Waiting for the Light to Return
Pieces-Pieces
Rawindra
“Night, Dok”, sapanya friendly.
I smiled faintly answering.
“I no longer practice here, Ma'am. Don't call ‘Dok’ lah.”
The boys at the coffee counter were laughing.
“Create me once a doctor remains a doctor. The usual, Doc?”
I gave up on losing this insignificant debate and nodded.
Receiving wordless orders from me, he immediately struggled with the cash register machine.
“Hot Caramel Machiato 50% Sugar. Everything is Rp 30,000,-, Doc. Cash or debit?”
I reached into the wallet and handed him three pieces of ten thousand money.
The counters accepted it and smiled.
“Thank you, Doc. I'll call you later if it's already yes.”
I nodded, put the wallet back in my pocket, and turned around.
But just as my body turned around, he followed with a question.
“Mother how, Doc? Already improved?”
Steady, I looked smiling.
“Thank God, Ma'am. Pray yes.”
...
Mercifully.
Yeah, that's the right word.
It's the sixth night my goddess has been admitted to the hospital.
After a wonderful first night (due to our reconciliation), the following nights were easy for us.
Especially for me.
The first good news, the team of doctors from Dallas and Bandung have agreed to form a kind of joint team to deal with Dewi.
And of course, who can blame them?
My goddess is an extraordinarily rare case.
San Filippo sufferers who can survive to the age of 30?
You will never get a chance like this.
And therefore I am grateful, because I am confident that this joint team will not stop until the Goddess is fully healed.
The next good news, the Indonesian team chaired by dr. Rahmadi diligently monitor and check the condition of the Goddess. Three times, even four times a day.
And you know what? All the check results came up good!
I don't want to bore anyone with the details of the substance content tests in the brain that they measure, anyway the results are encouraging.
My spirit is soaring because the Dallas team will arrive tomorrow.
With dr. Lauryn-Anne herself in the team, honestly, what could go wrong?
One reconciliation and two great glad tidings.
Of course my days with him were easy and magical.
“Babe, sorry. Please bring me my smartphone, dong.”
My eyes lifted for a moment from the medical journal in front and looked at him in despair.
“Dewi darling. How many times do I have to talk? For Parents’ Day, Josh has taken care of. ‘Kan just this afternoon he visited and conveyed it.”
The goddess stared back at me with her puppy eyes.
Damn, she’s so cute.
“Not that, Babe. I just want to look at Instagram. I'm bored.”
Breathing out, I threatened.
“If until I see you in contact with the school.”.
Goddesses laughing.
“Iya, yes. I ‘kan promised to be a good patient. So please get me yes, Mr. Doctor Ganteng.”
With a smile on my back I got up from my seat, took the Dewi smartphone from the coffee table on the side of the room, and handed it over.
“Half an hour and that’s it. Okay?”
She smiled sweetly as she said.
“Iya, Babe. Ready.”
I kissed her cheek.
“Well, so dong. So patients don't ngeyel.”
Goddesses laughing.
It was our second day in the hospital.
It was a busy day for him.
Nadiena's visit in the morning, my parents' and Dewi's visit in the afternoon, then her co-worker's visit in the afternoon.
That's why I didn't blame him when I found him asleep in a sitting position cross-legged, as I returned from the bathroom.
Gently, I took the smartphone from his hand and put him to sleep.
“Babe, I want it dong”, he said as he pointed at the jam in my hand.
I stopped in my activity smearing strawberry jam on my wheat bread and laughing in disbelief.
“You want this, Babe? Strawberry jam? Not wrong? You ‘kan do not like strawberry?”
Goddess smiled innocently.
“Well, I don't know why either, Babe. It feels like it.”
I shrugged and handed over the bread I had made to her while flirting.
“Don't you crave, Babe. But strangely, I ‘kan just imagined it with you, why is it pregnant again anyway? Maybe because I imagined it intense ya.”
The goddess laughed out loud.
“Duh, Windra! You're it... There's-there's the hell.”
I'm laughing too.
That's the third day.
No need to explain more about how happy we are.
This feels like catching up with the lost time.
It was like catching up from a year I hadn't missed with him.
Only me, her and our happiness.
For too long we haven't felt this.
“Doctor Rawindra, coffee!”
Hearing the call, I got up and moved.
Smile at yourself while walking.
Damn, just a moment did not meet the Goddess it feels like it has missed this way.
This is even more than what I felt when I first fell in love with her.
It feels like falling in love again, and deeper than ever.
With the flowers filling my mind, I picked up the coffee and thanked him.
Immediately rushed towards the elevator to the Goddess' room.
Next to the hand carefully grasping the hot coffee and next to pressing the button, I waited impatiently as the floor marker descended slowly.
Barely aware of the black long-haired beautiful woman in hospital clothes in the corner of the eye.
Walk down the stairs, step into the hospital lobby.
From the corner of my eye, I drew attention until I looked.
As if one had forgotten a memory, the woman walked in confusion until she arrived at the receptionist.
A chill ran along my back when I heard him say from across the room.
“Suster, the room where Tia is treated where, yes?”
Lemas, coffee in the hand glides plunging without awareness.
