The soul mate YOU sent

Chapter 20 Lost

It had been three hours since the commotion with Mas Damar had occurred. I just quietly curled up in bed not intending to do anything. Fifteen minutes ago Mas Zaky called to check on me. Of course I didn't tell Mas Zaky. I don't want to worry him and make him bother with going back and forth to the house and the convection.

All their insults won't leave my head. Keep on in my ears. Tears don't dry on my face. I still don't think how could Mas Damar tell me all that. Even though I said I had intended to throw all my feelings at her, still everything she said made my heart ache. As if our togetherness has been worthless. He won't even hear my explanation.

My body feels weak, I am hungry but even reluctant just to order a meal online. Maybe a glass of warm milk can hold my hunger and make me a little calmer. I slowly moved out of bed. Step limped and clung to the wall, trying to get to the kitchen. When the glass of warm milk was ready for me to drink, the bell rang once more. There's no way they're any more, right? It's also definitely not Mas Zaky, because Zaky's mas carries its own keys. Maybe it was ummi. I stopped drinking milk to open the door. It was Hafizah who came. 'Oh no more, not today. I can no longer bear to face even just a little insults' I thought to myself.

"Come in Zah."

"G' no, I just nganter iki told ummi.", replied Hafizah ketus.

"G' wants to drink at the back?", I bargained.

"G' do not be pretentious deh mbak, g' will mempan to me. Liaten ae yes mbak, I will make Mas Zaky tau abusie mbak. I'm ae fellow woman disgusted to mbak. Especially Mas Zaky.", the reading is long. And immediately left after putting a set of bushels onto the floor.

That's how unlucky I am today. May the last Hafizah test me today. I just put the chain on the kitchen table without the slightest intention of opening it. My stomach was rebelling but I ignored it. The milk was cold and there was no interest in drinking it. Cowering back in bed feeling my stomach getting more and more painful until I finally fell asleep.

I feel like someone is caressing my cheek and occasionally rubbing my head. My name is also called. My eyes slowly blinked and adjusted the light entering the retina. Is it night already? How long have I slept? I saw Mas Zaky sitting on the edge of the bed right by my side.

"You why? Sick?", he asked gently while stroking my cheek.

"G' kok mas, just feeling tired ae."

"You g' eat? Didn't see the food from Ummi intact on the table. Kasian Dedek the baby is Tan. Yok didn't want to eat.", he asked.

"Ntar ae mas", I said and grabbed his hand that was stroking my cheek.

When our gazes met suddenly all the events of the day flashed back to make my eyes heat up and again ready to shed tears. I held her hand and pulled her to my lips. I kissed that hand for a long time and when I started to open my mouth to talk tears I couldn't stand anymore, fighting for each other to flow.

" Thank you, I'm waiting and marrying me" I said weakly in tears.

"Tan, what the hell are you doing? Crita dong's. Does anyone bother you? Hafizah again?", he asked worriedly.

I just shook my head and pulled it so I could grieve it. She looked very shocked and pushed me gently away. But I hugged him tighter. This is the first time we've ever hugged. I just want to lean back, she's the only one I can make lean on now. My husband's.

"I beg you to let the gini be in a moment" I said to his chest in a muffled voice.

After feeling calm I loosened my embrace but did not let go. We were silent for a long time until Mas Zaky broke the silence.

"You why? G' want crito? I always stood by your side. So if ono opo-opo you crito yo" he said gently while stroking my hair.

I looked up to say something as our gazes locked. The pitch-black eye beads that always hypnotized me every time his gaze locked onto my brown bead.

"Sorry Tan, don't go here. I can't."

His words and his rejection reminded me of Hafizah's words this afternoon 'disgust'. Tears escaped back down my cheek. I can't count how many times I cried today.

"You why the hell mas? I am your wife. You disgusted with me? Kayak Seng said Mbak Zizah same Hafizah? Why do you keep marrying me?", my roar.

Heart hurts. Today was absolutely perfect. There is no respite for my heart to recover. I really look like a touch-hungry beggar. I just want a tranquilizing hug, just one antidote kiss. I don't want to do more either. And he pushed me like I was HIV. I closed my eyes to calm myself down as my stomach began to wrap around. I know I can't be stressed like this. Not good for my baby.

Stepping forward he crouched down so that our gazes were parallel to my position sitting on the bed. Grab my hand and hold it gently.

