The Mafia's Asmara Cage

SASM - Dialogue is lost

As always, night and solitude have always been the most excruciating times for me, Sam. I fell silent on the balcony of your room, the place where I used to hug you and back and tease you with little kisses and rub my jaw against your neck to make you squirm while chuckling. I always loved that laugh and it made me not want to stop. When you are upset, you will turn to look at me with love and a smile that makes me want to bite my pink lips.

How are you doing today, beautiful? What color clothes are you wearing? Is your face as bright as usual? Or a moody like me who is tormented in desolation?

Sam, this is the first time I've felt such endless longing. Every moment is all you have in mind. Playing around with your shadow is the most fun thing. Because I don't feel abandoned. I heard when people around me said that you were gone, but my heart didn't want to admit it. My reasoning even revolted because I felt that our beautiful time was just an instant.

Sam, I used to love it when I was in full consciousness and we talked about our future. You once said that you want a marriage. You showed me that your guts were so great to be a mistress of Cortez. No, it's not like that. Your love is so great that you believe that living with me will be the end of a perfect life.

Hahahaha, stupid. Not you, but me. I never thought that far until I realized I could no longer see you by my side. Now, I no longer liked being fully conscious because when I woke up, I felt that loss and regret were tormenting me.

I always ask in my heart, what would happen if I came sooner? What would happen if I accompanied you and didn't let you go alone? What would happen if I knew that our togetherness on the yacht would be the last togetherness to be taken by death?

Death, I shiver to say that. When I realized I was denying that death had separated us. I love playing with your shadow, listening to you chatter say things I've heard from your mouth so I feel like I can hold you and not lose you.

But when I was half as aware as I was now, I knew exactly that the one standing beside me and resting his head on my shoulder, was only a shadow of the past that I could never touch. The shadow that is proof of my failure takes better care of you.

How's Sam doing? Is your day better after we split up? Would you rather be hugged by the ocean than me hugging you? Didn't you ever say that being in my arms makes you feel like you have the most comfortable home?

You're sly Sam, you're too cunning.

When I feel like you're my best home, you just leave. Not letting me fight one bit and prepare for all your own departure in such a tragic way. Now that the house is destroyed, I have no shelter. I was cold, I was lonely and I was alone. I miss listening to your warm breaths on my face and the beating of your heart that became a beautiful melody in my ears. Lying my head between those two rubber balls, and then you rubbed my head gently, that was indeed a moment that would never be changed and I did not need a replacement.

Sam, a few days ago I had lunch at your favorite restaurant. The place you made your secret meeting place with your friend. I let you go for a while. Gave you confidence because I'm sure one day you'll tell me whatever you've been up against.

Right, you're back. Your arrival makes the spicy food taste sweet and savory. I don't care about my sweat and my hot lips. Because when I am tormented like that, I can reply to you with a passionate ****4n. You like it, just like me who was made intoxicated even when there was no more air in my chest cavity.

You know Sam, the clothing store that we often go to already has a new clothing model. I bought you some. There is a black color that is perfect for you to wear at a party. There is a charming blue color when we have dinner together and makes you sparkle when wearing it. Then there is the white color with the tail of a long dangling dress equipped with a beautiful tiara to decorate your head. It's in your closet now. I want you to wear it in front of the priest. In front of all those who pray we are happy until we age together.

I even prepared a ring for you and I always take it with me wherever I go. I feel like this ring makes me whole while still loving you. The ring I was gonna give you when we had a romantic dinner after the yacht. I've ordered Paul to prepare for the event.

I was hoping to be anxious that day, worried that you didn't like the decorations I prepared. I decorate it with lilies and other white flowers to show my sincerity and prove that my love is pure. I've prepared the best musical accompaniment for us to dance. But I was worried about the wrong thing. I should be worried if you never come back.

Sam, this chest is getting tight. I need to lay my body on your bed. You need to know, if this room is my favorite place right now. I lay down my tired body despite doing nothing but daydreaming of you. Sometimes I look at the orange sky behind your window. I like to do that, because it makes my imagination more beautiful.

“Max, I want you,” that sentence that I always miss. Your moans, your han village and everything in you even if it's just our sweat grains mixed together.

Look, I'm my eyes dripping again Sam. I never invited him to come. Every night greedily he soaked the entire surface of the pillow I was wearing. He came with his friend, a tightness in the chest that I could never explain. You know Sam, this sense of tightness made me realize that after losing you my job was just to continue my hopelessly empty life.

Sam, I was so happy this afternoon that I found a radar that made me have high hopes of seeing you again. I'm so excited to find you. I came to a place that shows you where you are. Baby, it's not you. She's a woman you want to save. I could have helped you free her from the man who bought her, but, I chose to cultivate hope again. I'm giving you a chance to come alone to set him free. Your arrival is what he wants.

“Excuse me sir,”

You heard Sam, it was Paul's voice. The old man you always work for but he enjoys it. I know he's sad because it's been over a month no one's bothered him. He knows how I am, look at him come in without me telling him.

“Sorry to interrupt your break, mr.” Said the man who knew I could never rest. I don't know what news he brought.

He walked towards me, in his hand carrying an envelope. “I've found a lot of data related miss Eveline.”

Hah, about that woman again Sam. Paul was serious.

“Say,” I don't like every time he pauses an important sentence that makes me have to wait for him.

“This girl lost her memory when she was fourteen. He was sold to a monk4ri and redeemed by Mr. Dmitry when he was nineteen years old. Two years later Mr. Dmitry went bankrupt and made Miss Eveline a payment by selling it to a pel4curan. He often gets torment both physically and psychologically. Last time he was at auction in Moscow and got a very high offer. He is now twenty-six years old. Don't you think he's the one we've been looking for all this time?”

I was silent, I was still very surprised. I thought for a while looking at the envelope in Paul's hand, and then I grabbed it. I saw pictures of the woman, her body full of wounds, but there was one thing more interesting than the bluish wounds, the faint number seen on her waist, the number six. If the number is not covered by a flower-shaped tattoo, the number is 3126.

Shit, is that my Mirella, Sam?

I'm moving on right away. I took the radar I thought was yours. “Prepared Soon, we pick up the girl!” I gave the order firmly and saw you smile at me Sam.

Is this what you want? Don't you like it when I hurry?

****