The soul mate YOU sent

Chapter 19 Surprise

This morning I was planning to make chicken porridge for breakfast. It's been a new routine for me for a month, cooking breakfast for Mas Zaky. The porridge was almost ripe and I was feeding the chicken when suddenly my stomach hurt. Lately my stomach has been hurting a lot. Though it was two weeks ago I took time off work because the doctor said I had to rest more for the sake of the little one in my stomach. Walking by holding on to the table, I grabbed a chair and sat down hoping the pain would subside soon.

"Why is Tan?, sick again?", asked Mas Zaky as he walked from the middle of the room.

"Yes, just a little" I replied with a smile.

I don't want to worry him. Lately he's been getting more attention because my stomach hurts a lot. It clearly disrupted his work. Not only does he monitor me from the phone sometimes he has to go back and forth between the house and the convection place, just to make sure that I'm okay. It's not that I don't like his attention, I'm just worried. He must be tired.

"Opo I sent you at home yes, I monitor the convection by phone ae.", said Mas Zaky while sitting in the chair next to me.

"G' do it, just be nice again."

There was a long smell of burning throughout the kitchen. Fucking slurry. Because my stomach hurts, I forgot about the porridge. Mas Zaky swiftly turned off the stove and saw if the porridge was still edible. But destiny says something else. Today Mas Zaky had to look for breakfast outside.

"You go ae mas, find breakfast outside yo. Ntar aq biso DO it."

"You really are g' po-po if I work?", he asked. There was a clear tone of worry in his voice.

After I convinced him many times finally Mas Zaky left for work at half-nine. He bought me breakfast first and accompanied me to a meal, and then left. I'm getting used to being around him. Getting comfortable with all his attention. Start depending on his attitude. I'm also getting used to her prayer calls, although sometimes it still passes when she's not with me.

We spent a lot of time together this month. Always try to eat together, always chat before your eyes closed, a walk on the weekend, and many others. I admit that we are getting closer. But what makes me strange is that every night Mas Zaky always makes a lot of excuses so we don't sleep together. Starting from wanting to pray tahajud first, still have to check the reports of convection and many other reasons. Ever since that night, I never approached her again. I still feel ashamed and offended at his refusal. There are various kinds of prejudices that arise in my heart, one of which is whether he is reluctant to touch me because of disgust towards me who is pregnant with another boy? If that's true, what's the reason he married me?

This thought continued to swirl not only in my brain but also covered my heart.

Not to mention I always thought about the attitude of the members of Mas Zaky's family to me. Ummi has been softer than the beginning of our marriage, almost every day he came here with food. He accompanied me to chat until the afternoon or just stop by to see. But Mas Zaky's brothers and sisters are not, especially his brother-in-law Mbak Zizah and his sister Hafizah. They openly showed their dislike for me. Even they always say I don't deserve Mas Zaky because I'm dirty, I've used Mas Zaky for other people's dirty behavior, or I have made Mas Zaky look bad in the eyes of others for choosing a wife like me. Although I don't think any of their words are true, it still makes my heart ache and uncomfortable. It always makes me moody.

At half-eleven I heard a bell. What is ibuk or ummi? But usually not at this time they come. I immediately opened the door without seeing first from the window who was coming. And it made me so surprised to see who was behind the door. Not just one but three people. But my gaze was only on a tall, sturdy figure that I thought I would never meet again. Mas Damar, stand up straight not budging. His eyes are straight on me. I can't decipher the look in his eyes. But I could see the anger in the eyes of the two people behind him. Mama Sekar and Lita. Seeing them actually gave more surprise than when this baby was present. My stomach feels wrapped around. My heart is beating. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. All mixed feelings ranging from surprise, relief because he came back and healthy, guilty of betraying and leaving him and other feelings. I slowly moved towards them.

"M..Ma's..Mas Damar? K.kamu...", I stammered unable to finish my sentence.

"Why? How's your expression? G' kangen karo me? You g'mo hug me?" said Mas Damar in a flat and cold tone.

"Mas, where have you been during iki? I'm looking for you. I'm worried about you", finally my words can come out clearly.

"Find me? Ye? Haha', do you mean to worry about marrying someone else?" he said.

"I can explain you, I...".

"G' ono that needs to be explained yo. Everything is clear. Mama loves you like your own son. Mama thinks you love Damar, but once Damar g' is there you're looking for another'e instead. Don't-don't you've been a lot different from other girls'e just ngincer our family's treasure. Mangkane so Damar g' there you immediately find another victim."

"G' ma, I g' that's me.", I can't continue my sentence that I love Mas Damar very much. Because now I'm someone's wife. I must preserve the honor of my husband.

"Why? G'iso by the way, because it's all true, right? Wes is not g' to hide. Mbak know g'?, we shave iso see abusie mbak. So our family's gonna be able to dredge treasure."

I never thought that those who have been close to me, who have been like a second family to me. All I ever expected was in my future, being able to think badly of me. Can accuse me of such contempt. I have not denied all this humiliation. A crushing blow broke my heart not only into shreds but completely into powder.

"I see you're pregnant, you're looking at your stomach. Definitely not like the zinc we planned. So after knowing how I feel, you can't bear to try' with others? Awesome you yo, g' thought you were koyok gini to me. YOU KNOW G' I LOVE DIE TO KAMUUU!!, iso yo you kek gini?."

Mas Damar looks very hurt, his eyes are red and look teary. But why would he accuse me of sleeping with another man? The flashes of our past are like movies playing in my brain. All the laughter, smiles, love, love, cries burned to ashes by pain and anger. Unknowingly my hand had already swung hard onto Mas Damar's cheek.

"Fuck you MAS!! This is your son! You made a promise, but you said it. I'm falling up looking for you. You g' know the opo ae that I'm following this baby. You leave me fighting alone, now I'm so good you're accusing me of macems behind you!.", I can't stem it anymore. I know he was shocked and angry at my marriage, but thinking this other man's son was too much.

"Omong empty. If it was Damar's son, why did you g' ever tell us? Your husband is less rich than us? By the way, why am I humming a son'e Damar? What a waste yo you.", mama Sekar's words hurt more than a slap.

This insulting look of the three people before me was clearly recorded in my mind. Enteh why, now I feel so grateful to be married to Mas Zaky. It turned out that God was showing that what I left behind was indeed something bad and not worth fighting for. With a cynical smile I returned everything they spat out to me.

"G' aunt, my husband is much richer than all the assets you have. You guys know why? Because I'm sure g' ono one man in your family seng want to marry ma women seng again pregnant another boy. My own son ae g' mo ngakuin! But my husband is rich. He married me unconditionally. He took care of me and your baby. And I'm so grateful that you're here today, because of you I know that I have a great and proper husband. Thanks to you guys I know that my actions are right to have thrown my past away about you. It turns out you guys are really not as valuable as I am to fight for. We end our relationship here. In the future I hope we g' ever tangent. And g' onok regret ndek between us, especially for you mas.", my heart cried so much to say. No, not because I regret saying that. But because it's all true and I've been stupid and guilty to my father and mother for defending Mas Damar more jerk.

I went in and locked the door. Leaned on the door with tears streaming down. My heart is like dust swept by the wind. It's sad to remember the person I love so much accusing me of all the bad. He knows best what I've been like all this time. How could he think the worst of me. Want to entertain yourself by saying about gratitude this is what still can not stop the pills of this heart. Giving up, I chose to go back to the room and curl up in bed.

Maybe this is the reward for being so evil to my father and mother all this time. No matter how long time passed, my wailing began to weaken in place of the welcoming nightmares.