"G' Tan, g' ngono. I've never been disgusted at you. I sincerely marry you. Only, your situation g' can I make you touch. You g' know how to torment'e I'm trying to make g' touch you.", he said gently incline.

What does that mean for my situation? Because I'm pregnant? So it's true she won't touch me because I'm pregnant. So is she really disgusted because I'm pregnant with another man's child? My heart is hot, and so is my face. I shook his hand and stood up quickly. But I lost my balance because I was too quick to stand with my weak condition. Hungry and limp, and with all this pressure I felt like my stomach was hurting. It was so painful that I couldn't help it. When my legs could no longer support my body, Mas Zaki's hands were already coiled around my waist.

"You why Tan? Your stomach hurts? your face is very sharp. Let's fall ae.", said Mas Zaky very quickly and sounded very worried.

When Mas Zaky was about to throw me into bed I felt a tremendous pain. Along with that I felt something flowing down my thigh. Trying to endure my pain I moved my head to see what was on my thigh.

"Ma.mas, blood. Da.da. blood mas.", I said limp and panicked. Tears flowed unceasingly. 'No, I beg you. Nothing with my baby. I just have him. No, I beg you.'

"Relax Tan, we're going to the hospital now. Ayok.", said Mas Zaky trying to hide to his panikan.

He then carried me to the car. I had a glance at the clock on the dashboard of the car showing at eleven o'clock at night. During the journey I was constantly praying that nothing would happen to my baby. So did Mas Zaky. He kept reminding me not to break up praying. Every now and then he would gently shake my hand to give me strength. I whisper words that strengthen me.

Arriving at the hospital I was immediately taken to the IGD because the blood that came out was very much and never stopped. Mas Zaky never got up from my side. There was clearly worry on his face. I could see the fear there, too. The urge of my heart was very strong to raise his hand and gently caress his cheek, right in the dimples he saw whenever he smiled or laughed. He leaned his cheek against my hand and his eyes began to tear.

"You must be strong. You have to remember that I'm waiting for you here" he said grudgingly and then kissed my forehead and the back of my hand.

I have no power to even say a word or two. Mas Zaky can only accompany me until the medics come. He had to wait outside. I can see the reluctance in his steps. Sometimes he looks around before the door separates us. The medics deftly examined my condition. Before they could give me any treatment I had lost consciousness.

The faint-sounding beep.bip.a beep grew clearer and longer. My head felt so heavy that my eyes refused to open. I feel aching all over my body. And my stomach feels strange, between the pain, the tickle and the cramps into one. Wait for. My stomach! I forced my eyes to open. It was dark, it was the first time I saw it, there was only a dim light from the heart monitor screen beside the bed. I could see there was another light outside at the end of the room. I spread my eyes and finally I know where I am now. My left wrist was connected to an infusion tube and the inner elbow of my right hand was connected to a blood bag hose.

Why am I in the hospital? Is there a problem with my baby? My memory goes back to the moment where I felt my stomach ache and blood flowing from my groin. I painstakingly moved my hand to feel my stomach. I can feel a layer of fabric a little hard and thick, like a corset? My feelings are getting worse. I hope nothing happens to my baby. I reached for the patient button with great difficulty and managed to press it. Not long after the doctors and medics came to check on me. The doctor said I could be moved to the hospital room. When I asked what happened, the doctor just said 'it's okay, soon your family can visit' and immediately waltzed out.

When I arrived at the hospital room, I saw Mas Zaky, father, mother, ummi, abah there was even Mas Yayan, Hafizah and Lani were waiting inside. Mas Zaky helped the medics move me to the bed in the hospital room. When the sisters were gone I could feel a gloomy, awkward atmosphere begin to form. My heart is getting throbbing. No, please don't happen as I thought. When they realized I was seeing them one by one, their various reactions showed. Ibuk who is as unwilling and hidden in the arms of the father, as well as ummi who is in the hug abah. Lani and Mas Yayan were looking at me with pity. And Mas Zaky whose eyes looked puffy and red walked over towards me. Standing beside my right and shaking my hand gently, she lowered her head and kissed my forehead, my eyes, my nose, my cheeks, and lastly my lips even though it was just a kiss. There was a wet trail in every kiss he left behind.

"Sorry, sorry, Tan" he said weakly almost like a whisper. "I can take care of you and the baby. Her baby.", Mas Zaky stopped talking and took a deep breath. "His baby g' survived Tan" he finally said.

"NGGAK, NO WAY!!", my tears broke.