Mahabbah Love Khalisa

93

White clouds clumped under there with a faint view of the mountain below. What mountain is that? mount Merapi? Azfan shook his head to answer questions himself that he did not know what mountain had just been passed by the plane carrying 120 passengers including himself.

Suddenly Azfan smiled at the mountain, if indeed Mount Merapi it means he is almost there. It was not the mountain scenery that made him happy but the shadow of Khalisa's smile made Azfan impatient to get home.

Come on, it's only been two days for Azfan to leave Khalisa but it's the longest two days of his life. Azfan can not sleep well even though the hotel mattress is so soft with cold AC or good food. The event organizers really treated Azfan well. But all that does not make Azfan feel at home longer in Malang without Khalisa.

"Momens and Gentlemen, as we begin to land, please make sure the backs of your chairs and tables are in an upright position. And make sure your seat belt is well connected and all luggage is stored under the seat in front of you, or in top storage. Thank you." Thank you."

The notice by the flight attendant that Azfan was waiting for finally sounded. After a while the plane landed smoothly, the passengers picked up their belongings and disembarked one by one in an orderly manner.

Azfan's heart thumped at Khalisa from a distance, he was like a new person in love when they had lived together for a long time. Azfan's steps faster and even felt he half ran towards Khalisa who was waiting for him with a very beautiful white robe on his body.

"Assalamualaik." Azfan reached out with a hand that Khalisa immediately greeted.

"Mosur." Khalisa kissed Azfan's old hand, Azfan also kissed his hand and then his forehead. "Where is the journey?" Khalisa hugged Azfan, he missed the scent of Azfan even last night he slept by hugging the jacket that Azfan used to wear. Although not the same but at least it can help Khalisa sleep better.

"It's a long time because there's no Haura."

Khalisa blushed off the hug, usually they always travel together.

"I brought a lot of souvenirs, may Haura like." Azfan slightly lifted the cloth bag in his left hand which contained a typical Malang snack for Khalisa and Huma because it had accompanied Khalisa all this time away.

"Definitely like, the apple chips are lame never fail."

"Haura knows these apple chips?" Azfan raised his eyebrows because Khalisa knew before he showed the contents of the bag.

"Know dong, what else do people bring from Malang besides this?" Khalisa smiled broadly taking over the bag in Azfan's hand.

"The committee is also giving you handicrafts." They stepped out of the airport to the parking lot, Azfan could not wait to show a ceramic mug with the inscription of his name and Khalisa the committee's grant. Being a priest there was one of Azfan's most rewarding experiences, he wanted to go there again with Khalisa.

"They're very nice."

"That's why I don't want to receive a reward dear, it's an honor for me and it would be inappropriate for me to receive a reward."

"They love much more than what they love." Khalisa took Azfan's hand, he supported Azfan's actions.

"True Haura."

Azfan is sitting in the steering wheel, because Khalisa has driven from home here then Azfan will replace Khalisa towards home. Although Khalisa willingly drove, Azfan still could not sit quietly in the passenger seat.

"The weather is bright, I can see the mountain from the plane." Azfan started running the car.

"Don't you see smoke?"

Azfan shook his head in doubt, he did not know because the mountain was covered in white clouds.

"Say the activity of Mount Merapi increased the last 12 hours, hopefully not seriously yes Mas."

"Oh yeah?" Azfan does not read the news because his activities in Malang are quite solid. "BMKG is up?"

"Ng .. no, they say people should not panic."

"May all be well."

Khalisa opened the green cloth bag that Azfan was carrying earlier, he asked permission to see the contents of the bag. Khalisa could not wait to taste the food immediately.

"Yesterday Naira take two calligraphy verse same chair Al-Fatihah whose basic color is black and keeps the writing color gold, it's very beautiful Mas." Khalisa pulled out a pretty heavy box.

"When I asked Haura's advice, it was so that calligraphy fit so beautiful." Azfan turned to Khalisa for a moment. "That must be the mug."

"Can I open?"

"May you love." Without asking permission, Azfan will always allow Khalisa to do so.

Khalisa took the mug out of his box, "wow beautiful." His eyes twinkled at the emerald-colored mugs, "they know my name?" Khalisa doesn't believe his name is engraved on the mug.

Azfan smiled widely, why is Khalisa so surprised if others know his name.

"Before I know my name, they must have known Haura's name first." Azfan said because the surname of Daniel Alindra is no stranger to the ears of the community including children and relatives.

"Aah!" Khalisa squealed along with the sound of falling and breaking objects. Azfan spontaneously stepped on the brakes to see Khalisa who dropped one of the mugs. "Sorry, I didn't mean it."

