The Story of a Broken Man

52. My Mind is Fucked on Sunday Morning

This Sunday was not as usual, for the first time Joseph chose not to sleep. Not because he wanted to, but because he was afraid to dream of Fitri again. He did not want to see her suffer even in a dream. He wants to see her smile.

Because he did not want to sleep, after the morning prayer he immediately went out using sandals and then sat casually on the porch of the house. He had intended to run in the morning, but it felt like his legs were very heavy to run even though the air was suitable. From Monday to Saturday is working time, so on Sunday he does not want to feel tired. Enough at work, he felt tired.

This morning, he usually cooks for breakfast together. But this time it felt really lazy, he thought of his lover. Although dreams are only flowers of sleep, sometimes they are a sign of an event, both good and bad . If for example later it happened exactly the same as in the dream how? Joseph was really scared .

Besides being afraid, he is also a minder himself. He is from the group of people. If for example in a match with people must be also. Times can be more modern, but yes the name caste until the world of the apocalypse will continue to be in question. He was just an ordinary man who lived without parents. Is it possible to get blessing?

Should we just break up? Given the love that has been built with various kinds of ups and downs will run aground also in time. But love is always fought for. Otherwise, where will he continue to anchor his heart? One question that until now Joseph did not know the answer.

***

"This is your house? Really crazy, huh?" when driving home, Joseph who had just seen her first amazed . To him it was more like a palace.

"Alhamdulillah, it's just so quiet. That house usually only occupied me the same brother. My parents are always busy with their jobs. Although always took the time to go home but it felt so lonely."

"Thankful only. At least I have parents."

"Yes anyway. I'm grateful. Thanks for taking me home."

"We are now lovers. So yes, it should be."

"Yes . Want to stop by?"

"No. I go first, yes" Yusuf then left immediately after saying so. I don't know why back then it felt impossible to marry him who came from the upper class.

Joseph came home disappointed. He thought all this time his girlfriend from the same class as him, it turned out ..but rice has become porridge. The fear of loss continued to grow inside him. Even though he already knows he continues his relationship even though sometimes he discusses it.

If you break up now, is it not a matter of yes? Her brother had also told her to leave her sister. Her parents also signaled. Why is there a fear of loss? Losing a loser like himself to Joseph is no problem. He felt that he was not worthy of any woman. After all, which woman craves a cowardly man like himself?

But what is the reason for breaking up? It is also impossible to decide suddenly. But if not, how should he be? While stirring the coffee that was starting to cool he thought.

***

"No. Just thought about what it would be like in the future. Want to make your own business just confused about what business but I think bored also become an employee. You know being the boss," Yusuf didn't want to be honest.

"Yes time? Must be thinking of a girl, right?" Ilyas was less trusting.

"Yes, whatever. When are you off?"

"Somehow, what does it look like when I'm off. Where are you going to go bang?"

"To heaven."

"Wait for the apocalypse if it is. I left first bang . Doain ya hope today goes smoothly."

"Always if that's the case . Is there any gasoline?"

"Still Alhamdulillah. Yes first bang, not good with the others," after saying he immediately fussed. Joseph was unable to comment. He just kept quiet to see it.

"Why is it so hard to talk to him about gini? Even though he was a child it should not hurt," Yusuf muttered alone. Sometimes he wanted to talk about it, but a sense of prestige filled his soul.

"What did you eat this morning?" immediately spent a glass of coffee that was already cold then entered his house preparing to prepare breakfast for himself.

Arriving in the kitchen it was very lazy to just slice onions, so he decided to buy rice in warteg near his home. The price is actually quite expensive, just because it does not eat anything finally bought it too. He ate the food that was ordered.

After eating he decided to take a walk on the motor instead of sleeping. The usual Sunday was spent sleeping, this time trying not to do it. Actually he's not sure he can, only the important thing is that he will try.

He walked through many historical places during two years knowing his girlfriend . He wants to reminisce a little in a place that used to be a lot of laughter coming out. Although the relationship is now increasingly unclear, he still wants to remember it.