He's Not For Me

CHAPTER 8 | Fear of Losing You

A hospital that is not too crowded, Billy accompanied his mother to take medicine for her joints that began to calcify. But as keadaab sided with him, he saw Airin sitting in a wheelchair and walking with his mother into a hallway. Several times he had doubted it was Airin but the shape of his body and face was at first glance similar to Airin, his heart was very sure that it was his lover.

“Mama, get in the car first, there is something Billy must see”, he said while giving the car keys to his mother. Biily chased Airin who went into the hospital hallway but did not find him, almost the entire hallway he traced but he did not find Airin anywhere. Until finally his eyes were fixed on one point, Billy approached him to make sure that it was Airin and sure enough, he was his lover namu not like Airin who usually, he looks pale and very thin, he looks pale, even her hair was thinner than before.

“What's wrong with you baby?” he covered her mouth. Soon he reached into the cell phone in his pants pocket and tried to contact Airin.

From the wheelchair, Airin felt his phone vibrate, the incoming call from Billy apparently, he realized that long enough to avoid his lover, Airin decided to respond to his call.

“Hai dear, what's up? Sorry I rarely respond to your calls and messages. I was busy at the end of this”, Airin responded cheerfully as usual.

What Billy saw and what he heard was very different, he knew that Airin was forcing everything and did not want him to know.

“Diama you? Did you know that I miss you so much? Since our date, you are increasingly difficult to contact dear”, reply Biily who is still watching Airin from afar.

“I? I was with my friend. Bianca is also with me, what's the matter with me?”, replied Airin.

As if his feet were walking on their own, Billy came near Airin who was in a wheelchair and held back his tears, the closer he saw the pain that his lover was harboring alone.

“In the name of your friend?”, asked Billy to Airi who is currently in front of him. Billy crouched down and likened his height to Airin sitting in a wheelchair, his tears flowing down his cheeks when he saw his current lover was weak helpless and worse, he did not know it at all.

“What's wrong with you? Why hide it all this time dear?”, asked Billy to look into the eyes of Tirin, now he can not stem the sadness in his heart, he felt to be a man who is not good for his lover.

“Am I that bad that you didn't tell me about your current condition?”, asked Billy again.

Airin revealed his hands to Billy's face, he could not stand Billy crying in front of him because of his dishonesty.

“It's not like that, it's not like you think. I just don't want to tell you, I want you to just know I'm healthy and cheerful, I care about you and smile every day. Not the figure of me like this, sick and even ugly, skinny and unkempt”, Airin replied to Billy in front of him.

“One month ago and yes, I did not let you know”, reply Airin softly.

Billy closed his eyes and buried his face in the lap of Airin who was in a wheelchair, he really did not expect this to happen to his lover. Starting from that day, Billy always accompanied Airin and took his time for Airin, sometimes he also took care of Airin at night. His love for Airin was so great, he even gave up his exhausted self to see Airin smilingly meet him, because he knew that Airin was more important than him.

That afternoon, after Billy came home from work, he stayed at the hospital and forced Airin's mother to go home and alternate with him. Airin was forced to be hospitalized because his condition is not good, just fine, the situation is not much different from patients with blood cancer in general but this time Airin a little worse and make him have to undergo hospitalization.

“Come home, Bianca says that she will meet me tonight because tomorrow is her day off. Respect, I know you are tired”, said Airin who was a little worried about the health of his lover. Billy shook his head and placed Airin's palm on his face.

“Calm down, I'm fine. Besides, the facilities here are very comfortable, if I'm tired I can lie in that bed. Do you like Bianca who accompanies you rather than your own lover? That's right” grunts annoyed. Airin could laugh a little because of Billy's attitude

“Do you have nothing to change from you Airin, you are still beautiful with that smile. The loss of your hair or the loss of your weight will not be able to cover your beauty that has existed since the beginning. Don't be discouraged and embarrassed in front of me just because you don't feel worthy of love. I love you so much”, Billy said gently to Airin, who managed to make the woman melt. Not only handsome, Billy like a complete package and the dream lover of all women, Airin always said that he was very lucky to be able to date a handsome and kind man like Billy. Men who only look at one woman although many other women are much more beautiful and seductive than Airin.

“Why am I like this you still fighting?”, asked Airin to Billy.

Now Billy changed his position to lie next to Airin's bed which was large enough and fit for both of them.

“Kit together has been almost five years, right? Just because you were sick and your body changed and I just left you? That means from the beginning I only wanted your body. I love you for who you are and we agreed to get married, right? So let's do it”, reply Billy who was back able to make Airin smile happy, every day he always has a reason to heal and make his condition better than the previous day, one of them is because Billy, his desire to marry Billy is very strong in his heart and his intention to recover from his illness is also increasing.

“I will be healed, wait until then. Don't stare at other women who are much younger or better than me, remember!!. You are mine and only mine” exclaimed Airin as he pointed towards Billy warning him

That night they slept hugging each other in the same bed. Their love is getting stronger and more tested, like nothing can separate them even though they are sick. But can their love really survive? While his girlfriend is lying weak in the hospital, can Billy survive with all that?.

“I miss you the former Airin”, murmured inwardly while gently tucking into Airi's forehead who was asleep beside her.