"Nothing, be careful not to hold it sharp lo." Azfan sidelined the car, "just let it go."

Khalisa saw the mug below him that had been shapelessly split into pieces. It was a mug that had engraved the name Khalisa on its surface.

"I didn't mean it." Khalisa's eyes glazed over, he regretted opening the mug here. He should be more patient until he gets home. If Khalisa wanted to be a little patient, it would not have happened. Although buying it again certainly will not be the same effect because the mug is a gift from the committee.

"I know baby, I'll clean up until the house yes, Haura's feet go up first afraid of getting her mug shards."

Khalisa raised his legs and sat down cross-legged, "Mas it okay?"

"It's okay Haura didn't accidentally, there's still one more Haura can wear."

Khalisa bent his lower lip looking down at the fragment of the mug. Azfan returned to running the car at moderate speed on a fairly quiet road.

"Don't you be sad, does Haura want me to add another shard?"

Khalisa saw Azfan then shook his head slowly, where maybe he asked Azfan to do that. They had many gift mugs from Khalisa's friends but still Khalisa felt very guilty.

"Thank you for not being angry." Khalisa held out a hand rubbing Azfan's thigh.

"Honey, I can't be angry about something like this."

Arriving at Khalisa's house, Azfan immediately entered and rested while he cleaned up the mug shards in the car. Khalisa also told Azfan not to go into the room first because Huma was still sleeping there.

The mug material is quite thick, it should not break when it hits the bottom of the car that is not as hard as the ceramic floor.

"Not yet sustenance." Khalisa murmured while sweeping the shards with a garbage can. "Your colors are so pretty." Khalisa tied up the plastic bag lining the trash bin and put it in another, larger bin in front of the fence.

"Udah?" Azfan came out after changing into a house shirt.

"Udah Mas."

"It's okay, there's one more." Azfan rubbed Khalisa's head. "Next time Haura had to be careful to be afraid of the shards hitting the skin."

"But that's Mas Azfan's."

"Haura is wearable, mine belongs to Haura as well." Azfan invites Khalisa back into the house to open other souvenirs and divert Khalisa's mind from the mug.

"Let me flinch." Khalisa massages Azfan's shoulder.

"I was checking on YouTube the event isra' mi'raj in Masjid Jami' Agung Malang does not exist, I want to see Mas Azfan."

"Haura can see directly unnecessarily from the video." Azfan Sahut.

"Yes, but I still want to see that there is usually if Mas became a prayer priest, I'm behind so I don't know what Mas's expression is."

Azfan grabbed his phone and opened the email, knowing the committee sent the video to email. "they sent the video anyway."

"You see." Khalisa put his chin on Azfan's shoulder.

Azfan played a video of himself as the imam of the magrib prayer at the Great Jami' Mosque. There were about 10 thousand worshippers present last night.

"God, my husband is very handsome." Khalisa sparkled to see Azfan's face on the phone screen.

"Haura just woke up?" Canda Azfan, fortunately Khalisa was behind him so that his reddened face would not be discovered.

Khalisa held a smile, he himself did not know when to realize that Azfan was a handsome man. Azfan is always wrapped in simple clothes but that does not make him lose his charm. Honestly, Khalisa always wanted to have Azfan and now it has been realized. Khalisa again wondered to himself, whether he was willing to share his love with other women. Of course Khalisa is not willing but is there any other way that he has offspring in that family. There are many ways. But Khalisa has decided one thing. It's like a way out that would hurt Khalisa himself.

Huma came out of Khalisa's room to hear the familiar voice of the holy Quran in his ears. Without even seeing the video played on the phone, Huma knew it was Azfan's voice.

"Wah Ar-Rahman you are so sweet." Praise Huma heard Azfan's voice reciting Ar-Rahman's letter, "what is prayer?"

Khalisa thrust a pack of jackfruit chips at Huma who sat down to join them on the sofa.

"Sholat isya'." Answer Azfan.

"So embarrassed because I almost every prayer he recited

qul huwallahu.

"

"Why embarrassed?" Azfan and Khalisa asked simultaneously making Huma flinch, his hand that was about to take out a piece of dried jackfruit came to a halt in the air.

"Because—short." Answer Huma. "Then be with God."

"You think that Allah will fail you because read the short letters, if so then you are wrong, the letter of Al-Ikhlas is full of praise to Allah, all the verses in the Qur'an are the word of Allah as well as the form of the love of Allah, why should it be ashamed?"

Huma gawked a while ago grinning, it meant he could be proud of his heart despite always reading the shortest letters in the Amma juice.

