Not Suited to Exposure

3. Broken Heart?

After school I chose to go to the library to extend the book loan period and borrow some more. I walked silently and tried not to get caught while overtaking between the people in the noisy corridor as everyone was chatting and joking.

I don't like it. I'm not the kind of talkative talker who talks a lot. I didn't like the noise even though I was always amused when I heard Andin and Liona fighting each other. I like the quiet atmosphere, but sometimes I like to wear earphones and set the maximum volume so that no sound is heard except the sound of music.

Do I sound weird?

The library looked empty at the time. I put my bag on one of the tables and looked for the books I needed on his shelves. Suddenly I remembered that I had to return Rael's jacket that I had carried in my bag.

I don't know if he's home yet. But I guess he's still in the gym to take care of his favorite futsal business.

Me: Rael, are you home?

I sent him a message to make sure.

Rael: Not yet

Rael: Why?

His reply was long enough to make me smile thinly because he was still here.

**Me: Lo jacket

Me: Want me anther?

Rael: No need

Rael: I'll pick you up

Rael: Location?

Me :Perpuss**

I kept my phone and continued my activities while waiting for Rael to come. A novel by Nicholas Spark is in my hands. I don't know why I'm interested in pulling this novel and opening the page. From what I hear, this one writer always writes stories with a sad plot.

"Son Loona."

I looked and smiled a little. "Talita."

Talita this is a classmate I know well. Journalistic child that I helped when he became a new student at this school. He glanced at the novel I was holding.

"Are you heartbroken?" he asked half a joke.

I frowned in confusion and stared at the novel that was in my hands. "Breaked heart?"

"The novel is about people who can't live with the people they love. So I think brother's heartbroken."

So. I smiled and stared at the novel. I may not be the time for a broken heart. Haven't. Just waiting for the time I predicted won't be long. But the novel can also. Who knows, I could cite some tips if my heart is broken again.

"So. Kidding."

I heard Talita laughing, making me shift my gaze. I can't smile anymore. So I asked him about something else.

"Journalism this year is interesting, yes" I said. Intentionally not wanting to discuss the topic of heartbreak.

As expected, Talita responded excitedly. "We want to have a journal competition for each class. Still planning." anyway."

"Oh yeah? There's no leak?" askaju kidding.

Talita. "Son" she replied, childishly making me laugh.

Suddenly deheman's voice interrupted. I straightened my body when I saw that Rael was already standing next to the table.

"Take it back, brother."

Talita hastily said goodbye and I just agreed. Rael sat down in front of me and folded his hands on the table. I gave her a smile and both of my arms were secretly covering the cover of Nicholas Spark's novel so Rael wouldn't see it. Then, as I was about to pick up my jacket, I put the novel on the chair beside me.

"Gue didn't bring your jacket" he said after receiving his jacket.

"Sir papa. I can." sometime too."

Rael did not answer again. The guy sighed and put his head on the table.

I looked at him concerned. I think his futsal activities made him so exhausted. So I stretched out my hand and rubbed the head with that soft dense hair.

"So how?"

"It's on Friday. Lastly," he replied without raising his head.

I'm not saying anymore. Somehow I noticed my own fingers tucking between Rael's hairs. I began to think about eliminating this one habit so that someday I would not feel too lost.

"Gue took care of this first" I said. I saw him nod slowly so I continued my steps forward to take care of borrowing these books.

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I finished the novel in all night with a jockeying. Ja. I borrowed. The result was that there were some leftover wipes wiping my face that were soaked because this novel was so emotionally draining. The next day, my eyes swell and feel sore.

"What are your eyes?"

Ask Papa when I go downstairs. I shook my head while sitting on the dining table chair.

"Watch Pa's play."

I glanced at the woman beside me. My sister is 3 years older than me. Alma, who is now in sixth semester.

I chose not to answer ignoring Papa who shook his head, and chose to open the refrigerator door. Took a few blocks of ice to compress my eyes. It will not remove the swelling, but enough to make it decrease.

"Alu," call Mama.

Mom took the ice in my hand. "You eat first. Let Mama be ready. Prattler. There will be no time to compress it."

I smiled broadly. "Yes Mama. Thanks." Thanks." I hugged Mama a glance and returned to the dining table for breakfast.

◻◻◻

Rael invited me to eat together in the cafeteria during the first break. The guy even happily ordered my food while I was told to wait for him.

Sweet right?

I frowned as I looked at the two boxes of milk beside my bowl. "Two milk cookies?" many wonder. I'm sure Rael doesn't like this milk, so it's kind of weird that he's drinking all of a sudden.

"Because you eat spicy."

The answer was short but I strangely smiled while staring at the batagor that I deliberately ordered rather spicy than usual.

Why didn't he forbid me to eat spicy?

I shook his shoulders and when Rael looked at me I deliberately kept busy with my bricks. I don't want him asking about the swelling of my eyes today. I don't think he needs to know about that. Seeing my disappointment, Rael finally chose to continue eating until I breathed a sigh of relief.

◻◻◻

I'm not focused on learning today. The stories that the novel tells make me constantly imagined the plot. Moreover, I accidentally rubbed my eyes making it hurt.

I feel like I'm going to cry again.

So I borrowed Andin's notes for me to copy at home. I'm sure my record was absurd because I recorded what I heard.

Rael told me he couldn't take me home. I just sighed. I don't want him to think I'm just concerned with it as a mere means of transportation. I never asked him to drive me. I just need his earnestness, even though I can only hope.

"Lo put on my jacket."

"No need. I just returned yesterday."

"Lulu Carry. It will rain."

I rolled my eyeballs and stopped just as I was going down three steps to get out of the school building. "Gue's on the bus. Even if it rains, I will not get wet. You ride the motor."

Rael lowered her shoulders but her gaze turned sharp. "Why did he?"

If this is the case, I can no longer say no. I know Rael very well. It means he's very upset. At times it can be very forced. Well, whose kid is this?

I wear that jacket with a wrinkled face. Rael helped me by pulling my pinched hair and tidying it up. "That's rock. Why would I want to date you anyway?"

I knew he was just upset and his head was already hot facing me. Mama also often said 'Why can you be a child Mama anyway?' if I was stubborn. But somehow I was stunned when I heard those words from Rael's mouth.

Why would I be her boyfriend?

I blinked and looked at him who was still tidying up my hair. "Because you've cut off your boyfriend."

She's stunned. When I saw her pupils dilate, I was stunned. Surprised by my own words.

Oh my God, what have I said?

My mouth opened while Rael looked at me with her eyes wide open. Before Rael said anything, I hurriedly turned around and ran away leaving him.

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