Waiting for the Light to Return
Chapter 8 - Towards the Meeting
Waiting tones filled my listening room earlier.
Be irritated every few seconds.
“Si Nadien where the hell, not yet arrived or why? Cook this long from Thunder to Rancamanyar?”
After the umpteenth time I monologued like that, there was finally an answer from across the network.
“Halo?”
I directly flocked it.
“Crazy you, Dien. Driving 10 km/h from earlier or what the hell? Long time no call lift-up!”
“Yeah, patience dong, Wi. I took a shower first. What the hell is it? How emotional is that?”
I changed my comfortable position on the sofa before answering.
“Tomorrow you free no? Accompany me to eat to Dago? 12 Hours, lunch pass.”
Nadien laughing.
“Today is not quite the same me, Wi? Still missing? ‘Kan later Monday also meet again.”
I can't wait, I said quickly.
“Not, no. I was invited to meet Andra. Cook me alone? Accompany me dong.”
A few seconds passed, Nadien did not answer.
I called him back.
“Woy, Dien? Still in there? Out of your pulse?”
Slowly, he answered.
“Seriously he's asking to meet, Wi? And you want to? Why?”
I breathe and tell the truth.
“She named Windra, Dien. Said Windra tipped her regards.”
Shut up again, and Nadien said.
“Personal advice, Wi? Don’t. Don't meet Andra.”
I'm astonished.
“Lho, didn't you just tease me about meeting Andra?”
Nadien clucking.
“It was joking, Wi. Golly, deh. Don't take it seriously. This is what you should take seriously. Outsider, you're Windra's wife, Wi. They know Windra is only on long service abroad. I don't want to have any vague gossip about you.”
I didn't answer right away.
Of course I know the risks, but the temptation to hear Windra from her best friend is too great for me.
As if I could read my heart, Nadien continued.
“I know for sure you are tempted to know what Windra is doing right now. But not in this way, Wi. You’ll hurt yourself.”
I beg.
“Then I asked for your help, Dien. If you have ‘kan safe, people will not talk about anything. Want ya?”
Nadien breathed.
“Sorry, but tomorrow I promise to pick up Kalyha and play with her, Wi. I can't.”
My disappointment was so great that it was voiced in complaint.
Trying to calm down, Nadien ended with a sentence.
“Okay, this is it. You try to ask two more people for help, Wi. If no one can, it means fixed you have to cancel meeting Andra. Promise huh? If it's about Windra, then we can take care of it. Let's focus on this first. I'm serious, Wi. Please hear, yes?”
...
Two guys.
Wh who? Sari and Nia from long ago also never entered into my closest circle.
I tried Andhara.
“Halo, Mbak?”
“Halo, Dhar. You haven't slept?”
Andhara replied with a heavy voice.
“I just woke up, Brother. What's up?”
Suddenly annoyed, I scolded him.
“But woke up last night? Where are you from, Dhar?”
Andhara yawned before answering.
“Not from anywhere, Brother. Last night we stayed up because there was a sudden e-mail from the company. What's up, Ma'am?”
“Ohh, I see. I'm sorry that you were angry. Mm, Dhar, are you empty tomorrow at 12 noon? Eat at Dago or want?”
Andhara thought for a moment.
“Sunday yes, Ma'am? It doesn't seem like anything..”
My heart is beating fast.
“Eh”, Andhara said.
Heart stopped.
“Why, Dhar?”, my question.
His apology was heard from across the street.
“Sorry, sorry, Ma'am. It turns out I have an appointment tomorrow with my high school friends. Want reunian.”
I tried to beg.
“Where's his residence, Dhar? Just move to Dago want ya?”
Still apologizing, he said.
“Can't, Ma'am. I'm not the model. It is located in Burangrang. Sorry, ma'am. Next time I make time for Mommy, deh.”
...
Andhara could not.
Who's the rest of the people? Did I just take Mbok Jem?
...
“Mbakyu!”
I laugh.
“La, how many times have I said, just call Brother. Doesn't match the face of the crossbreed you say Mbakyu, know.”
What I call my last hope is the sea. One of my closest English teachers and juniors at school, her fiance Josh.
He laughed.
“I'm used to it anyway. What's up, Ma'am? Tumben phone night-night?”
I swallowed spit. Pray in your heart that the Sea will not refuse.
“La, tomorrow afternoon at 12am you are empty no? Eat at Dago yuk, accompany Mbak.”
The sea thought for a moment.
“Jam 12 yes, Ma'am? Josh was singing in church until 12 o'clock anyway.”
I answered quickly.
“Take his Josh. We eat together. Buy deh.”
Sea answered.
“I asked Josh first yes, Ma'am. Usually go home the church he likes tiredness, so do not want to go anywhere.”
I try to keep my tone pleasant.
“Duh, ‘kan this want to eat too, La. Tell him to calm down, Mbak won't ask him to be the MC kok.”
Sea laughing.
“Iya, Ma'am. I'll call you via chat, yes.”
...
Fingers crossed, I walked back and forth in the living room.
I'd love to hear about Windra.
I mean, what is he doing? What did he do to sacrifice his wife?
Are there really other women? Was this other woman he had met from before all this happened?
Is it true that he's fed up and blames me for Tia's departure?
I need to know this.
I can't live quietly without getting an answer to all this.
Can't bear to not check my phone every few seconds, I muttered alone.
“Please, please, La. Can dong, can dong. Please, Josh.”
One new message on Whatsapp comes in from the Sea.
Taking a deep breath, I opened the new chat.
English Sea
online
Can, Ma. Josh said he just happened to want to meet with Ma'am. Where's the Dago, Ma'am? We meet there or what? 21.20
Cheering inwardly, I hurriedly replied.
Just pick it up at your church, okay? Where's the address? 21.20
The sea returned.
