The soul mate YOU sent

Chapter 16 Decision

The next day after Batu city I had a fever for a few days. I also could not contact Mas Dito to ask if he had gone to the place of the person who claimed to find Mas Damar's cell phone or belly button, because my phone suddenly jammed and eventually died. It's been almost a week since I had a fever and sick leave. There are many thoughts that make me feel uneasy. I know this isn't good for my baby. But I can't put these thoughts aside. One of them was the decision about Mas Zaky. I can't make him wait anymore. He had to give her a decision immediately so that she could also step forward. At first I wanted to reject him immediately after the ta'aruf period was over, but it became clear that I had never tried to consider his whereabouts. I'm sure it'll hurt her heart. And I don't want to hurt a good man like Mas Zaky.

It's not lunch time yet and I'm going to eat the third time. The baby's grandpa started eating. I stepped into the kitchen. But before I arrived, I heard the voices of my father and mother in the lounge. Hhmm so today dad's off. I heard my name on the sidelines of their conversation. Walking closer, I intend to listen to what they are talking about because I believe it has something to do with me.

"Piye iki's? Tania kok g' to give you a decision. The perute will get bigger. Where do you want to put me, mukae dad? Shy karo daddy's business colleagues. Mareka must be talking about our family", father's voice sounded very desperate.

"Patience yes well, we yo g' can be Nekan Tania. Takute her stress, continue to impact to the babye.", mother's voice more calm. I peeked out from behind the wall. Apparently my mother was gently stroking my father's back. It was clearly a sad and desperate look from my father's face.

"Can you gini you buk? What are we lacking in Tania? From the big sampe' only once we g' nuruti him, only Damar thing. He's kayak gini balesnya. Kok g'alli directly kill father using' knife ato poison.", continued father pilu. Hearing this made me realize that I was a very bad boy. Tears without feeling have flowed and slid smoothly on my cheeks.

"Huss yeah, g' can say that. If you think gini sopo seng nguatno ibuk? Who protects mom? You have to be strong, you have to be patient, for our children, for our grandchildren. However Tania is our child, we should support and control the molae now."

"But I'm ashamed buk, ashamed! Iki just as dad wes failed to educate girls. If the router is big, people will know and gossip. Felt our family name. We are a good family. G' never done a bit of shame. Yo new Tania iki. Opo maneh lek colleagues father-colleagues until horrified, I am sure will impact our efforts.", the voice of the father is thick with disappointment.

I really hurt them. I know Dad's very angry with me. After she found out I was pregnant, she avoided me as much as possible and ignored me. But I know she still cares about me and my baby. I often heard him ask my mother if I had eaten? Are my condition and my baby healthy? and there's so much more. But I didn't know that this depressed dad was responding to my pregnancy. Oh my god, what should I do? I really loved Mas Damar and didn't want to betray him. On the other hand, if I marry Mas Zaky, it would mean that I hurt her for not loving her.

"Patience well, we're dealing with this together. Tania I only have us, her parents. If we also turn away from him, where does he go? There is no place to lean but us, if Damar g' says maybe there is still him who takes care of him. But now? There's only us he's got. We must strengthen each other and face this together", the voice of mother is very calm and firm.

I am very grateful to my mother because she is willing to accept this situation and able to be calm. My mother also always encouraged me when I was devastated by the loss of Mas Damar. He's the one who watches my food so that me and my baby are healthy. Honestly, hearing their talk made me go back to square one and start thinking back on the decision I was going to make.

I saw my mother who was hugging my father while whispering soothing words. I stepped away in silence. My hunger disappeared replaced by a very severe nausea. I immediately ran towards the bathroom. Everything I've eaten since morning has gone out. Leaving behind an unpleasant feeling that made my legs go limp. After I thought it was over, the nausea came back again. This time I spewed nothing but bitter yellowish slime. I leaned against the wall for a moment and stepped towards the toilet to sit down to calm my stomach. A few minutes passed and I'm sure it's over. I started to step up and went back to my room.

Arriving at the room I immediately threw myself in bed. Take a deep breath and exhale many times to calm my stomach which is still a little nauseous. My feelings are fucked up. What decision should I make? Not long ago I pondered, a knock was heard from the door of the room. Slowly the door opened and caught up with the figure of Lani who stepped in.

