The soul mate YOU sent

Chapter 25 Missing

A month or so I was here, away from Mas Zaky and away from home. And it feels like breathing is hard. It was like seeing Mas Zaky everywhere. It feels like every tall, well-built man with shaggy hair and slightly dark skin looks like him. Similarly, every Amara or other volunteer colleagues invite congregational prayers, it must remind me of Mas Zaky who always reminds me when prayer time arrives. Well if miss, stay phone dong. You must think that way. But I did deliberately limit my relationship with him. I only called him three times in a month. Not because it's a hard signal here, but I really want to examine my feelings for him.

Fortunately, the many activities here can divert me a little over the longing for Mas Zaky. Especially now that I take care of a baby intensively starting from three days ago. A healthy baby boy weighing three kilograms and fifty-three centimeters long was born in this shelter by a single mother. Her father died during the disaster and unfortunately, the mother also died a few hours after giving birth due to sepsi, which is blood poisoning due to infection with Streptococcus B bacteria. Fortunately, the baby was not infected. There are no families of his parents here because they are immigrants. This baby is an orphan. So we medics gave her a name. Akmal is the name, which means perfect. As if he knew that now he was alone, he was very independent. Akmal is not as fussy as most babies. Even when he drank milk, he was very strong to drink. After three days of taking care of her, I fell in love. All my tiredness paid off when I saw Akmal.

Today is my schedule and Amara's to the city. We need to buy some stuff that can't wait for delivery from the center. Along with some people from other parts who also need to shop. Actually I don't want to leave Akmal, but I also need to buy some personal items. And the plan is I also want to buy some things for the children in this refugee camp. I want to teach them about the importance of hand washing and also some stationery for some children. I left Akmal's surveillance on one of the nurses here.

"Tan, wes ready? Yuk departs, lain'e wes wait.", said Amara following me to the tent.

"Ready, yok.", I said, holding my bag on my shoulder, I walked behind Amara.

I saw five people waiting in the car. The car drove as soon as we were inside. Our trip was within an hour and a half from the refugee camp to the city centre. After we got everything we needed and put it in the car, we all agreed to the dhuhur prayer first in the mosque beside the market. After my prayers, Amara and Ms. Tanti people from the consumption section first clean up in the women's toilet. Of these two, I am the only one who does not wear the hijab. I watched Amara who was busy with her hijab. Many times I watch her while putting on the hijab, she looks beautiful and graceful. It was different from when he was in college.

"Mara, you molae when to wear the hijab?", I asked finally.

"Old balloon, about two years. My husband's sick to tell, but I like it anyway. More calm ndek kasa'e.", he replied with a smile.

"Well, I'm g' ngiro lo if hijab iso changing people. Bedo very yo same time neng campus. Haha.", I said to Amara.

"Haha... Iso ae you iki", he responded.

"Oh, are you one campus?", asked Ms. Tanti to join.

"We g' only sekampus mbak, but sejajur, sekosan, sekamar anyway.", I replied.

On the way back to the car I stopped Amara's steps. "Mar, teach me to use hijab dong.", I said suddenly that suddenly made Amara stop her steps.

"Are you serious?", she asked.

"Insha Allah, I wes lama also think only now ae aesiapai'e.", I answered steadily.

I had thought for a long time about wearing a hijab, but at that time I did not want to wear a hijab just because I avoided blasphemies from Mas Zaky's neighborhood. I want this really from my heart. Before returning to the refugee camp I had time to buy some hijabs and appropriate clothes. Busy welcomes once we arrive at the refugee cam. Until finally night came. After once again confirming Akmal's condition I can just rest. When all the busyness stops, my mind is again centered on one person. All this fatigue does not feel so long to control the heart. 'Mas Zaky gi napo yo?' batin asked. If it's like this, I want to go home and hold her tight. Usually at this hour he just finished recording a report from convection. 'Opo as good as'e I called him' I asked in my heart. I finally decided to contact him.

"Mad.tut..Assalamualaikum Tania, what's the phone? I call you yo g' lift up", Mas Zaky replied on the second ring.

"Waalaikumussalam. Patience dong, g' don't be angry. Ask the news first cake, baba-basi what cake.", my god.

"Habise you're hard to contact. I told you to call often and send word, but g' you sell. I'm worried about you", he replied in an annoyed tone.

"Oo mas worried to me, miss to me g'? Soale I miss you.", I relaxed.

"Hukk.uhuk..uhuk," sounded suaru cough from across there.

"Your gas g' po-po? Again sick tah?", I'm worried.

"Eh g', g' po-po. I am healthy", he replied immediately. "You I went there as an opo volunteer to learn to fight se.", he continued.

"Hahaha.ko gombal. I miss you, so I'll call" I replied blushing. "Hmm.mas g' kangen yo to me.", my god again.

Telepin suddenly disconnected. There hasn't been a five-second video call in WA from Mas Zaky. My heart is beating fast. This is the first time we've made a vc call since we got married. It was like going on a first date with a new boyfriend. I even read the basmalah before lifting the video call connection.

"Ya kangen is. Makane I call often, you ae seng g' ever want to answer", said Mas Zaky once the call was connected.

A smile on my lips heard his confession.

"Well bad, you learned to sopo teapot anyway?", he asked with a blushed face.

"Hahaha.g' need to learn times, iku name instinct. You piye kabare? Seemingly? Luka wes closed up perfectly, right? wes a month more must wes g' frown."

