The Fate that is Overlooked

32

Barata POVs

Everything went so easily, beyond my expectations. All business was completed within 2 days, and today also Mother and Anita and her mother returned to Banyumas. I drove them all the way to Gambir Station.

"So Le's health, I'll take care of everything. You don't have to think about anything. Take good care of yourself" A piece of mother's advice I caught before getting into the train.

I was just looking at his disappearance, there was no answer from me. Until the sound of the car horn closed my ears and the train went slowly until it gradually disappeared, I was still sitting in the departure seat. I remember what happened to me all this time.

Frankly, I don't know if this is the best way for me or not, I'm just doing my duty as a man to be responsible for what I've done. And also demands from Mother to get married. It's just that. I'm a typical person who just follows the flow of life, flows like water, follows the command of the commander, carries out the best possible tasks. There was no love or mind after he just disappeared from my life. I can't change anything right now.

I also do not know how in the future my household will be, a household without love. Cold, rigid, should not the house be a place to rest after doing long activities spent the day. I don't know. I really don't have any picture of marriage, marriage to be exact. So maybe the best thing I'm handing over to Mom.

My feelings for Anita were just feelings for a friend. Nothing more. I hope this is my best destiny. And a month is not a long time. I really don't want any sangkur pora event. Too tiring. I just want a simple thanksgiving, but you can guess what about Anita, right?

I feel tired of ignoring my heart. Or I myself am not so sensitive to the circumstances around, not good at reading people's hearts, especially for love affairs. Although I was taught hard with various strategies, martial, but weak in love affairs.

I've only loved once, and that feeling has always existed. I thought it would disappear with time. But instead it is getting lush, crazy and trapping myself.

I've been trying, trying to reach my love, but what? he apparently gave me congratulations. I tried to convince myself that Ajeng no longer wanted me, but my little heart forced me to refute him. And do you know what I found? disillusioned. Very, very deep.

He was silent, until I cut off the conversation with him, not a single soy sauce of words came out of his mouth. Yeah, I think I'm crazy, wanting him to be so good. It's funny to not know him, to call everyone he's in contact with, hoping one of them can understand what I mean. Nil. No one can understand me!!

If I may, and there's a chance, I just want to hug her. For a moment. Deep in the recesses of my heart my love remains, and never will it move. Even though I've chosen Anita, I will never remove her from me. He is always at heart. It will be replaced, let alone timed. It won't!

Please you scold me as you like, enough and must be known of the old saying that we cannot choose where love sides. My love is on Ajeng's side, even though my body is on Anita. My love is not wrong, I am wrong. And that can't be denied anymore.

Ajeng POV

I arrived home, as Mbok Kamti was sweeping the courtyard.

"Mbak Jeng" she greeted me.

"Hottest heat, rich there is no other day. Ntar item loh Mbok" I mocked him.

"Involuntarily, Mbak, so there is no wind, can be burned immediately so do not fly again"

"Your mother has come home? " Tanyaku.

"Mother Kaliyan Mr konjalan Mbak, Mbak Ningrum again in the city" Mbok Kamti explained to me that the same father Mama was going to the event and Ningrum again to the city.

"Ndi's lodging? " i asked where they were going.

"Tirose teng Ajibarang, plan the school Mr" Turns out the same father mama famous to Ajibarang, to the place of school friends.

"Yes, Ajeng came in" My words passed.

I walked through the courtyard, heading straight for my room. For you to know a little, my village is located on the slopes of Mount Slamet, one of the volcanoes that are still active. The normal temperature here ranges from 29-30 degrees Celsius. Do not ask if the morning before dawn, the temperature here is very cold, can reach 18-20 degrees Celsius.

And I just visited to just unwind, unfortunately I became the object of a rancid man who irritated me!

Somewhat down a little, there is a Sirongge gerumbul which is famous for the house of Joglo Akik. Ancient Joglo house around it is grown by cinnamon trees, where there are many agate stones on display. The place slightly went inside, the quiet atmosphere increasingly makes the place feel a little haunted if I say, even though every day there are only visitors.

Instantly I remembered the Boutique I just stayed in. My feelings are bad. What is this.

I turn on my phone, and I'll call the boutique soon. I wrote a missed hour for lunch. I'm just worried, the boutique guy has eaten yet huh?

Not long after, the call was answered by someone, namely Vika. I made small talk with Vika, before I said goodbye that tonight I stayed in Cilongok and promised that tomorrow we would meet in Boutique.

It feels like I have to organize myself again, with a life that is completely separated from all the shadows of the Sukma Mother family. What alasaku? there's no way I'm suddenly just leaving, just releasing myself from Mother Sukma. She was so nice to me. And I couldn't and could not have seen Barata with Anita. I really can't afford it.

I can't live with the past, can I? It's not that easy to forget everything, what to do??

Should I be selfish? become a snatch for a husband? Oh my!!!! I still have feelings too. What if I'm in Anita's position? Be ill.

Indeed I have to study sincerely, I must be able to accept all this. Even though I don't like it. Maybe what I don't like is the best for me, and what I like, isn't necessarily good for me. Only God knows my way of life.

Allah's? Allah's?

Suddenly I remembered what the big boy said.

..."Doesn't peingin ngadu? cepet"...

..."Not so neng, usually if people again there is a problem that likes to ngadu, ngadu to make a life. let in please, the problem is in kelarin, the easyin. Iih eneng mah that"...

I have been far from Allah, praying if I remember and not my priority all this time, O Allah.. Forgive Servant.

"Mbak Jeng" Mbok Kamti knocked on my bedroom door. Disperse the whole mind raging in the chest.

He must be saying goodbye to going home.

"Yes Mbok" I moved, opening the door.

"Kulo bade wangsul riyin, mbok mbak Ajeng madosi memkin" True my guess, mbok Kamti bedamitan me the time he will go home, afraid if I look for him he does not exist.

"Eh Mbok, stop. Here come in first, I want to ask for a moment. "I pulled Mbok Kamti's hand to sit on my bed.

"I'd like to ask, but don't laugh at it" I'm actually embarrassed to say.

"I want to learn Njai, can you tell me, who can help me learn njai?" A wish and a question I let out without thinking.

While Mbok Kamti just smiled at me, while rubbing my hair tendrils.