The Fate that is Overlooked
28
Ajeng woke up when he felt his stomach feel hungry, struggling to fill. The hour hand shows at 11 p.m. He jumped in shock, then hurried down to head to his mother's room, hoping that Mother had not left yet. But in fact the room is no longer inhabited, there is only a distinctive fragrance of the mother out to her nose when she entered the room. His eyes accidentally caught a black flat object on top of the nightstand.
Hemm, Mom's phone is left behind. How will I communicate with my mother like this?
Guilt ambushed him, he offered to prepare for Mother's needs, in fact he himself denied it. Then he headed to the kitchen, opening a serving hood containing fried chicken and a terasi sambel. Maybe if this is during the day the food is very delicious, but this time he wants a bowl of boiled noodles with a sprinkling of fried onions and chili powder with a complement of eggs and mustard vegetables. Just imagining it had already made his saliva full in his mouth residence.
With full spirit he began to concoct the desired material. And not until 10 minutes, the food he made was presented with epic in front of him.
There was a sense of excitement in his heart, did he need to tell Barata that Mom's phone was left behind? or call Anita?
Ahh, they must have communicated with each other. Surely Anita told Barata that Mom's phone was left behind. Maybe I don't need to tell you. It's not a very important thing. I don't want to bother them with unimportant news from me.
Ajeng who had been eating while staring at Mother's phone paused to contact Barata. When he finished, he went back to his room. But when passing through Barata's room, the room whose door was never open was seen showing the contents of the inside of the room.
Maybe Mom just entered, and in a hurry, I forgot to close and locked it back. Ajeng like being encouraged to go inside, see how the contents of the room of the person who once occupied his heart with a million sweet memories of High School first.
Ajeng POV
Everything is still stored in a medium-sized box that is on his study table, from the reply of love letters from me, photos of him at school first, and, good who was gathered with his genk, a photo with classmates and class guardians, and, the photo of the two of us still looks timid up to the photo when we were paired as representatives of the class to become favorite men and women between levels. The photo at the bottom is covered with pink papers from me and some of his already-soldiers. I smiled wryly, it felt like the corner of my heart was pinched with what I was seeing right now. Is he in his right mind to keep all this in his room? how about I find out? or Mbok War who found when cleaning his room?
I closed the box that was originally coupled with books arranged so neatly. A sign that no one dared to touch her. What else opens it.
I sat on the edge of the bed, holding the box I found earlier. I'm gonna take this box out of this house, it could be dangerous if anyone finds out. Especially with my current status and him, I'm his brother-in-law and he's the husband of another woman.
I looked around the dimly lit room, immediately I looked for a switch to change the light to be brighter, and sure enough this pastel-tinted room was so soothing. As warm as the owner.
I inhale the fragrance of his room deeply, hoping to still leave his distinctive fragrance. But I did not find. He's been gone too long, just smelling his body I can't smell. My eyes caught the objects hanging on the wall next to his study desk, there were some bracelets and necklaces he still kept. And that's all I can clearly and quickly recognize. Those are my gift items as we celebrate our anniversary each year. Akh Barata's.
I approached and observed them one by one, and they were true. My eyes caught a book familiar to me. The pink book that is mine. Bara, you kept it?
He still keeps it? My race was getting crowded.I reopen the book, I read slowly my hatchlings are getting worn out. It's laughable! I laughed to myself. Barata also wrote something there.
...Dear, sweetheart...
...Such a painful way, like thousands of daggers piercing the heart of my heart. Pediii!...
...The person I love more than myself, with my feet together,...
...This is how you repay my wait all this time? I who struggle daily to stay alive in the midst of the turmoil of training and war, I who always fly prayers and hopes of goodness for you, and your face that I always frame with love, with love and affection, in fact, inversely proportional to what I see today, you are so willing to do this to me...
...I could drag you down and tell everyone that you're my girlfriend. But I can still rejoice to hold everything back, there are so many hearts that I must take care of. My sister and brother. And what do they say about you later? I can still control my emotions with all of that. I'm still sane not to embarrass you in front of my family and your own family....
...What really made you disappear from my circulation? Everything related to you is gone like the earth. It's hard to find, hard to find. Until suddenly you came to me by yourself with your new status. Even you selfishly wouldn't explain anything to me, nor was I ever given the chance to speak to you....
...I swear by whatever my love is for you and everything will be reduced in the least....
My crying broke instantly. I was really broken for the umpteenth time, crushed to pieces. I never, at all, ever thought at all about how she felt all along. I was selfish, not daring to reveal my heart, feeling as if I was the most wounded man, the saddest man in all of this. I cried sobbing that everything I've harbored all these years alone. A bitter cry that only my own ears can hear.
I can't save my heart, nor his heart. It's all too late now. After all this time I realized, he was the man I loved so much, still holding the same taste for me. But now, everything is different. In a matter of hours. She really belongs to another woman.
I was crying, feeling sorry for myself. But the sanity of my heart tells me, if he still loves me, why should he be with Anita? Why did Anita have to marry him?
I really was like a madman at the moment, crying and laughing simultaneously. What kind of shit is this? fuck the love he said. I immediately grabbed my memoriam items with him, put them in the box I was holding earlier, and brought them as quickly as possible out of Barata's room.
Keep it in the closet Mas Ren, as deep as possible so that no one can reach. I hope when he gets home, he won't feel lost. Where maybe he will feel lost, a new figure, now present complete it, there will be no me in his heart. Too confident if I still hope that what I see and read is the truth.
Sometimes our vision can be wrong in interpreting something, because what we see is not necessarily true, enough to convince ourselves that everything is finished and over, it's the best at the moment.
...If only I could turn back the clock, I would have chosen to hate you from the start...
...Why???...
...Because I will only be hurt by my own feelings for you, the person I love, many times...
...Right???...
