A Memorandum

Storia 16: A Photo

Ryan was in Welmina when his father died. And he only found out after two weeks of being there. But just like his other friends, it was impossible to ask Otto's permission to leave again. Because he's still angry at what he's doing. That's why he couldn't attend her funeral right away. But Sarah is once again, so her savior is here. Ryan had no idea what he was doing, or what he had talked to Otto before, but the situation completely changed when Ryan explained his circumstances to him. Before even asking for help.

But the flight back to Bandung really feels empty. Only bitter memories he remembered along the way. He suddenly recalled all the events that had happened between them before. And he suddenly felt remorse for the way he treated his father the last night before he left again. He hoped to be able to accompany her until the very last moment. Give him what he wanted at that time. Which he won't be able to do again. All of those feelings suddenly made him some sort of excuse that he was the one who caused him to die. Along the way, he could only stare out the window, with a glazed look. But no matter how much he regretted, he could never make it back.

It was dark when Ryan got home. And he went back to face his mother in front of him just as the door finally opened. He also did not get any welcome. He was no longer surprised to see her coming. Ryan knew his mother still could not erase the tension that was going on between them. And he also did not know whether his mother was still expecting his arrival or not. He also could not do anything to stop it. Confusion, in the end, makes both of them just spend time in silence. He immediately put his foot into his room. And choose to be alone again.

The next day, then all his feelings like a stranger in the house unraveled. His uncle Thomas, this time he began to ask a lot about his work. Before directing his talk to his father. “Thlow!” he opened the conversation. And there he uttered a reality that momentarily made his throat again choked.

“I'm here because of your father. And that's because there's something he put on me. So it would be very wrong if I didn't deliver it.” He stopped for a moment, looking for a way to say it again. “I know what your relationship is like. But shouldn't it be, fellow families don't get along with each other? He just wanted to say sorry, Ryan. But he can't say it now. That's why I delivered the message. And he really has high hopes for you. Even he was completely powerless just to deliver his last request himself.”

It sounded shocking, so he was unable to speak anymore.

“I do not intend to interfere in your affairs. I just relayed the message. There's no harm in that anyway, isn't it, if you grant a dead person's request? Try to remember her kindness as long as she's alive. Maybe you can still find him.”

And again, for the last time.

For a moment, he suddenly felt a considerable pressure within his stomach, which instantly increased towards his chest, and left nothing else there other than deepening regret. From there, he felt like he was in his position right now. As he looked at the remnants of his life in the shadows of horror. Dying, but everyone chooses not to care. Even by his own son. Moreover, the most painful reality is the time of his last words that must be represented by others.

It was only the next day, when her feelings began to get a little better, that she again missed her time to sneak into her father's room again. Sit and sit on his bed. Two weeks later, he died, but he still felt his presence there. On the table, right next to his bed, Ryan accidentally discovers a photo album of their family. Memories formed throughout the life of this family.

He then opened his long-worn cover, and found many photos in it. But for some reason, the first time he noticed precisely the photos of them were taken when he was a child. One of them is a complete picture of the whole family. Throughout his memory, that was the only best photo ever taken for this family. He could see his mother who was in the middle of his other sister, while his father who was closer to him. The truth is quite easy to remember. It was as if he wanted to show his pride there. He then observed it closely, then recalled his feelings in those times. In fact, he seemed to be able to feel the time that seemed to bring him back there. When he could feel the warm hands of his father that he put towards him. This is the best memory ever made between us.

He removed the photo from the album, along with other photos that involved him there, then put the rest into the closet. Before his attention then diverted to his father's clothes which were also neatly stored inside. One of them was the clothes he wore on the last night before he actually left. Even he could still imagine his trembling hand while pretending to play the television remote in his hand. Which actually felt so discouraging, because this was the only last sight when he saw her alive. The memory that returned suddenly made him unable to hold back his tears anymore. For some reason, those tears never stop. And throughout his memory, this was the greatest regret he ended up feeling for a lifetime.

He then brought all the things he needed before leaving again for welmina. The future makes him have to do painful things. On the plane, there was nothing else he could do but stare at the photo he had in his pocket. And he kept looking at her there, feeling the moment when this family was still a family. Because this was the only thing he needed to remember everything. Because after everything that happened, he knew he'd never come back.

In the end four weeks had passed since his father died, the flow of life made him set foot again in Welmina. Even though this time he already had a purpose in life that he wanted to fulfill immediately. And he felt he could start again with Sarah. Regarding his birthday gift that many times came too late. And by chance, if the gift he was referring to finally came.

And he never said it of course. Which he meant as a surprise. Maybe pass by once or twice for dinner. He was even excited to look forward to the opportunity. He didn't know why, but looking forward to this life was really some kind of obsession for him. He desperately wants to live life with her, wanting most of his time, his attention, which he wants more than anything else.

It may sound self-serving when Ryan expects a reply when he loves her, but how not? Isn't that what happens when someone loves? The time they spent together, however, would always be evidence of a very strong bind between them. Which made him confident in his choice. “But God, why can he do this.” Once upon a time, he whispered in his heart. Even he never expected that Sarah would repay him like this.

Right to hurt his heart and his feelings.