Love (Not) Owned

Prov Malik's

I whose path was in a hurry did not pay too much attention to the person walking in front of me until finally the collision was inevitable. Instantly it was my reflex to quote all the groceries of the person I hit earlier.

"sorry I didn't mean it"

once again I apologize and for a moment I look right at who is standing before me.

Shofies...

My world instantly returned when I first met him when I entered First High School. He who came late during the School Orientation Period used to have the same accessories as the others in the form of vegetables tasted adorable. Her black skin is sweet, her nose is not sharp, her eyes are round, lashes are pliable, eyebrows thick, and not forget her teeth that make me captivated by her smile.

She was the figure of a small woman who was able to make me salting long ago. Since then I have begun to look at him. He who is famous for being fierce and even impressed tomboy alone has made me tremble especially if he has come to miss the class cash quotation. That's where I sometimes see it without having to look at the lyrics.

That's how I met him every day for three years. Even though we were in the same class did not rule out the possibility that I was always nervous.

I love playing guitar, I always pick up my guitar strings at break to show my heart, whether he feels it or not I don't know.

It was during sports hours, the first time I spoke to him. He who I consider cute turns out not like I thought, his son is easy to get along, humorous and if you like to talk. Since this is where he and I started telling each other social media accounts and not forgetting their phone numbers.

Sometimes we walk together even though not only the two of us are definitely Shofie and I, we invite other friends as well. Because I myself can at least be alone with the opposite sex.

I gasped as he grabbed the item I had been holding, and without me guessing he was sorry to pass. My lips are asking him to stop. Without further ado I asked for a moment and assented to him even though he was hesitant at first.

I looked at the woman's back, I observed her different style of dress. Now she is more enchanting with her loose-fitting robe and the veil that covers her chest. Do not forget also in wearing shoes that I know he is more comfortable wearing it than before and until now.

I don't know if I want to be angry or even happy to meet him again, because indeed since the reunion I never once saw him even I felt guilty after that.

For years I have been looking for him but the results are nil, even his close friend Jihan was reluctant to tell his whereabouts.

Her sister just said since coming home from the reunion event she had been making fun for college out of town. We initially refused only when we found out why we were forced to allow it. And he never came home during college, we always visited him.

All the social media that I blocked I reopened and when I dialed the number I could no longer connect.

I understand why her brother can't even give her information, because the source of the problem is in me.

why am I sorry this way

_____

After he got to the coffee shop and sat down I said my point this time. Yes an apology. That's all I told him, because for a few years I was always shrouded in guilt.

I also do not understand why by looking at his face my guilt and regret getting bigger.time as if toying with me, regretful sentences just came out of my lips.

And his last words were like a tip to me. This woman really does not understand or she is deliberately pretending.

I have placed her in my heart just as I first met her even though I am currently living a close relationship with another woman. For a few years I felt as normal as there were no seeds of love, just close without certainty.

Yunda, she is the woman I used to approach as I waited for the love answer from Shofie. At that time because I was about to continue my studies, I was a young soul passionate about love trying to find another stopover because the place I wanted to go before was not certain to be accepted.

Until now the woman who gave me from the beginning of the lecture until this moment. He asked me several times to propose to him but I was not ready, rather my heart was not ready to accept it.

He who occasionally visits my house and is familiar with my Father and mother makes his distance closer to my family.

I became worried plus my brother who continued to force me to get married because he was worried that my mother and father felt lonely because my brother who settled in Bandung came with her husband while my sister Farhan came home once a month because he was assigned by his office to take care of the branch office in Aceh.