Between Me You And Him

Complicated

I don't know if Daniel's still angry or if he's in what condition and how, since yesterday's incident he hasn't contacted me, nor have I contacted him. I was clearly wrong, but what else do I have. Everything seems to have to be this way. If only I was the director or I was the screenwriter, I would have made a smooth plot of my story. Unfortunately all this is just a shadow and a mere fantasy, because in fact I am only able to live it and try to choose the best for my own life. But in fact what I think is good for me is not for them. Everything seems to go awry, I don't know what's good and what's bad anymore, it just doesn't make any difference.

I don't know today Daniel never came to pick me up, only this time he was like this, used to be angry whatever he was with me he still came to pick me up, but not this time. Maybe he's still very angry with me. Did I really make him angry? ahhhh I don't know if you have to keep this up.

Finally I walk to school, it's too late I don't know if I'm late or not. I keep going with all my mixed thoughts.

"Ta. yok brangkat same me." said Arta who had stopped beside me.

"hmm. I just walk .."

"sure you want to walk? are you not afraid this late is already 7 hours less 5 minutes Ta.

"what a hell is mas?"

"had gone up

finally I did not answer directly up. I don't think I have a choice. I don't know what would happen if Daniel was in school and knew I was with Arta back. And it's true that I already have Ayu and Ima waiting for me anxiously.

I went down and walked towards the gate and they were shocked to see me with Arta's mas. I don't know what was on their minds when they saw me get off Arta's motorcycle.

I'm sure the two of them must have gone to work and investigated to question me.

Ima starts to notice me and runs up to me and Ayu just walks behind Ima.

"Ta.. how can you be the same as Arta? Where's daniel?" ask Ima

"did Daniel not leave?"

"are you fighting Daniel?" ask Ayu

"hemm as you thought Yu. the problem I was talking about was you at that time."

"that's not what I mean Ma, but you like Daniel's leach ahead so I deliberately didn't tell you"

we walked to class waiting for Daniel. But baby, until the lesson begins Daniel is not also visible. No matter where he went, since that incident there was no news from him or me. Equally silent, without giving news or just a small attention to ask the situation.. I admit I was wrong I ignored him, he should know but I didn't even think. I'm sorry if you think I'm selfish with our relationship, I'm like this to keep our relationship. I don't want it all to end up in vain. I love you, Niel. I hope you understand this situation. Where have you been, Niel, did you not go to school today...

Hours of rest have passed the lesson has begun but still Daniel did not come. If he has a meeting or something about basketball usually after the break he appears but this is not. I am really worried about making, is all this because of me. Why are you like this Niel.. whether our relationship is right² will be destroyed.why all must happen... I still don't see school hours either..

"uh tumben Daniel did not enter Ta?"

"ah lo Ma also asked rich do not know Daniel lo.. "

"heh I asked Ita why do you participate nyerocos replied Yu?"

"ih you guys like a child already.has been your invitation to wait. There home"

"sensi very luh Ta. yes yes I go home. da.." replied Ima as he passed walking ahead.

"Ta I go home first. I hope lo and Daniel are fine. tar lo kabarin yes let you not worry, I have to lo Ta."

"thank you Yu..."

I walked home with a bad taste and mind. My mind drifted, my feelings were troubled, I was afraid that it would all end.I was afraid that Daniel would really leave this relationship. I'd love to hoist him but I don't have the guts yet. It all feels so hard for me to live. From that day on I really didn't know which way I was on and which way I set foot for my relationship with Daniel. It may be hard, heavy and unacceptable for Daniel but I have no other way. I'm sorry Daniel all I took was my way of finding the safest for us. Wrong maybe if I take all these decisions myself but I can what I can not underestimate Arin.. He's far more dangerous than you think. It's way ahead of what we think. Everything we thought was not in line with what Arin was going to do.

I know you must be mad at Niel. I know you're disappointed, I know you won't be out of thought with what I'm doing. But trust me, I have no intention of letting you down.. I promise sooner or later I'll tell you all about the complexity I've been through. This taste is still the same, this taste is still settled, this taste is still yours Niel. I hope the same with what is in your heart still I am the owner. Today I am still silent and choose to remain silent in a thousand languages even I ignore you because I myself am afraid that you will still hold anger and you will not accept all my explanations. I hope tomorrow you're in Niel's school, to be honest, I'm very nervous because you don't go to school and we don't exchange news. I hope you're okay even if I know not with your heart right now.

Daniel.I miss everything that's on you... Your smile that always takes me drifting in tranquility when worries hit, your attention that makes me melt in love, I am not the best but I want the best... I'm still yours, I'm still your lover, I still love you, and I don't want everything to end up like a very unexpected and shocking storm.

My prayer is always the best for you, Daniel...