A Memorandum

Storia 6: Night For Both

Two weeks after the events of that day, it seemed like that was where it all started, when Ryan started not being able to pass the time without ever thinking about Sarah.

He felt quite strange indeed, when everything went like this. Especially when he thought about the events over the past few months. Even remembering it almost drove him crazy. He knew some of them were still trying to shake his feelings. He believed that what he felt was only because he was impressed. But what happened then was that he lost control. Even he could not control what came to his own mind.

He knows that his interest right now is not just about wanting to spend my time with him. More to wanting to have it. Everything about him suddenly attracted him. He had no idea when he started feeling it. But still, he still regarded it as the most ridiculous thing that had ever happened in his life. He began to imagine that he would deal more with his father later. Another fact that he was really avoiding. Plus if you talk about your friends again. He just felt that he was still not fully prepared if he had to deal with everything. Moreover, he is also not someone who is so good at romance.

True, he had indeed fallen in love before. The last time it happened wasn't even more than two years ago. When he was in a relationship with someone named Maria. She was one of the students in Bandung and was two years younger than him. They even had time to express the seriousness of each, before Mary who suddenly left her life. “You know, I always make time for you. I always try to be in contact. But you always have a reason to avoid. I don't even know if you expect the same from me. But I can't see your seriousness anymore now.” That's what he said on his last phone. Part of Ryan also knows if his words have a point. He ended their relationship after three years.

Distance, however, was the hardest thing for them. Even though Ryan could ultimately only see that as an excuse. Because not long after, the two only heard the news that he suddenly married another man. For Sarah, maybe the story will be different. Love is a two-way relationship, right? And he can't put his heart on someone temporarily and doesn't expect that person to not feel the same way. Something he had to figure out in detail.

It's true that Sarah has always given pleasant signals. He has even shown it many times. Like the cuisine he often brings home, he who prefers to spend time with him, small facts that if collected will give more meaning. And even if there were still other obstructions, it seemed that only their basic principles were entirely different. He knew it would remain a long conflict between them. Something that will never be finished if it does not sacrifice the feelings of one or the other. Something he certainly had to figure out a way to talk about later on in the back. So there is only one way to deal with it. And here's the most important part.

For this reason, he planned to meet Sarah right at his home. And he also did not plan to call her first before coming there. What he did was to follow Sarah's habit of coming home.

He then planned his date at night. And not only because the night is a relaxing time of course, but also because the night is an interesting time to pass both. Especially after considering the fact that Welmina is indeed the safest place on earth. The crime rate there is very low. Even his worst crime seems to be chicken theft. Even the victims deserve that. That's because the chickens here do like to be taken off carelessly. They used to climb to the highest branches every night. That makes everyone have to be extra careful every time they cross. Because even though they are sound asleep, the stupid chickens certainly do not care anymore about who passes under their feet. And even if there are other crimes, it seems like only the usual case of losing sandals there. This often happens in places of worship. But just like the first case, no such crime has ever been reported in Welkmina. Which would be the silliest record in police history if it happened.

Actually, he was also not too sure whether to take Sarah for a walk or not, but if you have to talk at home too, it was a good start. Although he had to have other plans when dealing with his father later. Remembering all his mistakes in the past. But the distance of his house with Sarah's house is quite far. Even he had to be drenched in sweat before he got there. He has to do it on foot.

He immediately knocked on the door as he got there, waited for a while, then knocked again. Even he was already feeling anxious because he would soon face Otto right in front of his house. In his heart he began to recall how long he had been in Dulin. Just wondering what made him come here. But fortunately, it was not Otto who opened the door first, but Sarah.

“Ryan,” says when the door opens. “I thought who was.” His welcome was as enthusiastic as every time he stopped by the house. Ryan knew Sarah was also a little surprised to see her coming. He also seemed happy with his presence. He looked behind her for a moment, and then spoke again. “What are the nights like?”

“Oh..., no..., I just want to talk!”

Sarah was silent for a moment, seemingly thinking about her situation just now. “You walk here? Is your home far away?” Then said.

In a moment, that question did not immediately return Ryan to him now. And she focused more on the clothes Sarah was wearing. Which made him not answer exactly as he asked.

Then he muttered. “You want to leave the house now?” Ask.

He was wearing a blue blouse and his trousers. A type of clothing that seems not too familiar is worn inside the house. Maybe he wants to go to some place or something here. Before Ryan's arrival stopped him for a moment.

“Not really...,” says. Looked at him for a moment.

