The Fate that is Overlooked

6

The sun shines brightly, the sky looks clean blue, some clouds that adorn the warm atmosphere of the morning. The sounds of birds sound simple, feel the peace of the heart. But not for me. Everything looks the same. Grizzled.

I just finished taking a shower, standing in front of a big glass window, looking out and accidentally, my eyes saw my beloved flowers being doused by Mbak Nur. Assistant at my house.

Well after 7 days passed, and during that time I just lay weakly on my bed. Like a sick person, contemplating, introspection, strengthening my heart and self, until finally today I try to rise. Peace with the situation. With a lot of support from relatives and closest people who until now still keep coming to give his condolences to me. I started learning to take heart. Believe me, everything wasn't as easy as I thought it was.

I decided to get out of the room, following where Mbak Nur was. I walked without regard to the circumstances around me, all I went to was Mbak Nur.

"Let Ajeng aja Mbak" I said as I reached out asking for the slang he was holding.

I can see the shock on Mbak Nur's face, like wanting to ask something but restrained. Makes me just smile at him, and receive the slang he gave me and immediately focus on watering my beloved plants.

"I went in first, Ma'am Jeng"

Ma'am Nur said goodbye to me, which I only answered with a nod of the head.

I have always loved anything to do with flowers. For me besides being an eye wash when in a saturated state, flowers also provide their own strength through the smell of the aroma. Soothing, soothing and heeding.

"It's already a mama's boy, here we ngeteh first both"

shortly after Mbak Nur entered, she came out with a tray of two cups of tea and my favorite cheese biscuit.

I just turned my head, replied with a nod and smiled. And not long after, after I thought all the flowers were well watered, I obeyed my mother's order to sit next to her.

"When did you not eat rice loh Jeng, Pingin mama masakin what?" Mama started into her chatty mode when I had already landed my body in the lounge chair.

"Ajeng no laper ma" I tried to open my voice.

"Grandfather how from when to just eat porridge continues to days" Mama keukeuh with her opinion.

I reached for the cup containing the tea, inhaled deeply the distinctive aroma of jasmine that instantly slurped in my nose, and sipped it slowly, soaking my esophagus.

"Your mother came home with a Bara, she said she wanted a guest. So tonight just as you know they're coming back" Mama told me.

"I Miss Mas Reno" I said without caring what my mother said.

"I miss Mas Reno" I said later when mama hamya silently did not respond to me.

"You're going to the tomb now?" Mama finally opened her voice and was followed by a nod of my head.

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I still couldn't get out of front of Mas Reno's grave, the man who found me with a million wounds lodged in my heart at the time, convincing me to be happy with him, Offering dreams that I may finally have to realize myself at this time. Without it...

At that time I accidentally met Mas Reno in a minimarket not far from my home.

I was in line at the cashier, standing in front of Mas Reno with a basket full of basic necessities. Of course I was shopping at my mother's behest.

Somehow the story goes that when I was going to pay for my groceries, my wallet wasn't there. I immediately panicked. Wallets that contain money are small but many important cards such as ID cards, ATMs and friends are just lost. At that time I did use a rather long sling bag, perched behind my hips. Luckily, I did not put the phone in the bag because I was reading a list of groceries that Ningrum (my brother) sent via message.

The once friendly cashier immediately put a jutek face on me, maybe he thought I was just playing around, shopping with a basket full, and suddenly reasoned the wallet was gone, very cliche !

Until maybe Mas Reno who was behind me was tired of waiting and time-hunting finally decided to pay for all my groceries with his debit card.

I automatically refused firmly, but the cashier still accepted Mas Reno's opinion, how not? the queue is snaking and there's only cashier counter here. And it looks like the cashier is reluctant to cancel transactions that have been listed on his computer. And finally with a heavy heart I received my groceries. No, precisely the groceries for me that were paid by a stranger I did not know.

I came out of the minimarket, standing by the door, waiting for Mas Reno to arrive. I meant to hand over my groceries to him, so I wouldn't feel like I had a debt. But the answer is beyond my prediction.

He who had seen my groceries at the checkout, which was almost entirely filled with kitchen necessities and the well just laughed.

"Sir, what kind of groceries do I bring home? I never deal with washing washing, and I can't fry fry. And that, wrap, I don't use it. Her smile expanded at both corners of her lips.

"Thank you it's a gift from me for mommy who has given birth to a beautiful and adorable woman like mbak, I'm sorry first" Imbuya before leaving me and rattled my hair with anxiety. While I was like a foolish woman who could only watch him leave, get in a black car and drive him fast, it seemed like she was in a hurry at that time.

And a few months after that, we were met again by a fate that seemed to play tricks on us. For the second time we were met in the same minimarket but in a different position. This time he who does not bring cash and unfortunately the debit card machine is having trouble.

"Disatuin same my groceries just this mbak" said my then, while putting my groceries to the cashier.

The cashier seemed to feel what I felt too, because this cashier was also the one who served me.

And we ended up looking at each other and laughing together.

We both sat together in front of the minimarket accompanied by 2 cups of coffee. Me and Mas Reno.

And from that second meeting I began to know a little about him. From there our relationship began, from introductions, exchanging mobile numbers, making approaches until finally we both decided to unite ourselves, undergo a household heresy and end up as we are today.

Everything is too short and too fast to make me seem to be just played and hurt myself. Like there was nothing else I needed to do, I was swept away in endless sadness and solitude.

If I could choose, from the beginning I would never have wanted our meeting to happen. If I knew it would end like this, I would never have brought love to my heart from the beginning. If only I had been more careful in understanding love, I would never have been hurt this deep. All I know is that I am now just a piece of meat without a heart.

That'sallthatis...

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