Love (Not) Owned

Grief News

Not to mention where he stopped his car

"You think I'm your driver, why did you just shut up ?"

I remained silent

"you want me how to talk to me, you say I'm sorry, but why shut up" she said

"Malik, you realize what you're doing is wrong ?"

Wrongfully

iyeah

"i think I've obviously said the same to you but you didn't get my message so don't want me to ask your mother for permission, isn't that nice guy asking permission directly to his parents ?" it's like not to lose

"you don't understand, you can't see the situation of the person you are asking, you don't understand, you are still with your ego" I lamented

"shof, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like this" he regretted

The crying I was holding out from earlier broke

"you know I took pains to move away from the past in search of a new life in the hope that it could escape you, from that moment on I promised myself I would never marry until my heart was completely clear of your name, but in fact, God still has your name here, God still brings us together at certain times, I'm tired of wanting to live like everyone else without having to be in the shadows of the past, always afraid, always feeling alone I'm tired"

He was silent to see me as much as this, there was guilt from the look on his face.

"You may I ask that I better not come back here again, to a place where everything hurts where my dreams should be buried deeply, I should bury, the happy place I had to fight was destroyed but more than that I didn't want to continue to be a burden on my parents because of my selfishness"

"shof, sorry . You really I'm still with my ego, I still can't see your full state, I'm sorry"

"let's just say sorry can heal this heartache I've definitely been married a long time ago"

So long we were silent with each other's thoughts, Malik immediately drove his car to the beach, whether he wanted to take me here.

I set my feet along the beach until I was tired of coming and sitting on the white sand.

"after this I will not make you cry disappointed again, after this I will not disturb you again, I make sure this is the last time we talk" said Malik in the middle of the pounding waves.

After our situation was better, Malik drove me to the original destination, after which he immediately sent me home.

______

Mother who saw my return instantly changed her face when she saw my puffy eyes. His eyes looked at me as if asking for clarity but I who sometimes still held back the tightness of not being able to tell a story at that moment. I chose to go straight into my room where Mom and Malik were still on the terrace.

I who after that was still locked up in the room made Dad and Mom come to me in the room.

I told you everything about what I've been doing for the past few years, including what happened.

They only listen to me once in a while, Mom stroked my shoulders to strengthen.

"what looks wrong is not necessarily completely wrong, sometimes the error occurs for several reasons, you should never conclude something from one party, see first how it is" Abah said

"no papa ma'am don't need to apologize, maybe it's I who still can't mengikhlaskan and not used to the situation"

"It won't urge you to get married if you're not ready, but Abah hope you don't close yourself, you don't want to feel alone"

"yes bah, shofie knows this mother because unfortunately you guys, I promise from now on I will try to make peace with the situation"

"you already if uda mendingan you pray first so calm abis it immediately sleep yes" said my mother while the way out.

______

Malik really kept his word, he no longer sent messages and we never even met again after that day and the release of my students.

The days that I went through improved, I was also almost every day in the booth during this school holiday.

Our family plans to vacation in my mother's hometown in South Tapanuli two days later.

At least with this I can restore the spirit that was about to run out, I have to fill it before entering school.

Since I expressed my heart to Malik at that time my heart felt more plump but also disappointed whether the same. Disappointed with him or myself.

Our existence in the mother's village was so attention-grabbing because it was almost five years after my grandfather's grandmother died we have not returned here.

We stayed at the house of my late grandfather's sister, with an atmosphere that is still really a village even more beautiful than my village like not eroded by the flow of time, his society remains with the same customs as it used to be when I was Junior High.

There has not been a week we are here sad news we received that my brother died, just immediately when the news came last we received we also prepared to return home.

Abah was the first of nine children, to his brother he gave the same portion of his affection even though they had a family even already had a grandchild like him.

_____

By noon we arrived before the deceased in sholati. He who I have never seen crying this time also escaped even though only briefly, yes during the late sick Abah also took part in caring for him even several times when he was treated in our home, the issue of where his wife's son let be our story.

The atmosphere grew sadder as the coffins that carried the deceased step by step left the house. The sound of sobs was getting louder from the family.

This misfortune for all of us to gather here, relatives who rarely meet in the meeting here, all also let go of each other's longing.

That's why after the parents there are not many of their children who are no longer close as they used to be when the parents were alive.

That's also the reason why Abah and my mother always say someday when they don't we have to visit each other not only the young ones who come, but also the young ones who come, the old also visit first, the most important thing is that we embrace each other and give news.

After spending the night until the third night we said goodbye to go home.

Eventually Nadrah and Laila spent the rest of the holiday at Abah's house, while Zahra's brother returned to his Indekos.