“Oh..., so am I bothering you?”

“No...,” said, and Sarah laughed. “I just want to breathe fresh air, I guess that's it. But the hunt you came..”.

For a moment, he may have questioned Sarah's words. In Welmina, there seems to be no place to just hang out or anything like that. Which confused him a little. But he chose to ignore it later. Until he started talking again.

“So...., do you want us to sit outside or talk inside?” Reciprocity. And this is exactly what Ryan is looking forward to.

He glanced inward for a moment. And soon find out if there are any children there. Maybe they can talk outside the house to avoid unwanted things happening. Moreover, the choice is also not too bad.

Then Ryan mumbled. “If you let me in, I don't think it's a problem.” Legally.

In the end they sat inside the house, and chose the living room to talk, before Sarah left for a while. For a moment, Ryan thought that he wanted to tell his father or what was inside, before calling him here. He could even feel his nervousness growing so now. Thinking about how to avoid. He remembered that he had been in Dulin long enough, and Otto hadn't seen him in weeks. He must have thought that he had done his job properly this time. Thought in the heart. But that's not what Sarah did then. He brought two drinks when he came back. Before sitting in his chair again. This time in a slightly distant position.

Then Ryan mumbled. “Your father is not home?”

“You don't know?” Sarah is confused. “My father is going out of town.”

“To outside the city?”

“Ya.., this morning.”

“Oh..,” sahut. His tone showed as if it was a pleasant surprise for him. In fact, he was unaware if Sarah had just caught his expression just now.

“You seem happy when my dad is not home?” Then sahut. Which immediately explained what he was feeling at that moment. Ryan did not answer. And they sat in silence for a while.

He then lamented the photos on the wall. Try to melt the atmosphere. Even just a moment ago, she had already been very steady when referring to it as a date. But now he was suddenly already here, and he did not know how to overcome his own awkwardness. In his heart he began to imagine the extent to which this situation would continue. Definitely not something he expected. But luckily, it was Sarah who spoke to him again. Where he directly directs it to the topic of his conversation.

“Ryan, you said there was something you wanted to talk about, right?” Ask later.

“Ehm..., actually not.”

“So why are you here?”

“In fact..., I just want to meet you, that's it.” Honest Sahut. Sarah started laughing.

“Then why didn't you call me?” Ask Sarah again.

“Oh... that.., I guess... I'm a little forgetfulness.”.

“You're weird now,” his chirps, and he's laughing again.

This time Ryan did not answer. And he only murmured if Sarah was the one who made it so. But soon a child suddenly came to them, before sitting right next to Sarah. And he knew his name Vira when Sarah called him. The attention of the two slowly turned to the little boy again. Ryan was quite relieved by his presence there. Although from the look of his eyes he knew that Vira also did not like him. He even became a little surprised because Otto's attitude could be inherited like this.

“He's your nephew?” His words fill the time.

Sarah nodded, not realizing there was anything strange about her question. “Yes, all the little kids there are my niece.”

“Oh..., it seems that now you are the only one who has not married.” God now.

This time it was Sarah who didn't say it, but she liked it when Ryan treated her this way, and she just smiled at herself. That's why Ryan spoke again. “Then what do you want to do after this Sarah? I mean... Your future plans?”

“You mean?”

“I mean, you must have a desire ahead, right? What do you want to achieve? Hope or something?” Just this time he thought of asking her life directly. And it seemed like it could slightly unravel the anxiety he was feeling right now.

Then Sarah muttered. “Entahlah. Building a house maybe. Buy something.” Legally.

He blinked. Imagine how Sarah's brain works. He doesn't even know if his words are less. “You're not planning on getting married? I mean, I've heard of your desire for it.” He said at last, and he laughed again.

“Everyone at my age would want to marry Ryan. The question is how ready.” is

“Oh..., so your choice now is yes?” Ask again.

This time he did not see Sarah too surprised by his question. What she thinks Sarah also knows is that the question is aimed at herself. He didn't even give her the choice not to say no seriously this time. But instead of directly answering, Sarah turned her face for a while. Makes her think if she just got her rejection.

But then again, he again gave a mild surprise there. With pleasant signals through his little smile.

“Yes, so you have to congratulate me. Because I still don't have.” His mouth and he laughed.

Of course he also liked the news just now. Which made him smile too. Part of him also wanted to take her further into his feelings. To find out if the opportunity really exists or not. As well as exploring the situation he was facing at the time. But something in him again reminded him that he shouldn't have done it in a hurry. That's why Ryan turned his face towards the wall of his house later. Don't know what he's got to say. But for a moment, he actually became a little laugh when he knew the beauty of Sarah turned out he got from his mother. The sudden small reality made him a little happy.

