Waiting for the Light to Return
Chapter 11 - Arrival and Return
From the past, there were many people who frowned in wonder if I expressed my love for mathematics.
I understand anyway, because the image of mathematics as a killer subject was ingrained by generations from the time of Majapahit (lebay, Wi).
Mathematics is said to be more difficult to understand than language.
Mathematics is said to be more difficult to do than language.
But even so, I still like math compared to other subjects such as language for example.
Whys? For one simple reason.
Words can lie, but numbers do not.
Confused, huh? Let me give you some examples.
The first example, Indri. My men at Student Affairs.
Fighting with his girlfriend because the stupid man felt Indri was too concerned about his job.
I think it is logical that Indri attach importance to his work.
Didn't believe? Let’s check the numbers.
Play, eat, and go to the movies on Saturday night together it spent Rp 500,000,- (because his girlfriend Indri is still unemployed). While working focused in school, he can get additional Rp 500,000,- from project vacations.
If you know, the conclusion is easy.
Just break up her boyfriend, finish ‘, right?
But the Indri willingly submit to apologize for words like, “You do not love me, yes?”
I am confused as to who is stupid in this case.
Second example, Cindy. My other men again.
Expect to be upset at the male crocodile mombal, but it is clearly visible from the figures data.
From 24 hours minus 8 hours of sleep, the man only contacted him for 20 minutes per day and after that was gone.
If I were him, I would have forgotten about people like that.
But darling, she was willing to be persuaded by her sweet seduction words.
Or like the students who tried to convince me that they had prepared themselves for a repetition, even though the value was clearly listed below the standard.
See?
In this deceitful world, words can’t be trusted.
Only numbers give you assurance and certainty.
...
So what do these numbers mean?
30.
The number of days I've spent since I found out about Rawindra's betrayal.
30.
The number of nights I spent weeping and being destroyed by Rawindra.
5.
The number of appointments I've made with Andra since we met in Abalone.
5.
The number of dates I've been through with him since the meeting in Abalone.
1.
The number of words from the answer I finally gave to Andra's question that he asked over and over again.
“Shall we do it, Wi?”
“Ya.”
...
What do I think when I answer? I don't know.
I don't even know what I'm feeling right now.
I don't know what I was expecting when I received Andra's hand in the movie theater.
I didn't know what I wanted as I let him stretch out his hand and slip my bang behind my ear.
I don't know shit.
Until now I walk side by side with him on Cihampelas Walk, in another weekend edition.
Down store by booth. Hand in hand.
I still don't know.
This heart still feels too painful to be able to feel anymore.
It’s just like living someone else’s life.
Like drifting without control and without purpose.
“Wi, while waiting for the movie, we eat first yuk. What do you want to eat?”
I looked up and looked at him.
Looked at this man who was smiling kindly at me.
I tried to return her smile.
“Serah.”
Andra thought for a moment.
“You like Thai cuisine? I why suddenly want Raa Cha huh?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Bby.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me gently towards the restaurant he wanted to go to.
Oh yeah, speaking of numbers, there's one more number that I have to give you meaning.
0.
The number of people closest to me who know what I've been doing for the past month.
***
“You add more crab ball, Wi?”
I looked up and smiled thinly.
“No, Dra. Already full.”
He smiled mischievously and dipped two unlicensed crab balls into my small cauldron.
“Let's fat a little, Wi.”
I laughed without feeling.
And unconsciously I said.
“Is it because I'm too skinny huh, so Windra prefers that woman?”
The silence fell like a blanket on the atmosphere of our table.
Andra put down the chopsticks and leaned her body close.
“Why do you ask that?”
I nodded and shook weakly.
“Nothing. Sorry I said without thinking. Continue eating only.”
Damnit.
Andra sighed.
“Wi, stop talking so. If anything burdens your mind, yes just told.”
I looked at her from behind teary eyes.
Biting my lips, I tried to control my self-defense.
Andra remained silent for a while, then extended a hand.
Removing tears in the corner of my eye.
“I know you must have been hurt, Wi. But this isn't all your fault. It's not your flaws that make Windra that way. Precisely the lack of Windra is the cause.”
I was stunned and silent.
Andra smile.