"Main yok's. G' bosen opo diem in teroozz house.", he said as he joined the lie beside me.

"G' da Lan's interest, mumet me. My mind is chaotic", I replied reluctantly with my eyes closed.

"Napo maneh se? About Mas Damar maneh?"(what else is it? about Mas Damar again?).

After taking a deep breath, I finally decided to tell you about the chatter of my father and mother that I heard earlier. How I felt about making the right decision. Tears began to pour down my face. I feel so depressed. I really loved Mas Damar and didn't want to betray him. What if I marry Mas Zaky and it turns out that Mas Damar is back? I can't stand to hurt him. She didn't even know she was going to have a child. I'm sure it would make him very sad if until his son called someone else's father, not him.

But if I agree to this matchmaking, it will also be a double-edged knife for Mas Zaky. Maybe there will be many people who praise him for marrying a girl who is pregnant. Pregnant children of other men. I don't know how Mas Zaky feels about me either. What was the reason she kept trying to get through this matchmaking even when she found out I was pregnant with another boy.

Honestly, I've been thinking about this for a long time. Is there a motive he's hiding behind this? But he doesn't look like that. No, it didn't. I'm pretty sure Mas Zaky and his family are good people.

I shed everything I thought that made me anxious, worried about dilemmas and depressed. This is a little bit of a relief for me. Maybe this is what I need. Talk to someone else. Seeing her listened to me carefully and did not interrupt, made me feel noticed, appreciated. I don't remember the last time I told Lani like this. We were too late in our respective activities. I ended my story with still as much as I wanted and puffy eyes. I felt Lani wrap her arms around my shoulders, hugging me gently.

"Relax yo Tan, who is patient. You know your lek g' by being depressed like gini. Kasian your baby lo.", he said soothingly.

"You want to hear my opinion g'?", he asked softly which I replied with a nod.

"Gini lo Tan, Mas Damar problem we'll g' know opo zinc occurs. Where is Mas Damar? Is opo wes still dead? What will I return? Iyo if Mas Damar is hit. If he runs away from you? Piye?", Lani raised her palm to stop me from interrupting. I can't believe he had such thoughts about Mas Damar. Although it does not rule out the possibility that it might happen. He continued his opinion.

"We are g' by living by relying on the uncertain. If your choice by waiting for Mas Damar turned out to be wrong piye? I'm sure you'll get a lot of depression out of this. You will feel very sorry for cheating your ort, have hurt them. Not to mention you will feel sorry because of the pain of your time to wait for him. Also, Mas Zaky is very good to you" he said gently but firmly. Lani grabbed my hand and held it gently.

"Your guy I'm Bener Tan, your belly g' is going to be hidden. People will become aware for longer. They'll argue about who his father is. Of course ae ono some people who will talk about your disgrace iki, even your big son. You imagine Piye if later your son is horrified about this disgrace of yours?."

"Keep Tan, your father's concern about his business is also reasonable. If his business suddenly weakened piye? They certainly worry g' iso calm-quiet, relaxed-relaxed in old'e.", Lani exhales very deeply and loudly.

"As for Mas Zaky I've known. I've only met him once. Seng clearly he looks your attention. He is also kind and friendly. Where onok se Tan the zinc guy wants to help his rival? Which many I'll take a chance in your situation like this."

"Tan, you know I'll keep supporting you. Opopun seng you decide, I'll go next to you. But, you should think carefully, think really-gener opo seng want you to decide. If you make a decision ono how many will be injured, ono how many will be happy. And vice versa, if you make a decision B. Remember Tan, you're living alone, ono your ort and bakale ono your son too" said Lani with a hug back.

God, I'm really grateful to have a friend like Lani. He was always a good listener. He never judged anyone else. He can always think rationally at times like this. After all the sessions are finished. We went down for a late lunch. We talked on the side terrace while enjoying the ibuk orchids that were blooming until dusk and Lani say goodbye.

As long as we ate and chatted earlier, I had thought carefully about what decision I would make. Whatever happens, I will try to do it and I promise I will not regret it. I grabbed the phone and dialed the number I've been calling lately. Tuuuts..tuuuts..tuuuts.call is connected in the third waiting tone.

"Hello Mas Zaky, I agree to marry mas.", I said steadily and without hesitation.