"Alhamdulillah, wes g' kasa frown. Nice yo stitching, g' ono keloid. See, "" he answered, putting his shirt sleeve together to reveal his scar.

Every time I saw that wound, guilt re-emerged in my chest. I was ashamed of my actions at the time. Mas Zaky noticed the change in my wahah. He then shifted the subject.

"You feel at home there? Ono zinc activities attract g'?", he asked.

"Getah g' at home like a mas, I miss you keep on aboute.", I said sweet-ass and I ended by plucking my lower lip.

"Honestly, I just found out your side of zinc koyok gini. You are also a centil yo. Hahaha", he said in response to my answer.

"Ih, whatever."

"Hehe.., g' by ngambek ntar ayu'e ilang lo." Godanya back.

"G' ah, I'm a big-spirited orange, g' lashing out. Hehe."

We continued to tease each other like ABG's newly dating children, until I finally remembered about Akmal.

"Oh yes mas, I forgot to want cerito if I am now again by the task of caring for a new zinc baby three days of birth here. Ibuk'e the baby died after birth due to sepsi kenek, continue ayahe yeses died during the disaster. Because the shelter is prone to infectious diseases mangke baby needs extra handling. Bayie was so funny, so, uh", I kept telling stories and I could see he was enjoying my stories and occasionally responding at the right time.

Time passed, not feeling too late when we realized that sleepiness had struck. Right at one o'clock we agreed to end the vc connection. Checking out Akmal for the last time and all was well, I laid myself down in the drakbar that was right next to the baby box. As eyes closed Mas Zaky's face greeted with a sweet smile. At half-three in the morning I was startled by Akmal's cry. Looks like he's hungry. After drinking and running out one bottle Akmal went back to sleep. But I can't turn back to closing my eyes. The shadow when we made the video call just now continues to be imagined. Mas Zaky's smile, his laughter and every giggle just now revolved directly in the brain. I don't remember if I used to be like this when I was kasmaran to Mas Damar. Clearly this is really torturous.

Is not the way of life a secret. God is turning over the hearts of men. Who would have thought that I who a few months ago every night cried roared at my longing for Mas Damar, and tonight my heart is sad because of my longing for Mas Zaky. I got up from where I lay, I decided to go and pray two sunnah prayers to calm my heart. That's what Mas Zaky always does every heart is filled with unbearable emotions. Hope this works for me too. When sleepiness does not come back. Finally I continued with the tahajud prayer and recitation while waiting for the dawn prayer time to arrive.

When I thought about Mas Zaky. It seems that God loves me so much. God sent Mas Zaky to lead me down a path I never thought I would walk in my life. Mas Zaky who made me pray without feeling forced, things I never thought would do if not for practice in school. He taught me patience. The sense of calm that I felt when I was with him was different from when I was with Mas Damar. I also became close again to my family members, who we used to be far away because they were against my relationship with Mas Damar. And taught me about shame. Shame on what I've been doing with Mas Damar all this time. He, whose status was my rightful husband, would not touch me because of God's prohibition. But me? Mas Damar and I did it when we were just girlfriends. It's true Hafizah and Mbak Zizah said that I'm disgusting. 'Oh Allah, there are so many parties that I let down.' My inner self is in my heart. 'I am ashamed of You, O God. So many bad things I've done so far.' while I wipe the tears that have unconsciously wet my cheeks. 'And thank You for sending this longing, until I realize who fills this heart and who can lead me to your heaven.' My heart sounds so in tune with my mind. Only Mas Zaky, only he's in my heart. There's no more Mas Damar. I didn't even think about it when I was here. I smiled happily at the steadiness of my heart. It feels good to admit what I feel.

Is this what we call destiny? Maybe my baby's gone is fate so I can be here to take care of Akmal. Maybe this is the best, so that my baby does not bear the shame when he grows up for the actions of both biological parents. God knows what is good and bad for us. God tells us in a way that we would not be aware if we were far away from Him. O God, it is so beautiful that You have led me in your way by sending Mas Zaky to me.

When morning activities began to wiggle accompanied by the sound of adzan shabuh, I immediately perform prayers. I take the time to get a little exercise before starting the actual activity. At about nine o'clock my phone vibrated, with the name "Hum" on the screen.

"Halo Assalamualaikum buk.", I replied upon receiving the connection.

"Waalaikumussalam, piye how are you doing nduk? Healthy?", he asked.

After we talked to each other about the news and so on, my mother finally revealed her purpose in contacting me.

"You feel at home there? When home? Taaan, g' well left husband long ago. Maybe Zaky shut up, but I'm sure he wants you to go to his house. Iku place's wife next to Tan's husband" said mother later.

"Let's go, Tania understands. But Tania g' iso came home suddenly. We need a lot of volunteers. If Tania wants to go home kudu ono surrogate'e. Opo again now Tania has the responsibility to take care of baby Akmal. Tania cohno is in charge here yo", I replied carefully. I don't want to start another verbsl fight with him.

Finally after a long conversation we disconnected the phone. Mother's words kept ringing in the ears. Everything he said was true. I also promise that if I'm sure I'll feel it for her, I'll be right back. But what about Akmal? Not that I doubt the ability of other volunteers, but I myself am not willing if I have to immediately part with him. Haaah, I'm struck by a new dilemma. Maybe I should try to talk to Amara.

*Sorry for a very late update😞. I actually finished writing the script a few days ago but part of the script was not saved and had to rewrite it. Not yet finished writing, my debay suddenly hurts😢.

Thank you for waiting for this chapter-chapter novel. Please continue to wait faithfully until the end.

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