Oho! Just go to worship, Mother! We will leave together. In Asia Africa his church, Ma'am. I will share loc. 21.21
I haven't set foot in a place of worship for a long time, but I don't care.
The important thing is that I'm going to hear about my husband.
You don’t want to tell me, Win? Fine.
I'll find out for myself what you're hiding from me.
***
There are moments when time feels so fast.
When I accompanied Tia who was only 18 months old playing Play-doh in the living room, made various funny shapes such as balls and balls that were bigger from morning to afternoon.
When I was moved to see Tia try her TK uniform and send her picture to Windra along with the message “Your little princess has grown so big. It feels like just yesterday we changed his diaper yeah.”
When I taught little Tia to read the book “My Little Bear” and was proud to hear her say the word ‘Love’ perfectly, then surprised to see the sky outside the window that had darkened.
Well, this was not one of them.
2 Hours in the church building next to the Sea and following the service was excruciating for me. Long time.
Because what filled my mind was just what I was about to hear from Andra a few minutes from now.
So after the service was over and the people started to leave, I whispered to the sea.
“La, done ‘kan? Yuk go.”
The sea smiled patiently.
“Already, Mbak. Ma'am just go down and wait in the car, yes, then me and Josh will follow. He wants to change clothes first. Sweat once about.”
I smiled back and nodded.
Walking away from the row of seats to the elevator, I tried to suppress the memories that tried to arise.
Memories of when I accompanied Windra playing futsal with his college friends on Sundays many years ago.
Memories of when I, like the Sea at the moment, rubbed the sweat on the forehead of the man we loved. With great pride in seeing the hard work they have done.
***
“But you were so cool, Josh. I have to give you that.”
Josh laughed from behind the wheel.
“Thank you, Ma’am. For the compliment and the ride.”
I asked Josh to drive. I fear that my weakness in remembering the path will waste precious time.
And since Josh didn't bring the car that day, the three of us left in my car.
The sea looks out from the front passenger seat.
“But, Mbak. This ‘kan your car. How come Josh and I are ahead anyway?”
I laugh.
“Then how? The one in front? You're jealous no?”
Josh blathering.
“I've been commonly envied by the Sea, Ma’am. Please dong, Ma’am, say something nice about me let the Sea not be jealous anymore.”
The sea complained to me.
“Yes how am I not jealous try, Ma'am? This singer-songwriter partner at the wedding, already know he is engaged to still dare to say hello to the familiar. Wear hold hands of all. You want it again too. Weird.”
I chuckle.
“Already, already, do not fight in my car dong. La, Josh is loyal. Maybe it was because of the professionals. Must maintain the mood of his singing partner, ‘kan.”
Josh said triumphantly.
“Tuh ‘kan..!”
I cut immediately.
“But Josh, you also have to keep the feeling of Sea dong. How would you feel if your position was reversed? The sea that was familiarly accosted by other men? You're angry too ‘kan?”
The sea replied triumphantly.
“Tuh hear what Mbak Dewi said!”
I try to reconcile with advice.
“Remember, you guys are getting married. Start practicing thinking about your partner's feelings more than your own. Each other should give priority to each other. Yes?”
Simultaneously and unison they answered.
“Siap, Ma’am Goddess!”
I laughed in expression, I cried in my heart.
Because of my advice that's what failed to happen in my marriage.
Life is not as beautiful as the words of Mario Teguh, yes.
“Eh, Ma'am. I'm curious. Why suddenly invite us to eat together anyway?”, asked the Sea suddenly.
I racked my brain looking for excuses, but didn't get one.
I finally gave you the truth, or some of it.
“Yes, Ma'am was invited to meet by his best friend Mas Windra. The male. Strange dong if Mbak eat alone with other men. So Ma'am take you guys, it's okay, ‘kan?”
Josh answered.
“It's okay, Ma’am. So Mr Windra hasn't come home from abroad, huh?”
I tried to smile.
“Numbered, Josh.”
Before they started wondering about Windra, I immediately shifted the issue.
“Oh yes, Josh. Said the Sea yesterday You want to meet me? What's up?”
Josh recalled for a moment before replying.
“Oh, the. That's Ma’am, about Wally the 8D kid. Already not logged 6 times ‘kan. I called her parents a few times, so I went to her house yesterday. Turns out his parents just divorced, Ma’am. So she now lives with her mother. Her father went.”
Josh looked at me through the middle spy.
“What will Monday Ma’am be able to visit his house? I'm less relatable with these Mothers, Ma’am. Who knew Ma’am could motivate so.”
I laugh.
“Less relative with mothers but get a lot of cake from young Moms yes, Josh.”
Sea gasp.
“Kue? Young mama? What cake is this?”
Josh was glaring at his girlfriend.
“Honey, it's nothing. From parents of students. Not much, just two parents. That's also I refuse because I can't ‘kan. Ma’am Goddess sih ah, the Sea so angry nih.”
I laughed watching their little argument.
While once again trying to suppress the envy that arises from the heart.
Because I want to be in the sea position.
Arguing and nagging the man we love, from his side.
...
I held back tears with all my might and tried to turn my attention to something else.
Fortunately it is not too difficult, because the car has entered the Dago Pakar area.
I stood up and interrupted their debate.
“Guys, we’re almost there.”
The two friends of my trip were stopped and on standby for a moment.
I pored over the street with my eyes while searching for the name of the restaurant we were heading to.
Mumbling, “Peaky Hills, Peaky Hills. You've seen, La?”
The sea did the same and answered.
“Not yet, Mbak. Soon as... Uh! That one!”
Suddenly the three of us looked at a magnificent wooden restaurant that stood on the ramp Dago.
I strengthen my heart.
I'll hear some news about Windra soon.
I have to be ready.
