Him Always

7

Do you like someone this complicated?

Why does it feel like this?

This isn't the familiar and pleasant taste I've ever felt?

Will everyone who likes feel the same way as me?

Why is it so hard to find an answer that should be easy, right?

When you hear someone expressing their joy to someone you also like out loud to you and your friends, what should you do?

Should I encourage him and support him?

If I support him, what about me?

Do I have to say that I like the same person?

But does that not matter?

If I am against it, who am I?

Huh, too many unpleasant questions in my heart.

Do I have to discuss this with Ajeng? He is just a friend who is very close to me.

Then after I talk to him, what do I get?

My head was getting dizzy when the day had just started.

Shortly after, a figure appeared that became the subject of gossip among the four of us. Maybe even a school.

He just got a love statement from someone who is also very much desired by many guys and is very admired by school residents, right?

Did he take it? I think they fit.

Another in the mouth another in the heart.

Honestly, I don't like the possibilities that are on my mind right now.

He smiled at the four of us.

Is God really fair when he created everyone in the world?

I saw a real injustice when I saw Raga's smile. I think he was created by having a smile that was sweeter than others, authoritative than others, more attractive than others, and another fact she also has an above average physical appearance and a watered-down brain.

Wait but! My thinking about a Pramudya Raga is God's injustice or the effect I like it?

Can I get that answer right away in my pretty brain that's been contaminated with this mecin directly?

Is this just an ordinary feeling of liking but I responded unnaturally?

I really want to eliminate this taste, the proof Ajeng can be ordinary to see Raga. Even when he smiled broadly.

If I can choose for sure I will ask God to give this liking to people who also like me so that this feeling is not this complicated.

But Raga? He is a man that many people want. He is like a jewel that is targeted by many people.

My interactions with him are like ordinary friends. We only talk if we need to. It also talks about schoolwork. No more than that.

The first year was in one class with Raga and her smile, quite pleasant.

I still hope next year I can still have a class with him.

Who knows if God is planning something more, right?!

I wonder if Raga has ever been a little interested in me?

Or maybe he already has someone he already likes in his life?

If so, how is that girl?

Surely he was very interesting, seeing the very charming Raga.

Did that girl also like Raga?

Did when the girl liked Raga, she also felt the love I felt towards Raga?

Pramudya Raga.

He was the one who helped me feel love for the opposite sex for the first time.