That man is my husband

Weird Dreams

"Astag."

I woke up from my sleep. I don't know why these days I've always had nightmares. Even when I woke up my breath was always panting, sweat soaking all over my body. Really, it's a weird dream and somehow I got scared like this.

I turned to the clock on the nightstand next to the bed. Time has shown three in the morning less than ten minutes. So I decided to wake up and immediately perform tahajud and istikharah prayers.

A week ago, after Aa met with Mr. Zain and Keanu then told them what I wanted to say. I decided to do istikharah immediately. To this day there has been no clue except the dream, even if it is a clue why should it be so scary? I don't know if I don't know the answer.

For now I will remain beristikharah, if the dream is again present means I must choose it even with an unusual clue.

After performing tahajud and istikharah prayers. I did not go back to sleep, it felt like these eyes could not be invited to sleep, it felt .. The dream was afraid to repeat itself. Finally, I chose to read the Quran until dawn.

During Istikharah, I rarely greet with Mr. Zain or Keanu. Even with Keanu having never seen him for a week. It seems like they are really giving me space and time in my process of istikharah. However, I feel there is less in this week. I don't know what the cause is, which is for sure when Mr. Zain and Keanu stay away while like there is less.

Did I miss? Then who do I miss? I don't know! I don't know which of the two men I miss. What is clear is that there is less and this heart feels unsettled.

Astagfirullah, hmm since when did I become like this? This is not me, I know the boundaries of a Muslim woman with Muslims and now I am out of bounds. Missing someone I miss. Oh heart, please don't be like this.

***

Today the college is off. To divert the feeling in the heart that suddenly could not be controlled, I decided to go to the foundation "Consider Fellow". I have not visited them for a long time, maybe with them a little can divert the turmoil in the heart.

I went down the stairs, with eyes busy looking for someone. I smile when someone I see with my eyes.

"Mom, good morning." I approached Uma who was arranging food at the dinner table and landed a kiss on her cheek.

"Morning is also dear" said Uma and returned a kiss on my cheek.

"Where is she going? How is gini style?" ask Uma who realized that this morning I was neat.

"Ais going to the foundation, Uma. I haven't been there for a long time, miss them," I said.

"Breakfast first, yeah. Uma just let me go."

I can not refuse, breakfast together has indeed become a family activity that must be followed. If Abi says, starting the day with togetherness will make the relationship more bound. And one of them starts the morning with breakfast together is one of them. Okay, I accept Abi's opinion.

"Daddy, go to the foundation?" aa asked suddenly as I was heating the gemoy's machine.

"Yes, A. Ais kangen children's foundation. Wh why? Aa wanna come?" I looked up at Aa.

"Aa'll take you there. Mumpung Aa free."

"It seems that now Ais has a loyal bodyguard, nih," I chanted and hoped that Aa would not be offended.

"Aa indeed have the intention, guard you until halal. Arrive at the halalin of the man who will be your priest."

Ah, it feels like nano-nano gini. Aa really moved me. I feel like I'm the most beloved sister. Uh, but I'm Aa's only sister.

Unknowingly, Aa had just sat on top of the gemoy. So absorbed Aa's attention, I daydreamed instead.

"Come, Dik, up!"

"Eh, yes, Ais put on a helmet first."

When weekends like this the streets are tenuous, not as chaotic as ordinary days. The journey to the foundation was passed easily without any obstacles.

About fifteen minutes drive, Aa and I reached the Foundation. Just as the gemoy entered the courtyard of the foundation, my eyes were already startled by the two vehicles I recognized.

The same vehicle when there are guests at home. And I know who the owner is.

"Dad! Bengong? Come down, he said kangen same kids."

"Yes A."

"Why are you, anyway, from the house bengong his job. What was? Try the story to Aa."

"It's okay, A."

"Duarius, A."

"You are this." Aa smiled at my behavior.

A moment later, Aa and I walked in. But I heard the laughter of the children. Laughter is like watching a comedy or maybe laughing at a funny event.

"The boys laughed so loosely" said Aa and I agreed.

"Yes, A. There may be more volunteers. Because usually if the weekend is always filled with sports."

"A's going there, yeah. Wanna see them."

I nodded, while I stepped foot into the boardroom of the foundation.

"Assalamu'alaikum."

"Waalaikumsalam," they answered in unison.

"Well, the mother of the new children looks, nih. Where is Mother? Children continue to be confused to give reasons what else," Ida said while hugging.

"Afwan, yes. I seem to be troubling you guys," I regret apologizing.

"Acis Flashing. To be taken seriously" Tiara said.

I hugged one of the female volunteers. Seraya said sorry.

"But I was wrong."

"Here you go, I've also met gini. After you do not come here, every day there are always two maximum handsome volunteers coming here. At least they are amused and a little forget about you. Ah, how come I'm thinking of that handsome volunteer," Tiara muttered to herself.

"Eh, remember the sins!" Ida patted Tiara on the shoulder.

"You're the shingles."

Their actions always make me laugh. Of the fifteen female volunteers only Ida and Tiara were the most chatty and if discussing men they were her handlers.

What if they find out I'm here with Aa? Maybe they'll be hysterical. Because these two women are big fans of A Rey. After saying hello I also permission to the Hall. The place where the foundation residents gather. I wanted to make sure what I thought was true or was just the same vehicle but a different person.

***

"What do you want to tell them?" ask Aa.

Right now I am outside the Hall, when I know that what I guessed is true, of course I was shocked.

Why are they always in the same place? It was as if they were making a deal.

This accidental meeting was meant to clarify my process of istikharah. They seem to be curious about the decision I'm going to make. But I reiterate to them, if indeed I have found the answer will immediately call them. I will choose one of them directly in front of the family.

"Just tell them, when it's time they'll have to face the family."

"Did you get the answer?"

"Ais not sure, A. Some days ice is often dreaming, there is one of them present in the dream. But, my dream is weird."

"Weird why?"

"Yes, A. The ice cannot be clear. Now Aa's there, except for what I said."

"Aa curious. Who you choose."

"Repo."

I pushed Aa's body to immediately convey my words to them. While avoiding the clumsiness of A Rey.