365 Days Towards Halal

47# Heart Expressions

Tasya was pensive with a glass of warm chocolate in her hand. Now, the woman seemed a little calm. He looked at the Queen sitting in front of him and tried to smile. He took a deep breath and placed the glass he held onto the table.

"I'm sorry, if I make a mess, it seems I should go" Tasya said.

"Hmmm, it's okay. Sit down first, let's talk."

Tasya looked at Queen with puffy eyes. Then, he sighed inexplicably a few times.

The atmosphere was quiet again, then suddenly Tasya began to sob again. The pitying Queen, moved to sit beside Tasya. He tried to calm the woman.

"Because I'm sorry..."

"It's not you who's wrong, it's my husband" Tasya said.

Queen is stunned, although she still has a heart with Antoni, hearing Tasya's speech makes the sense in Queen's heart slowly erased against Antoni.

"From then, until now, I never blamed you. Antoni always misses you. Always imagining you and always wanting to come back to you."

"But now I see he's getting crazy. He didn't think a bit about how my son and I felt. Okay, no need for my feelings, the feelings of the child, are enough for me. All this time I survived for the wholeness of our household and the happiness of our son. What actually?" I gave him love, but there was no price in his eyes." Tasya's story is long.

Queen was still silent hearing Tasya's story.

"You don't have to feel guilty. I know my husband's behavior. I saw everything, including...."

Tasya stopped her words.

"Include what?" Queen asked curiously.

”He comes to you every night and kisses you in the parking lot" Tasya said, smiling wryly.

Suddenly Queen felt very guilty, not to blame, Tasya was a very sane and good person. What if the Queen is dealing with a person who is not as strong as Tasya? There is a possibility that he is the one who is blamed, in the curse and predicate of the actor embedded in him and his good name.

"I saw it, which means I know you rejected it. Don't feel guilty." Connect Tasya.

Queen heaved a sigh of relief, then she grabbed Tasya's hand and clasped it tightly.

"Tasya, what do you want? Do I have to get out of your lives. Disappear or something?" Ask Queen.

Tasya looked at Queen carefully, then she shook her head.

"No, go to the end of the world, hide wherever, if his heart is for you, his ego will not be defeated. You don't have to go from the selfishness of others. You just stay here and I beg you, have mercy on my son" Tasya said as he sobbed to remember his only child.

The queen held back her cries. Tasya's language is so wise. Tasya tells Queen to keep rejecting Antoni in an extraordinary way. Not many women are capable of such a thing to a woman who has seized the heart and mind of her husband.

"Tasya, you're a good person, thank you," Queen said with a choked end to her voice.

Tasya smiled and returned Queen's hand.

"I want to be your friend Queen. Please accept that I become your friend. All this time I really felt alone. Talking to our parents was impossible. I didn't have any friends after I quit my job. I'm also the kind of person who doesn't trust easily. But, with you, I feel that trust is growing, without having to take the trouble to cultivate it.

Queen stared at the look in the eyes of the tough and mighty sweet lady. Then, he smiled and hugged Tasya tightly.

...

Tonight Queen is sitting alone on her porch. His eyes were fixed on a single star twinkling in the sky. Tasya's face continues to be reflected in his eye pelup. He really admired that woman. Queen felt, if she were Tasya, she might not be able to behave like that woman.

Mother appeared from inside the house, carrying a plate of toast and two glasses of warm sweet tea. Then, put it on the table. Mother looked at the pensive Queen. Mother understood the difficulties that Queen was facing. Because since Queen came home from the boutique earlier, Queen has been talking about the incident at the boutique, between herself, Antoni and Antoni's wife.

"Antoni is lucky to have Tasya," Mother's greeting broke Queen's daydreams about Tasya and Antoni.

"Tasya is an angel without wings, there are not many great women like him" Mother said again.

Queen looked at Mother carefully.

"And you, you are a good woman. Who did not want to repeat the same mistake," Mother's voice choked when saying that sentence.

"And Mother salutes you. At least, Mommy gave birth to a classy and great woman. Not like Mother in the past."

Mommy's eyes began to glaze over, remembering himself in a young age who was fooled by the sweet words of Queen's biological father who at that time already had a wife and children.

"That is the purpose of Mother, why mother does not know herself and is not ashamed to talk about the dark period of mother with Mother's children. To let you know, playing around with life is bad. A good name on the stake, a child who will bear shame."

Mother looked at Queen with tears falling on her cheeks.

"Yes..." Queen started to feel sad when she saw Mother crying.

"I'm sorry Mother is Queen. Your childhood is not happy, you continue to be bullied by people who do not like Mother. It's all Mother's fault. Mother is very grateful, if all this time you do not hate Mother. In fact, Mother is one of the people who make you suffer."

"Mother, don't talk like that..." Queen cries at the mother's apology.

"Mother never regrets your presence. What Mother regrets is the Mother's own stupidity."

"Bun's life journey, Queen sure Mother is a good person. Mother was only blind at that time, because of love. Basically, good people are still good and will mate with good people like Dad. Another good proof of Mother is, Mother is able to take care of Queen and raise Queen, until Queen becomes like this."

Mother looked at Queen and wiped away the tears on her daughter's cheeks. Then, he kissed Queen's forehead gently.

"You know, you were sent by God to change Mother's dark life for the better. Because of you, all the bad Mother left behind. Because of you, ****, the anger, the grudge is gone. All because of you."

"Maintaining you since in the womb, has become the decision of Mother. Whatever people want to say. Because Mother knows, even though Mother is guilty, God will surely forgive and lead the life of Mother to be better, by giving a little angel to Mother, namely you."

"Mother loves you Queen, you angel of goodness to Mother. Everything changes after you are present. You are a precious treasure to Mother as well as your sister and Father. Continue to be a precious woman. Only you can make your life better or end badly. And don't let it end badly. Mother believes that."

Queen's laying her head on Mother's chest. Then she kissed her mother's hand lovingly.

"Maybe Mother thinks Mother is a bad example for me, but not with me Bun. For me, Mother is the best example of all the life experiences I have ever lived. Because Mother, I am able to take care of myself. Because Mother, I live well, because Mother, I can feel the touch of an angel from heaven. Mother of everything, Queen loves and loves Mother" Queen said.

Mother cried touched. He hugged the Queen tightly.

"Thank you my son, my heart..." Whisper Mother.