Waiting for the Light to Return
Chapter 13 - Rawindra and the Goddess (2)
Goddesses
Did you know that the Great Barrier Reef in Australia is the only living thing that can be seen from space?
I myself even just found out that The Great Barrier Reef is a living creature, I thought it was a collection of rocks.
Surely I was confused with The Twelve Apostles, ‘kan together in Australia, yes.
Oh yes, speaking of Australia, did you know that 80% of animals in Australia are endemic animals that no longer exist elsewhere?
Cool, huh?
And even more amazing, did you know that I got all these facts at 3 am?
Sitting with knees touching my chin and blanket as my tube in the corner of the sofa in the middle room.
With the wall clock ticking incessantly, the air of the room grew colder, and the regular roar of Rawindra in our room.
...
Damn, Win.
You came, sat down, smiled, and prepared my towels and clothes.
Now you sleep soundly in our beds, with the pose of hugging bolsters that you always do.
How could you do all these to me and act like nothing has changed between us?
How could you possibly be so ordinary after all that has happened between us?
No words like, “Hai, Babe. Sorry I was gone all this time. Actually, I've been going to Dallas all along. Sorry I didn't tell you all this time because.”.
Or, “Hai, Honey. How are you doing? Oh, my God, you look so much more beautiful. I'm sorry I went without news all this time. Yuk sat here. I'll explain everything.”
But instant, after parking my car right next to his Jeep, he got down and smiled.
Stroked my hair and kissed my forehead before saying, “You've eaten yet, Wi? Or take a shower? I have your clothes and towels ready, yes.”
Then, hypnotized, I followed him into the house.
Watching her get into the bathroom, checking the water, then grabbing and hanging my towel ready.
Turn around and still smile.
“The water is warm. Shower before too night huh, Wi.”
I went into the bathroom and found my pajamas had been neatly draped over the towel holder, as before.
After bathing and getting dressed, I went out and walked to our front room.
Looking up, I found Windra sitting on the edge of the bed. Waiting for me.
“Have the bath? Ready to sleep, Wi?”
Stunned and lost for words, I gulped and regained consciousness.
Smiling, I said.
“Try first. There's still work.”
He nodded.
“I slept first yes. You don't sleep night-night.”
As soon as his back touched the bed, he stretched his body and fell asleep for a moment.
Exactly like before.
And from then until now, I was here.
Still don't know what to feel and think.
Still don't know how to.
Rawindra
As a doctor, I was trained not to sleep too well.
Well, not trained anyway, rather forced and then accustomed.
Because for some reason, emergency cases in hospitals that almost 75% occur in the early hours of the day like this.
What's the connection between late hours and emergency illness, I don't know. Perhaps this could be the title of the thesis for prospective doctors in the future.
But right now, I can't sleep for any other reason.
The reason I heard from Mbok Jem when Dewi was bathing.
“Mbok?”
Still timid, Mbok Jem replied slowly.
“Ya, Sir?”
I cleared my throat, trying to make this question as casual as possible.
“Mother's condition as long as I go how is it? What is regular eating? Sleep regularly?”
Mbok Jem did not dare to look at me. His face bowed and his fingers clutched, for a long time he did not answer.
I approached and repeated my question.
“Mbok, how was my wife when I left? Is it okay?”
Sipping his saliva, he finally said slowly.
“Mother... Healthy mother, Mr.”
I touched Mbok Jem's shoulder as carefully as possible.
“Mbok, please Mbok be honest with me. I know I must have let everyone down with what I did, but..”.
I took a deep breath and continued.
“But I want to fix everything starting today. Help me yes, Mbok. Want ‘kan?”
Muttering for a few seconds, he finally expressed his heart.
Glassy eyes, Mbok Jem told me.
“Mother rarely sleeps, sir. Mother rarely sleeps. I also don't want to sleep in my room, Mom and Dad. All this time... All this time I slept in her room Dik Tia.”
A big part of my heart felt like it was falling into a bottomless pit.
Mbok Jem is not finished.
“Mom ate very little too, sir. And often I go hours and nights. Never said where to go or with whom. And... And..”
Tears were completely flowing down his face.
“Every night Mom cries, Sir.”
My whole body feels weak.
Oh, my God, how?
What do I do to fix all this?
...
Take a look at her, Win.
Just take a look at her.
Your wife, Win.
Now sitting curled up alone in the far away night like this.
Crying every night, a year and a full month.
Please tell me what to do, God.
Because I don't know at all.
Not knowing at all.
Goddesses
“Again, Babe.”
Her warm kiss landed on my crown.
Stretching out my hands, I found her cheeks and a short cauldron.
“August, Darling. How did you wake up?”
His half-conscious heavy voice replied as he walked towards the coffee maker.
“Iya nih, I also do not know why suddenly woke up.”
Reflexes, I put the book in hand with the intention of replacing its position behind the coffee maker.
I mean, Windra just got home at 2 am from the hospital and it's only 6:20 am.
Cook now he has to make his own coffee? What kind of wife am I?
But I just got up from the sofa, he hurriedly prevented me.
“Sit, Babe.”
I insisted I didn't hear and stood up.
“You should just sit down, honey. You just slept 4 hours.”
He raised his face with a smile.
“I'm fine, Babe. Later you leave also I sleep again.”
I cringed in wonder.
“Lha, who do you keep making that coffee for?”
I kept watching and realized the answer even without him answering.
Three parts of coffee consisting of espresso, milk, and foam?
Immediately I approached and held his hand.
“Darling, why did you make coffee for me? I ‘kan easily later can buy on the road. You are the one who needs.”
Still smiling, he silenced me with a friendly kiss.
“As long as I can, I will do my best for you. Including these little things like this.”
Still staring lovingly, he thrust out his homemade cappuccino.
I received the coffee from his hand and whispered.
“You do realize that you’re getting lucky tonight, don’t you?”
He whispered back.
“Kok tonne? Just now, Babe. Late for a while is okay, ‘kan?”
And we were crazy too.
Cappuccino was forgotten, while we continued to cling and make love on the couch.
I don't even care how late I am.
I love this guy. I love him.
The man who always tries to pay attention and serve me no matter how tired or busy he is.
...
Because it awoke to see the white cup reflecting the aroma of coffee next to my reading book, I was getting more and more ungodly.
Part of me wanted to inhale the cappuccino and then hug Windra who was busy working out in the backyard.
Kissing her cheeks and whispering such temptation back then.
But another part of me wanted to throw the cup in pieces, along with the maker.
Killing the memories and parts of me that still love him to the fullest.
Unable to stand two poles opposite like that, I finally did the wisest thing.
I ignored him completely and took the phone from near my head.
Nadien
online
Dien, today I'm taking refuge in your house all day all right? 07.13
...
...
Nadien
online
Refuge why? Thunder flooded, Neng? 0714
Nadien
online
I’ll tell you when I get there. 0714
Nadien
online
Okay, Wi. What time do you want to be here? 0714
I got up, put down the blankets, and walked to the bathroom, replying.
Now, Dien. 0715