Panicked, I ran across the lobby as fast as I could.
His words sounded increasingly clear as he answered the receptionist's confusion.
Arriving at the side, I immediately grabbed his arm.
“Goddess? What are you doing here? Let me take you to your room.”
For the sake of feeling my touch, he turned his head and looked at me with a gaze that I could never forget.
The woman I love is half dead.
The woman I loved until I died.
He looked at me in shock and said.
“Lho, Father who?”
***
Pondar mandir, pondar mandir, pondar mandir.
Can't help but peek into the ICU room every few steps.
You cannot be silent without being devoured by dark horrors.
Wh why? What does this mean?
Aren't the test results all good?
Isn't all vital conditions very good indicators?
Why did this episode happen again?
Why is the condition of the Goddess so bad?
As bad as my wife was, she was never this careless.
To my knowledge, even in the most nadir incident, the eyes of the Goddess had never looked at me like before.
When he forgets the road or forgets the name of the person.
Even when he forgot to pick up Tia.
The eyes of the Goddess always spoke.
I always found the Goddess I knew from the radiance of her eyes.
But earlier... Oh my...
“Mas Windra!”
I looked over and found Andhara running over.
Panicking was incredible, he immediately asked.
“Mbak Goddess how?”
Jemari was still trembling, I tried to convey what happened as calmly as possible.
Hearing my explanation, Andhara lost energy and fell down.
A necklace in the mind.
I asked.
“Dad and Mom tag along, Dhar?”
Andhara.
“I don't want to make them worry. They know Mother Goddess is fine. Let them calm down, Mas.”
I'm nodding.
The right decision.
Because I can't bear to think about what would happen if the Goddess woke up and didn't recognize her own Father and Mother.
Not knowing what to do, I dropped myself in the chair.
Just across from Andhara.
I don't know how long the seconds had run with silence as the atmosphere when suddenly Andhara said.
“How long was the inspection, Mas? What are they doing inside?”
I massaged my face before answering.
“So being given a sedative. Now maybe the Indonesian team of doctors is on Facetime with the Dallas team of doctors. Discuss the condition of Mbak Dewi.”
Fingers are linked and both elbows are resting on the knees, Andhara is agitated.
Not at all satisfied with my answer.
“This team from Dallas is really a great team ‘kan, Mas? I mean, they can definitely cure Mbak Dewi ‘kan? In the past, we also used to forget this, but can live to the age of twilight, Mas.”
I'm trying to explain.
“Those who do not suffer from San Filippo, Dhar. Your mother suffered from ordinary dementia. But sometimes genetic dementia can turn out to be... Like this..”
My voice choked and was getting lost at the end of the sentence.
Perhaps Andhara did not hear it, for he said.
“I don't understand, Mas. About ordinary dementia, San Filippo, what I ask, this team of doctors is really great ‘kan? They can definitely cure Mbak Dewi ‘kan?”
I stared at my sister-in-law's face.
Trying to convey my answer as diplomatically as possible.
“Dhar, we humans can only strive. But the matter of being healed or not, all in the hands of God.”
Andhara.
He buried his face into the arms of both palms.
Said with a muffled voice.
“She doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve this at all.”
I let out a breath.
Rise up, I approached and touched her shoulder gently.
“Nobody desires this, Dhar. All we can do now is pray.”
Suddenly, Andhara shook my touch and got up.
His eyes looked at me sharply, as well as his words.
“’Kita’, Mas? Sorry, yes, Mom. Don't even think about uniting us on the same side. For all that I care, Madam Dewi would not be this drop if Mas did not leave it a year ago. Right after Tia died!”
I'm stunned.
Andhara is not finished.
“For all that I care, Mother Goddess may indeed be sick. But what makes it this way is not the disease, Mas.”
He pointed at my face and hissed spicyly.
“Mas cause.”
...
As soon as he said so, Andhara stepped past me.
“I want to get wind. But remember what I said, Mom. If there is anything with Mother Goddess. Forever I'll assume Mas is responsible.”
Right at the Andhara point of speech, the door of the room opened.
We both looked, dr. Rahmadi is there.
dr. Rahmadi greeted Andhara and called me in one sentence.
“Goodnight (he nodded at Andhara). Win, we need to talk. Come to my office, yes.”
Feels helpless in every fiber of the body, I can't answer.
Andhara asked quickly.
“What's up, Doc? My sister is okay, ‘kan?”
dr. Rahmadi is still trying to direct her words to me.
“Maybe it's better if we talk privately in a closed room.”
Andhara.
“I'm his closest family, Doc. I have the right to know what happened!”
Easy, dr. Rahmadi.
Empty, the answer my lips gave me and I looked at him.
He finally gave up.
“Alright, please sit down first.”
The three of us sat down.
dr. Rahmadi on the furthest side, followed Andhara, and I.
Starting with the breath, dr. Rahmadi said slowly and heavily.
“Dewi's condition deteriorates. The damage to his network has expanded faster than we thought.”
Staring at Andhara and I alternately, there was a pause for a long time before he finished.
“We are worried that the therapy we are planning will not have time or be able to recover it.”
...
Fall off.
Crushed.
In pieces.
