The Fate that is Overlooked

3

Ajeng POV

I thought, I've been asleep a long time. I saw the clock on the nightstand at 23:05 WIB. It turned out that it had only been about 2 hours that I closed my eyes . I saw my bed that was too big for me to inhabit by myself, too big. Now I'm going to live on my own, whether until when, forever.. Maybe, I don't know.

It's been a week since I haven't slept properly, accompanying my husband in the ICU, who is helpless with so many medical devices that I don't even know what they are. All I know is that it's all that's gonna make my husband heal.

It felt like a dream, so fast and ended up too sick!!!!

And it turns out that destiny is not on my side, destiny is taking him from me by force, destiny is laughing at me, so cruel is destiny on me.

My heart feels like it's squeezed by a big rock, tightness and pain. I never thought I'd be in this position right now, slumped down on my own, crying for his own death like this, in the corner of a room in the dark of the night.

The voices of people talking sounded faint. Once in a while there was no sound at all, then it sounded again and so on.

I'm so tired, so tired. If I could, could I go with him too? I regretted the time, when she invited me to go with her before the incident, I would rather stay at home. Reasoning that my mother will come.

And indeed mama came, to side with me who she said lately was so worried about me. I don't know how a mother feels so strong. No more than an hour after he left, and my mother had just set foot, getting out of an online taxi, I received word that my husband had a traffic accident.

It all happened so fast, I didn't care about myself at the time, just entered the online taxi that my mom had just dropped off, and we went together to the hospital where Reno was being treated. In the car mom kept strengthening me, guiding me to keep on being privileged. And I could only follow his orders with tears still breaking from my eyes.

My heart was broken when I saw his condition, and it was getting worse when I heard the doctor say that the brain injury suffered by Reno was quite severe, and the possibility of recovery was very small. Even if there is a miracle to heal, later in his daily mobility, he will need a lot of help from others.

I don't know what I was feeling at the time, confused, angry, disappointed, but to whom? I can't take my feelings out on anyone. All I could do was cry, beg in front of my husband to wake up. Whether he heard or not my words during his coma, every day I just begged him to come to his senses, to see me by his side, to hold on for me. To realize the dreams that we have knit together. This morning he gave up completely. Leaving me with a heart buried with his body.

I was really disappointed, blaming everything on God. For me God was so cruel to me, many times he gave me love, many times he also found that love.

Why am I given love when it ends in endless pain? why would he send someone who just stopped and incised wounds? wh-wh-what for? wh-wh-what for?

My reflex bating everything in the bedside nightstand. To make a sound that could suppress my ears and did not take long, the sound of the room door that was opened roughly rang out, along with the swift footsteps of people who asked me. Crying and screaming worried about me.

My chest became increasingly tight from my bated and silent cries, and I felt a pair of burly hands grabbing onto my body along with the loss of my consciousness.

"He just fainted, no need to worry. I will put an infusion to mbak Ajeng so that his body does not lose so much fluid."

I did not know how long I had been unconscious, until I finally faintly heard a foreign voice in my ear.

"Well, thank you very much sir"

This time it was my mother's voice I heard.

"Employed not too much thought, must always be accompanied by ya ma'am, given continued support do not stay alone" The foreign voice was heard again.

"Yes sir" now a mother's voice answered.

I did hear voices around me, but it felt so reluctant that these eyes opened. I'm really tired. I don't want to think or see around me right now. All I want is for all my memory today to be gone from my mind. That'sallthatis.

I felt that there was no one in my room anymore. And when I was just about to start opening my eyes, I heard a cell phone ringing.

"Yes hello Nit"

A voice familiar to my ears and heart.

"Yes, I arrived at 7 o'clock, sorry I haven't been able to tell you"

"....... "

"..... "

"I can't decide yet Nit, my family's in mourning"

"..... "

"I beg to understand"

".... "

"As far as you go"

"....... "

"Yes, I'm the same. Good night"

My eyes were still closed, after hearing the voice that I had completely avoided all this time, I really did not want to open the matu. Until I felt him approaching me, pulling a chair across my bed.

"How's Sweetbrown doing? Can I call you that? ahh, you're getting so sweet"

I felt her fingers clasping tightly to my fingers, gently rubbing my wedding ring with Reno.

"There are still many questions and statements that I want to convey, but all is no longer possible to say. I no longer have the right to ask or explain, I've hurt you too deeply"

I held my tears hard so as not to escape. Choose to tighten my eyelids more.

"If only you had waited patiently for me, given me time to explain everything, maybe things would never have been like this, I'm sorry"

Her hand squeezed gently on my finger, I can feel her hand shaking, I don't know. I'm so tired just to guess.

"I'm about to marry Sweety, and that person isn't you... "

"Honey, why... want to nemenin mama and Ajeng here?"

This time I heard the voice of my mother approaching. Reflex he took off his hand at me.

"Pity Ajeng himself ma, so I wait for him until mama comes"

"Yes rest, you must have cape. Let mama here accompany Ajeng, you are not his muhrim"

Mom's laughter and she sounded restrained. Maybe I'm afraid I'm waking up. Until finally the sound of the door closed and my bed moved, a sign mama began to ride it. Sleeping next to me and holding me tight.

"Good rest dear" her delicate voice rang out in my ear followed by a warm kiss on my forehead.

And my bleak long days are now beginning

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