Not Suited to Exposure

Want to understand

It's three in the afternoon. I put on my sweater as an outfit and took my backpack. Go down the stairs and look for Mama.

Mom is taking care of her hobby. It is flower gardening. It seems that today Mama is supplying a new type of flower, visible from several pots located in front of the terrace. While my favorite woman looks back and forth lifting him one by one.

"Ma, you're going to Andin's house?" I said goodbye as I approached Mama.

Mama frowned. "Isn't the group working here?"

"Not so. At Andin's house."

Mama narrowed her eyes. I hesitated to give permission. I'm pasting. "Mama."

Mama took a breath. "Yes already."

I drew a big smile. Mama's hands I'm gamit and I'm salami.

"When you come home at night, call. Wanna?"

"Ready."

I left the flower-filled yard to the front of the complex. Then look for a vehicle, an angkot or a bus that I can find there.

I shook my head. I don't know why I couldn't get Rael out of my head. I haven't seen his face. Maybe there's a bonyok there, who knows. He didn't call me either. No chat, no calls.

Why do I expect so much?

I let out a breath. I turned on the air plane mode and saved my phone into my backpack.

I was so upset that it felt so cramped.

All the way I was silent. The first person to arrive at Andin's house was me. Andin led me into his room on the second floor. Laptops and other equipment are available.

I sat down on the floor and looked at Andin who was busy flicking through the curtains of her window. "Andrian the same Juna came?"

Andin turned to approach me. "Gue guarantees to come. I've already dropped their names on the group list."

I'm laughing a little. Remembering the two naughtiest guys makes me imagine their lazy faces coming here. I'm sure they didn't come to work, but just to sleep around or play cell phones while the women were busy completing group tasks.

For as long as I know, Adrian, who has been my classmate for two years, is the most lazy guy I know. The goal is to come to school just sleep, play games, wandering during PBM or other quality activities. And Juna is his minions.

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When I returned, a thin drizzle accompanied my steps. Holding the hoodie I put on my head, I carried my feet running from the front of the compound towards the house.

The rain came without warning. I sped up my pace as I entered the courtyard and breathed a sigh of relief upon reaching the terrace. I really hate getting wet with a full outfit like this.

My wet shoes I took off and I just put them in the corner of the terrace. Then I lifted the end of my sweater to remove it from my body. Instantly my body was hit by a cold wind because the short-sleeved shirt I used was unable to protect my body.

"Where?"

I was aghast in shock as a familiar heavy voice asked from behind. I blinked as soon as I knew that a handsome guy was holding his chest against the frame of the door. A question full look was put on me.

I picked up the backpack and shoes I had put on the floor. "Group work at Andin's house" I answered past him into the house.

I climbed the stairs and I could hear footsteps following me upstairs. I stopped after opening the door to my room and looked at her.

Rael stood in front of me. I gave a grinning smile and with my index finger pressed against his chest. "Holy border" I said and closed the door.

But not deliverable. With his right hand, Rael held the door open slightly. I blinked as Rael looked at me with furrowed brows. "Why is hape lo not active? My chat?"

Should I answer if I intentionally?

I don't know what reaction Rael gave. I was confused by my own attitude. Why am I so angry that he looks confused? I sat in front of the mirror and looked at myself.

Rael looks fine. No bruises or wounds. A frown on his forehead or on his eyebrows is a sign that Rael is still the same. Stubborn guy and a mastermind. I think the fight was at least able to make Rael stop frowning or fusing his eyebrows, because it really sucks and makes me anxious to scratch it.

Why does this relationship feel cold?

I let out a breath. Start thinking about the moments two years ago and compare them to the times of the year. We had a relationship at the time. Same kind of relationship, but why does it feel different.

It was Rael who slowly moved away and I who was slowly learning to let go.

"It's a long time!!"

I rolled my eyeballs as the pounding with the exclamation disturbed my daydream. As usual, Rael can never be patient for more than five minutes. I imagined what kind of face he was making right now.

I tidied up my slightly tangled hair then immediately exited the room. When I opened the door, the first thing I saw was Rael's irritated face, again with furrowed brows.

"Why did I find it in school? Why is my chat being baled? Why are you not active?"

I blinked and opened my mouth to answer.

"Why didn't I come home?" cut it.

I'm speechless. Why is Rael acting like she's a protective boyfriend?

Rael looks really upset. I stretched out my hand and rubbed the frown on his forehead. "Today is my busy day. Sorry," I said, choosing to give up.

There's no way I'm saying it because I'm angry to see her with Malika, right?

I don't know. I just feel unworthy to say that.

"If you like to grumble like this, you can get premature aging" I said and Rael held onto my wrist that rubbed his forehead.

"Don't talk, don't talk" he said.

I pulled my hand off. "Gue doesn't want to go out with the old man, yes" I replied indifferently and left him down the stairs to the bottom floor.

The sound of footsteps coming from behind me was clearly heard. Ignored him. I know my boyfriend is really upset. I saw Mama was working on something in the pantry, so I sat in one of the chairs in front of the dining table. Rael stood beside me. The frown on his forehead increased making me sigh.

Why is my boyfriend so childish?

"There's no wound, right?" many finally.

Rael did not answer my question directly. I looked at him, waiting for his reaction. He looked back at me with his mouth closed.

Then, as I expected, Rael exhaled and the frown on her forehead faded.

I have this habit of his. Rael wants me to show you my care. I know he's fighting, but doesn't seem to care. Maybe that's what he thinks.

But I don't think he needs that. My concern.

There are so many people who care about it. I'm just one of those many people.

My chest is tight again. I feel upset again.

Rael demands a lot from me. But I can't demand anything from him. He wants me to care, but he doesn't seem to care about me.

I want, at least once, Rael to feel what it's like to be me.

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