Between Me You And Him

Api

The day that passed made me feel more and more full of colors, very beautiful and very meaningful colors that do not want to end just like that, he said, don't want me to destroy the beauty of the color with a dark color ink that wants to close the light. Everything that happened seemed like I wouldn't let it pass. The color I wanted to keep and wanted to see and I guess for every moment of time I was going through. The time that may continue to run without stopping, the time that might be able to add to the color of the color is more beautiful earthy or even the time that will make my color is bright. I can't control myself between Arta or Daniel. Sooner or later this is going to get worse and out of control . no longer a flowing river but like at the end of a deep waterfall.whether there are rocks or smooth smooth smooth course all invisible. all were neatly and beautifully covered by the coolness and splashing of its flowing water. Sometimes I feel great happiness because I can feel the arrival of the Arta mas that I always dreamed of at that time, even though it was too late despite being far from everything I hoped for but still all should not come to me at this moment. All the beautiful things that have been my hope all the things I dreamed of since I closed, I have been obliterated until I completely forgot it and did not consider it to exist . dim already... gradually eroded until no longer left. now even present again with a heavier taste and as if I had to be washed back. The Mas Arta that I wanted so much in the past, which I so idolized, so crazy to want to be with him now comes with a million expectations that I ever wanted. It's too late, but I also don't want to waste this moment. Where everything seems to be on my side, as if I don't want to miss the rainbow that comes right in front of my eyes... Now Arta and I are quietly intertwined, silent, we are indeed close maybe not yet for the word lover but we like to make a pact about the relationship we live. No one knows if we're close... Neither does my best friend know. And vice versa. yes ..we are equally aware of the risks of all this but either I still agree to enter into the abyss. Sooner or later it will be broken. Sooner or later I could be mired in the abyss I created and dug for myself. We don't care what's really wrong. We are only trapped by the sense of comfort that is present just like that... Arta and I are far away, but we never lose communication every day.. On the sidelines of his class between activities and busyness there must be time to greet me... The day I was with Daniel, we were always together, after school we felt like there was no communication. Either a little away or yes because every time we often pass together and close so after meeting we rarely communicate via cell phone.

"haiii silly.. (short message from the Arta mas) yes we always have a behavior to provoke laughter among us.cumakan hai sweet or haii what is good to hear. I ignored the message because there is still Daniel 😅 already equally understand and understand each other for the risks that will occur yes this is how it ends...

after Daniel came home I just took the time to reply to Arta's short message...

"hoii sok cool's...

"cie's dating again

"ahh cuttle luhh

"safe no???. This nihhhh is always there among us. moments like this or this question always appears a sign want to call me, making sure there is no Daniel, Ima or Ayu

every day besides the news passing when he always call me sometimes twice a day. I once got a complaint from ima and ayu because we have a group rumpong.I never present when there is a chat that is always not important but always keeps us busy and becomes our excitement. I was never again present in their midst, not never the hell but it was rare that I joined the roost. It scares me but I often ignore it.

Nothing is impossible, not if it all feels like winking. A taste that should be dead, a taste that should be gone, yes it seems easy to say all those things .. But this taste is so strong. Wrong or right I no longer think about it anymore. everything seems only about selfishness, selfishness supported as if everything has been planned and neatly arranged to do.

I've lit this little spark... A fire that might grow and destroy everything... The fire was calm but brought sorrow. The fire that will get higher and bigger no matter the circumstances, all can be lunge... Valuable or not all. This fire is still small and must be extinguished, but this fire remains burning as if to survive and control everything...

The fire that lit... A burning fire is not just a greeting but maybe he wants power. Haii apii I hope you're friends with me instead of eating me up. Like wood burned out in a fire that continues to strike does not want to be extinguished.

Oh my God how I have to deal with all this... Wrong yes I'm wrong I can't resist rasakuuu.

The presence that I longed for from the past, which is now present I can not avoid and I revert... A world that seemed cruel brought together the feeling I once wanted so much when I was with others...

The wrong that I keep lunge, the wrong that I continue...

Could it be that all this will survive and end in good condition just fine . could it be happy ending as I imagined it like in a fairyland. I want to write and I want to assemble the storyline of my life goes well and ends well...

A very happy ending ended with a smile......

if only.....