. Ruffling her hair that has been shaved because lazy shave. He glanced at Chayra. "Let me do that to you then."

Chayra gasped at Ardian's words. Taking a deep breath tried to neutralize his cloudy mind. "Do it, if you feel you deserve to do that to me." Chayra answered from under the blanket. His voice is a little shaky.

"You mean?"

"Do you know your obligations before and after doing that?"

"What obligation?

Chayra grunts. "You can think about that. Use your brain. Don't ask me again because I want to rest. Good night, assalamualaikum.."

"If people say assalamualaikum, what should we answer with? shame on me for so long. Every time Mom calls me, I never answer her greetings. I am not proud to answer it. But I don't know what to answer that with."

Chayra exhaled violently. It turned out that his mother had been contacting the man without his knowledge.

"Is that stupid of you when it comes to religion?" Ask again. Completely confused with Ardian who is like a religious blind.

"Gue explained it from the beginning. Don't be surprised by all my stupidity. If you ask anything, if it is about religion. Like you said, sorry, we're not in line."

"Then why do you invite me to be friends, if you don't intend to live in line with me?"

"Gue just wants to make peace with the situation."

"We can't keep pace if you keep going like this. I don't want to live like this with you forever."

"What do you want now?"

"Lho wants to break up with me, that's what you mean?"

"Hopefully I can survive."

Ardian exhaled violently. Back ruffling her hair. "For what I'm changing now. I've been too lost. Reconciliation is not necessarily accepted either. The good angel has shied away from my life."

Chayra got up, scooping the blanket that covered her body. "It is never too late before life reaches the esophagus. If indeed you have the intention to change, let's guide each other."

"Gue is confused."

"What do you really want?"

"Gue needs calm."

"You'll get that calm, if you really intend to change."

Ardian. Putting his body on the bed. His head was twitching because of dizziness. "Gue can't if you don't drink."

"Drink water. There's plenty of water."

Ardian clucking. "I never felt the way I felt. I am not used to living by rules. I am used to living independently. There are no rules in my life."

"If you want to change, you have to be prepared for the rules."

Ardian took a deep breath. "OK.." Ardian got up, sat down cross-legged facing Chayra. "Then teach me to pray. I'll try to change. Like I said, all I can do before life gets to the esophagus."

Chayra gawked for a split second. His smile suddenly expanded after coming to a realization. "God willing, I am ready to be your friend if that is to happen.

********

Ardian was sitting weakly behind the wheel. He's really upset tonight. Making a deal with Chayra to change makes him have to forget his habits.

"Let's get off. Why are you still sitting there?"

Tonight, Chayra asks Ardian to drive her to the supermarket to buy a snack or whatever it is that will distract the man from the booze.

"Gue feels weird tonight."

"You feel strange because you'll forget your old habits."

"Should I be like that?"

"You said you'd get a legacy from Papi if you'd grown up. Is squandering parents' money for things that are not important, you can already be said to be mature?"

"Yes, yes, yes. But, I also want to ask for something the same."

"What's that?"

"No, you can talk mediocrely with me. Don't use formal language. Put on my word you make me uncomfortable talking to you."

Chayra smiled faintly. "Sorry, I'm not that close to you. I'll try slowly. But, don't demand me to change automatically. Seeing you I can still behave normally already thank you very much."

"You mean?"

"You think I'm okay when dealing with you? I'm not that easy to interact with people who have created wounds on me. This heart hurts when you see you can laugh after sowing wounds that will not be able to disappear, maybe even until the end of my life.

Ardian. He wiped his face while taking a deep breath.

"My body must be shaking when I see you. Grateful, I could speak normally and not lose control. That's why I avoid you more. I'm afraid, that old wound will make me like crazy again."

Ardian breathed a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry." That's the only word that came out of his mouth. Not knowing how deep the suffering the woman had experienced after she had desecrated her at that time.

*******