“Why are you laughing?” Sarah suddenly asked. The question immediately returned his consciousness.

“No, I just found out that you're beautiful like your mother!” Her mouth, pointing to her photo on the wall. For a moment, he immediately realized that it was only then that he blatantly praised her.

He waited for her to say something, seeing the influence of her last words, but she just kept quiet and said nothing. Other than just hiding her joy behind her smile again. To be honest, he also did not want to deprive that happiness from there back then. But that seems to be what he then unconsciously did.

“Oh yes Sarah... Did your mother come out of town with your father?” Then he asked.

And he could see Sarah thinking once to answer his question. He couldn't even guess what he was thinking. “So you don't know?” Even, ask back. “Actually..., my father and mother have been separated for a long time.”

“Oh.., sorry.” Smooth back.

“It's okay, Ryan. You don't have to apologize.”

“I'm sorry for asking.”

Even after working for many years, he never knew what Otto's life had been like. Not only because conflict occurs between them, but also because anyone is lazy to do that. Then suddenly he realized that he had never seen Otto with anyone else who might have been his wife. Even when he often passed in front of their house. She never stopped by her house, nor planned to come there, which made their lives really feel alien to Ryan's ears.

Sarah's way of saying that wasn't to show her the problem or share her feelings, but rather to explain what she was asking at the time. Which somehow makes me even worse.

He began to imagine Sarah's life during those times. When he was raised his father was alone. Our lives are not much different. Thought in the heart. Although there are still fundamental differences that occur between the two. Then suddenly the story of Sarah melunturkan all the turmoil that at that time he felt. In fact, he suddenly regretted for never treating her well all this time. Including when he often met her at the back. And he saw Sarah holding Vira on her lap again now. It was obvious to clear his mind. Before his eyes moved towards the wall again. Look at the wall clock there. Even he already felt extremely uneasy as he continued to do that before him. His words back surprised him.

“You've had dinner Ryan?” He asked, as he turned back to her.

For a moment, he barely caught his point. They almost made a mistake.

“Um... actually not.” Legs, plain.

Hearing her reply, Sarah momentarily nodded. Before smiling and taking her to the dining room.

In his heart, he began to think that he could be more free now.

The atmosphere for a moment was crowded, as we walked through the living room, before continuing to step into the kitchen again. From the inside, we also passed the children in the television room. I can see the whole house from the inside. And everything really looks neat. On the wall, in one of the hallways leading to the kitchen, I again found a photo of their family. One of them is a photo of Otto when he was young. He is still with a full family. With little Sarah among them. Even he seemed to be able to feel the atmosphere when the small family photo was taken. On a day where the atmosphere was still full of laughter.

A part of him also still felt guilty about his question just now. Ignorance, almost makes the day end in error. And he didn't want to hurt Sarah many times. Which makes him more careful.

Further inside, the kitchen does not look big. But still as comfortable as any other room. All furniture is made of selected wood. Some of them are carved from mahogany or ulin wood. There is hardly any modern side of the place. The only new one seemed to be just the existence of a refrigerator in that place alone. Its existence may be almost the same as the existence of electricity in Welmina. But everything looks in harmony. He sat down at one of the tables, while Sarah prepared a dish.

“You ever tasted venison?” He asked, for a moment he opened a small tupperware for her, while Ryan shook his head. He put it on the table. “It feels good. You should try it!” Connect again.

Even the aroma almost made the saliva melt.

This was not the first time he had heard of it, but it was still an unusual moment. Not only because the number is small, but also because it requires distance in looking for it. The people used to buy them from the hunters. And at an exorbitant price.

He then took his first bribe, and began to comment. “You're right. It's so delicious.” His word. “It feels like mutton.”

“Cow meat certainly.” He protested. “But with a slightly soft texture.”

Ryan scanned his face at a glance, “Ya.. it looks like, and you're like a chef huh now.” Legally.

“Ya..., that's it, right? Who do you think cooks in this family? It's easy anyway.” The reply and he laughed. And Ryan did not give anything in return but laughed anyway.

Next, he took a few more mouthfuls, observing Sarah who was just sitting right in front of him. But what surprised him was he who did not touch his food at all.

“You didn't eat?”

“I'm not hungry.” Legally. “I mean, I actually ate.”

