A Memorandum

Prologues

What does true love mean? This is what I finally understood when I got to know Sarah.

There were a lot of oddities as I pondered it back. But it is this weirdness that makes our story even more interesting. I'm sure Sarah must have thought the same.

We have a lot of differences between us, where I prefer to live in the middle of big cities, he is more pleased with the atmosphere of the countryside is so thick. A place where the road is only a mound of clay, there is never the sound of four-wheeled vehicles passing by, let alone a place of entertainment or something like that. For all he needs is the tranquility of nature. And he just needs to start with a breath of fresh air every morning. That was enough for him to survive in the midst of an increasingly complicated life.

He told me, if he never dreamed of living luxury though. And had it materialized, it would not have brought much pride to him either. It makes his soul calmer than anyone else. He only dreamed of children who could grow up in the same environment as him. Accompany them to adulthood. Then age quietly at the end of his time. A request that is not too grandiose, right? But our story even started six years ago. Which for any number of reasons, I probably won't be able to forget for life.

We made friends, spent time together, and showed concern for each other. Things that would never happen if there were no underlying reason. For that reason, then I loved him. That feeling even made my days much more beautiful than I had ever felt before. I, probably don't have a good experience for romance. But I'm pretty sure that I've dropped my feelings on the right heart this time. I kept those shadows in my head for a long time. At least until time reveals everything.

Because like most love stories in general, I also hope that our story continues forever. But in reality, I had to mourn this story that ended as a tragedy. Part of me felt really sick when this whole thing had to end. But life is not always as we expect, is it?

And this is how I feel, after time I can finally see it in a better way.

I could feel the warmth of his hand when we could hold hands back that night. But when our eyes began to meet, I knew I had to take off my grasp immediately. Because our story has been completely different now. But something strange suddenly happened without me noticing. And without ever understanding, all the memories that happened in those days suddenly came back to me. Although some of them feel faint.

I try to look behind me, back to review everything. Because this is what I have to do now. And here, on one edge of Bandung, everything feels so contrasting from what I've ever remembered. There are only magnificent buildings standing here. Every inch of land is also so dense with the number of settlements. Even children can't run around in the middle of the highway anymore here. Because those who could easily get hit if dared to do so. But there, I can still see the thickets of the wilderness, the rivers that flow fast, or occasionally feel the muddy sound of nature. Maybe I miss her once in a while, but I know I'm never coming back.

I looked back at the watch on my left hand, it was almost one o'clock by noon now. Although the black clouds made me unable to feel the sun anymore from up there. And on my desk, I just opened up my old story. A story I wrote a few minutes ago. Something that is also not due to its own necessity when I do it. But also because I started to like it. But in spite of everything, I knew I had to finish all of this immediately.

So here I am Ryan William. This is my story when I was 25. But this time I knew where to start.