******

The smell of the ground pouring down with heavy rain gushed through the walls. All morning until noon the sun shines brightly, before night the rain begins to pour. The weather is increasingly unpredictable as is the heart of a woman who is completely unpredictable. People say women's hearts are most difficult to dive even by professional divers.

Khalisa was furious to say something to Azfan after the magrib prayer and the recitation of several pages of the Qur'an. The words he had already strung together in such a way were stuck in his throat. Khalisa is not a person who easily hesitates but this is a serious matter.

"Mas." Call Khalisa to Azfan who is changing his cocoa shirt with a t-shirt.

"Why baby?" Azfan hung his shirt behind the door because he would wear it again tomorrow.

"Mas." Khalisa called once not because he did not hear Azfan's answer, but he wanted to convince himself before actually saying it.

"What's the matter, I see after Huma leaves Haura agitated, Haura wants Huma to stay here again?" Azfan sat next to Khalisa, "want to lose my face?"

Khalisa shook his head, "Why did I talk about the movie?"

Azfan nodded.

"It's been a year and we haven't been able to have any offspring and the cause is in me, although the doctor said it was not impossible for me to get pregnant and I always believed that God must love us the way." Khalisa's voice faltered a little, he just wanted to faint so as not to need to continue this sentence. But Khalisa made a choice, he had to. "Then I met Naira—Mas, she agreed to marry you."

Azfan stunned—danya like a blunt object hit many times—sak but did not bleed but it was able to clog the flow of his breath. What did Khalisa say? why is Khalisa raving like this. So it's true Azfan's guess, Khalisa had mentioned about the film because he wanted to do this. Then if Naira agrees whether Khalisa need not ask Azfan's opinion first.

"What does Haura mean?" Azfan did not not understand the sentence to the point Khalisa, he wanted Khalisa to say it once again maybe now Khalisa in a state of semi-conscious when saying it.

"I'm sincere if Mas Azfan gets married let alone that woman Naira, she's very nice and beautiful." Khalisa said that tremblingly, he tried as hard as he could but his eyes could not be lied to.

Azfan's black bead dimmed, his hand that had touched Khalisa's thigh slowly slumped. Once Khalisa asked him to marry again, whether this marriage is only limited to offspring and the rest is no more meaning for Khalisa. Whether Khalisa can also arbitrarily determine Azfan's destiny.

"You're so selfish, Khalisa." Azfan.

The short sentence sounded so cold that the frozen Khalisa was glued to its place. Khalisa closed his eyes and swallowed the saliva with great difficulty. Be ill. But what can be done, is not happiness is not obtained in an easy way.

"Mas." Khalisa followed Azfan out of the room.

"When did you think of all this?" Azfan turned to look at Khalisa sharply. "You said Naira agreed? do I care? and you don't care how I feel?" Azfan tried not to raise his voice, "what in your eyes is only a child, why not ask my opinion first, I'm what do you think?"

"Mas, I know you want kids too." Khalisa held Azfan's arm.

"I want to but not marry another woman, Khalisa, if you can never get pregnant, until whenever I will not marry another woman!" This time Azfan could not control his emotions, he brushed off Khalisa's hand violently.

"You underestimated my feelings, Khalisa."

The sentence was like a sword that drew right into Khalisa's heart. So hurt. Feelings of regret seeped into Khalisa's heart. He has been rash.

"I've always considered this marriage sacred, our relationship will never falter because it strengthens each other but it turns out you consider everything superficial, maybe because you're used to getting what you want from childhood so you're doing it without thinking about how I feel."

"I know you crave children so much, we will try but not by bringing others among us."

Khalisa slumped to the floor with Azfan's hand.

"Now I ask, if I had the problem and not you, would you have remarried and left me?"

Khalisa looked up until Azfan could see Khalisa's face wet with tears. Azfan was so devastated to see Khalisa cry but his feelings had been destroyed by the woman he loved the most.

Azfan lifted his foot past Khalisa's body, he opened the door until the sound of rain that had been soft now was heard.

"Where is Azfan going?" Khalisa rose to pursue Azfan who had been on the porch of the house.

"Think again, how little do you love me until you have this kind of heart, is it perhaps smaller than mustard seeds?" Azfan said with a piercing pain in his heart. Azfan's heart is more crumbling than the emerald-colored mug that Khalisa dropped earlier.

"In addition to breaking the mug, you're also an expert at solving my feelings of Khalisa." Azfan half ran out of the house, he did not care about the voice of Khalisa who kept calling him.

Khalisa took an umbrella running after Azfan who was already far ahead there. The rain that fell once the terrace made Khalisa's visibility limited. Where's Azfan? why did Azfan disappear so quickly?