“Oh..., so...., you'll just accompany me?”

He then nodded. While Ryan mumbled.

“I'm not used to when people watch me eat. So why not taste it a little?”

“I'm not hungry. Really.”

“Come... You must accompany me now! Besides, you won't be fat if you just take a mouthful or two. I mean ..., you'll still be beautiful with your body like that.”

He let his comment momentarily sneak up on her, and let her laugh. A new reality again when he came back to praise her.

“If that's what you mean as a compliment, fine..” Then say.

He put his plate on the table, then sat down again right next to the table, before putting his dish there. This time it was less than Ryan's portion. And he's starting to feed it into his own mouth now.

“Why?” He asked while Ryan was still looking at him. “You asked me to accompany you right?” And as he nodded, the two continued to have dinner again amidst the silence.

It feels so good to be able to eat together, inside his house, and just their own. Even the dishes taste delicious. A small slice of meat, with a strong seasoning mix, she didn't even know if Sarah could cook this well. They didn't talk much anymore during those times. Only their spoons and plates both kept ringing.

“So the kids are there, didn't you take them out to eat, Sarah?” Suddenly asked. Even for a moment, he realized he had made a mistake.

“I don't know. I thought they had eaten. After all they will only interfere,” he said, in a secretive tone. And Ryan liked to see his expression just now. “You know, kids like to mess.” But he added again.

There was a pause before they spoke again.

“What are they all going to sleep here?” Ask back.

“No! They usually go home if the movie is finished.”

“Oh...., then how are their parents?”

“Ya..., of course they come.” Legally, but he could see Sarah watching his words later. “Oh..., you mean you're afraid they found you huh? Just chill! They won't kill you just for seeing you here!” He added again and he laughed. Clearly did not catch the meaning of his words just now. But he didn't respond.

“Do you always fear the family of your female friends?” This time Sarah asked.

“No. Just your dad.” Then he said, without seriously answering. And Sarah also responded with a laugh.

They finished dinner shortly afterwards, and both were quite satisfied with the dish. For a moment, Ryan helped Sarah tidy up the table, while Sarah washed all the utensils in the wash, before once again heading to her living room. They don't talk too much this time. Most of them are just struggling with their own thoughts.

Outside, the streets are getting quieter. Of all places, it seems that only Sarah's home is now open. Even when the new clock passes a little at nine in the evening. But time in the end made him know enough to not continue to linger there. Even though he wanted it more.

He tried to improve his feelings in those moments, putting his hands in the pouch many times, before getting up from the seat. Sarah also followed her movements there. “I think I should leave immediately!” Finally spoken.

“So you're going home?” Ask again, and Ryan nodded.

The two walked slowly outside the door then, standing briefly under the illumination of her porch, before she again forced her courage. “Can we meet again tomorrow, Sarah?” Said mince words.

But Sarah let her comment pass for a moment, and a little long digested her speech there. At first glance, Ryan had just seen his doubts.

“Even if my father comes?” Then sahut.

“You mean it will come tomorrow..?” The reply. He did not even hide the shock from his tone. Conclusion comes very quickly.

Sarah then laughed. Makes her know if Sarah was just joking with him.

The moon looks full. And there was no cloud to stop it. The light really makes the night in Welmina blazing. But he's still waiting for Sarah's answer here. Maybe he forgot his question.

“So...., you're not too bothered, are you, Sarah's tomorrow? I thought I could come to your house again.” Say back.

“Oh.., yes, of course. I'll really like it.”

The answer he had been waiting for. Then of course, fun. While he was back on his feet.

“You sure you're home on foot?” Ask, when he just passed the fence of his house.

“Ya,” and she nodded.

“Nights like this?”

And he nodded once more.

“Um. I thought you could take my vehicle if you wanted! Just so you can pick me up in the morning! Because I have to work too, right?” Said slowly. Back to showing his attention.

He knew Sarah meant well. But he didn't know how to resist and without hurting his feelings. At least not today.

Then he muttered. “It's okay. I guess I just want to enjoy the night with a short walk. But thank you.” His mouth is smiling.

Sarah thought for a moment of her words. “Alright..., if that's what you want.” Then sahut.

And he had already walked a little further while peering back for a bit. Sarah's house is closed. While the one that kept spinning inside his head was just the incident just now. He who can speak fluently right in front of him, Sarah who invited him to dinner at his house, especially his attitude that greatly enjoyed the meeting, for him it was a good start. Just as he had expected. He could not wait for their next meeting.