“His lack to see how beautiful and amazing the wife he had. That's what makes it so.”
...
I can't take it anymore.
***
“Dra, sorry yes.”
Andra laughed from beside me.
“Sorry why, Wi?”
I answered slowly.
“Yes because we don't watch movies. Though you have been waiting for this movie ‘kan?”
Andra's laughter is getting louder.
“Halah, Wi. The film also has a blu-ray version. I'll fill out the hard disk later. I'm happy tonight.”
I cringed in wonder.
“Happy why?”
Andra tightened her grip on me.
Looking up, he gave me a loving look.
“Because you finally want to also use ‘aku-you’ on me. After the sixth date I finally made it too.”
I'm getting confused.
“Indeed what was I wearing before?”
Andra turned the eyeball in disbelief.
“The acid is unconscious anyway? You never use ‘aku’, always skip subject. And if you call me, always wear it ‘kau’.”
I blushed in shame.
“Sorry yes, Dra. Consumpted..”
Andra took off her grip and hugged my waist.
“It's okay, Wi. What matters now ‘kan is not so.”
...
I haven't gotten this from a man in a long time.
Pleased, wanted, loved.
The way Andra held my hand and looked at me as she spoke, was all the same as the way Windra used to be.
When we were still Windra and the happy Goddess.
Windra and Goddess are the ideals of all couples.
“Eh, Wi. That's your phone vibrating continuously from earlier. There's a phone like.”
I woke up from the daydream.
My phone was deliberately put in a pocket in a handbag instead of in the pocket of clothes when I was with Andra.
I don't want anyone to know and not be tempted to tell anyone.
Andra let go of her hug and smiled.
“Deleased, Wi. Who knows, Istana Negara would like to ask you to be the Minister of Education and Culture.”
I laughed while taking my phone.
“What the hell, Dra.”
The soon-to-be-lost laughter saw a flashing name calling out to me through the network.
Andhara.
What's up, huh?
Is he suspicious because I've been refusing all of his calls lately?
Is he at the mall and seeing me with Andra?
What's... Am I being too paranoid, right?
“Halo, Dhar?”
His regretful voice immediately greeted the ears.
“For a long time pick up the phone, Ma'am. Her sister is in Indonesia where she was rejected and silenced.”
I laugh.
“Iya, yes. Sorry, Dhar. Mbak was on the road.”
I gave Andra voiceless eye and lip signals.
Ask permission to step aside and answer the phone from my sister.
Meanwhile Andhara continued to speak.
“Busy once anyway, Ma'am. So busy that there was no time for me. Next week I'm going back to the US. Ma'am doesn't miss me what? If you need it, just call me.”
I cut.
“Duh, Dhara, to the point only direct, yes. Don't be like a complicated woman. What's up, honey?”
Andhara sighed.
“Iya, yes. Here, Ma. I missed a book at your house. About when can I take it? Take a minute for me, Ma'am.”
I laugh.
“Yeah, that's all? Tomorrow comes, Dhar. Early in the morning but yes, in the afternoon Ma'am wants to go to the store.”
Andhara answered from across the network.
“Iya ready, Ma'am. Oh yeah, by the way Mommy just bought a new car, huh? Why not say it, anyway?”
My eyebrows were adrift in great astonishment.
“Hah? New car? You mean?”
Andhara answered lightly.
“Iya, so this afternoon I had time to pass in front of your house. Cut the road to Trans Studio. There's a black Jeep in your yard, ma'am. Saucep it's a car. Ma'am's taste is now so manly-manly so huh?”
My heart stopped beating.
Cold sweat is flooding in.
“Tadi afternoon? What time was it this afternoon, Dhar? Did you see the car plate?”
Andhara remembered for a moment.
“Sore about 5 o'clock. The car plate doesn't know, yes. Barrier fence, ‘kan.”
Shut up for a moment, and then he continued.
“Oh, but I see there's a Manchester United hanger in the middle rearview, Mbak.”
...
0.
The words were spoken from my lips while Andhara kept asking on the phone.
Limp, my hands are loose on the side of the body.
...
A black jeep with a Manchester United hanger in its center rearview?
Who else does the car have besides the dashing doctor who loves football and the dark color?
Who else would the car be if it didn't belong to Rawindra?
