Loving Or Loved?

Bang Gas Or Bang Bag?

The POV

I will tell you a little bit about me, my name is Fanindira Atmadja I am 22 years old and I am the youngest of two children. I have an older brother who now lives in Bandung with his small family. As a child, I have lived with the affection and financial adequacy of both my parents and my brother.

Being born into a family is not always beneficial to me, because often I am looked at one eye by my friends who always think what I get is the result of the power of my parents, though it was a big mistake because all this time I always did anything with my own mind and hard work.

If the teenage Fani always think about what people say and try to please everyone who is known, different from the current Fani. Yes, since I turned 18 years old I slowly changed my outlook and mindset to be more mature in attitude. If it is said to be spoiled, actually I am not too spoiled both on my parents and on my brother, only certain moments I was spoiled, such as when I fell ill for example. I am also not the youngest child who is close and always tell me about my problems with both my parents or brother, all if I can do it myself I will try to solve it without the interference of others.

I realized that I could not always please everyone or accept all the wishes of those around me, nor could I lead them to like me. Because maybe some of them don't know me very well.

As I have often pondered in recent years, some people may know me to be quiet, stubborn and arrogant, but to some others I am known to be a chatty who cannot be silent, then some others have me with a soft motherly figure, and are comfortable telling me stories with me that I don't even hesitate to lean on my shoulders when I'm sad.

There are also those who say if I'm not playing, but there are also those who say if I am very caring and caring for others, there are also those who feel it is not important to greet me when passing me on the road for example, but not a few of them without hesitation embrace me if accidentally met.

I realized that some people I knew had their own interpretations of me, and then chose to leave, but not a few who just heard me from others or social media, but already felt very familiar. And the rest stayed behind despite often feeling disappointed by all my shortcomings, still accompanying my steps no matter how annoying I was in front of them.

The last few years I've been through all this, every treatment I've received from those around me I've always looked into, not less work but I just want to learn from the forms of treatment and interpretation of them about me so that in the future I am not wrong in treating the people around me.

Especially when I met the figure of an older sister who somehow just met him for the first time I felt he was in line with my thoughts and it would be very nice if I could tell anything with him. From the story of his life that I know a little bit from the stories of those around him, I can draw conclusions that are relevant also to what I have been contemplating these past few years.

This very complex life, makes others have forms of judgment about ourselves, both and

bad is definitely on their minds. For now I can say that I don't care about all that, it's up to them to think about me, this is my life and I live it as the main character of my life. If I as a teenager choose to defend or show if what they say is a mistake, then I will now choose to be silent without having to defend or show anything, want to be hated or loved, both are two things that we will certainly feel, do not be too influenced.

Human judgment is not everything, it is enough that God's judgment affects our present and future steps. Trying to get better every day is not to surpass others, but to surpass ourselves in the days gone by, it is an attempt to divert us from the forms of judgment of others towards us.

“Fan, let's go down she wants to buy cake.” Reprimanded Mama while patting my shoulder, waking me from the daydream and

my thoughts since the trip.

“Ah, yes Ma bentar I want while phone Dafa who knows he wants to buyin cake.” I answered while reaching for my mobile phone and getting out of the car with Papa and Mama.

The voice of the phone connection across there I heard, but never lifted. While continuing my steps towards Madam Qiana's pastry shop, I contacted her for the third time.

“Alhamdulillah appointed as well, Assalamu’alaikum Mbak..” my sap.

“Gosh why the hell should Brother pick up his phone? My people call my sister-in-law, where is Ma'am Qiananya or Dafa I want to talk to them just do not want to be with Brother,” I said ketus, I said, still shebeeelll yesterday abis in usilin Abang who told Bang Bagas that I was angry with Bang Bagas because I did not come to my side or to eat with Mama and Papa, I am not angry with Bang Bagas. And because the complaint came back after overtime from Bang Bagas' office to come home with gifts, with his tired face and work stelan made me grieve the complaint. What a pity my casuku.(my future husband hehehe).

“Hahahaha, still craving you? Though you got a surprise from your BangGas last night?” bang Akbar's temptation is becoming more and more, put my mind is not the senengnya aja Bang Bagas suddenly come, but pity to see him must go home at night while his body already needs a mattress to rest.

“Ih, what the hell is Bang do not call Bang Bagas abbreviated as rowdy deh kemengernya same ears I waste gas, slovenly anyway Bang nyincisnya cool little.” My protest, instead of continuing to discuss the surprise of Bang Bagas last night, I diverted it to others. The tail of my eyes caught Mama and Papa shaking their heads while smiling at me.

“Hahahaha,, discard deck gas? Your ears are problematic. Beware if you do not call Bagas to BangBag, right? Let kedenger in your ears is Bambang wkwkwkwk Bambang Tamvan.” Bak Akbar with his satisfied laughter there.

“Ihhhhh..Which Ma'am Qiana or Dafa, don't go on, bw!” I cried out a little so that it made the attention of some visitors diverted towards me, ah stupid with others anyway do not know this hehe. From the phone, there was a clear nudity Bang Reza and the sound of women's nagging.

“Halo Deck, where are you? What time does it arrive?” ask a woman in her soft voice, and make sure this is the voice of Ms. Qiana.

“Ah... finally Sister Qiana also spoke. It's me same Mama, Papa is still in the cake shop. Ma'am wants to buy what is possible Dafa also.” My speech.

“Eh... why must buy take a Deck, tell the cashier part name Teh Lani tell pack as usual Mbak wrap if you want to go home from the store is the same you and Mama, Papa take it if you like do not have to pay it our business together hehehe.” Mbak Qia replied that ended by a joke that was actually crisp, the time of the store was called our store with hihi.

“Asssssyyiiiiaappp.. Mbakcuuu... yaudah Fani close yes.. Assalamu’alaikum” salamku before ending my call.

“Wa’alaikumsalam.” Ma'am Qiana replied and immediately closed the call.

“Ma.. Pa.. already?” I asked as I approached Mama and Papa.

“Iya already come to the cashier, eh you do not take anything?” mama asked confused after seeing my two tanagn I did not carry a tray like Mama.

“Hehehe, yes it's the same with Mama and Papa, same Ma'am Qia was pesen to Fani made in the cake pack as Mbak Qia wrapped when returning from here to his employees.” My answer was to explain to Mama and Papa.

Two medium-sized paper bags are already in your grasp, it's time to continue the journey to your new home.

Warm up first before we get into the adventure part of his life Fani. Adventure here does not mean adventure in and out of the forest huh hehehe…. But that adventure means a life journey that may be winding or straight..