Not Suited to Exposure

Uncontrolled

*That feelings come and go without permission.

But when they came true, they won't stop*.

As hard as I try to ignore, the truth is that I always go back to where he is.

I hateit. I hate myself.

Uncontrolled.

"Stop or I flush again using dishwater."

My last sentence managed to attract the attention of both.

◻◻◻

"You go first" I said to Liona and Andin.

The two looked at each other before shaking compactly. "can't. We promised to be your bodyguard."

I pulled each one of his hands. "Gue please. I have something to clarify here. Please, let me take care of everything."

Andin and Liona did not immediately reply. Her rails seemed to be unacceptable but they finally agreed to leave me alone.

I took a deep breath. As soon as the UKS door closed from the outside, I turned towards the two people who had just been fighting in the canteen.

Don't blame me for bringing them to the UKS, but if caught by a BK teacher, it's worse.

I blinked. The two looked at me and then I realized what I had done.

I was suddenly nervous. What am I supposed to say?

Damnit.

"Jadi—"

"Diem!" cut me.

What's?! Aloona!

I was silent for a few seconds. I honestly don't know what to talk about.

Then, I heard the delinquent snort. I looked at him while he looked at Rael.

"Lo's not knocked me out twice. First because of the mayor, who certainly has nothing to do with you. Second because of your ex, who also has no relationship with you because he was already an ex. So what do you really want? You're really looking for my same problem?"

Rael looked at him flatly. "Lo's looking for my same problem. What's your purpose in disturbing him?"

"Lo forgot he'd spew me?"

"The one that was watered was me. Lo aja that's so decadent to be flush," Rael's sergeant.

"Have a son to say."

"Why? Wanna fight?"

I closed my eyes and breathed. My head suddenly dizzy hearing their debate. Instead of looking like enemies, they actually look like good friends who when fighting become very childish.

The hoodlum snorted again and looked at me. "So what do we do in the UKS? Do you want to see my wounds?" his tanyak makes me cringe. "Now, my lips. Very good at tonjok ex-lo."

There was a small wound there. It's not much different than Rael. There was a bruise on his face. But the difference is, Rael does not seem to be too concerned about the wound.

"Sir" I replied. "Gue just don't want you to give birth to my name."

Both of them silently looked at me. "It's up to you guys to fight. Fighting to death is none of my business, but don't carry my name. I don't want anyone to say I'm a fan of it."

"Hmm, if Malika can?" said that delinquent guy I don't know his name. He grins thinly. I know he's just trying to heat me up.

"May," I replied firmly. "Sheva can too."

I blinked twice. Just realized what I said.

Aloona Stupid.

I maintained my expression and tried to calm down.

"Sheva who? Lo's affair?" ask that guy to Rael. "Oo you guys broke up because of this Sheva?"

Rael growled at the guy. "Lo's mouth is really slippery."

"Aloona. Wait a minute."

I failed to open the door because Rael suddenly held me back. "Gue wants to talk, by the way" he said.

Before I answered, Rael had already turned back inside and back while dragging the hoodlum out of the UKS. The door is also locked from the inside.

I was suddenly nervous. "Why locked? Danger." I muttered at the end of the word.

Rael didn't say anything. The guy glanced at the door and hit it hard. "Don't nguping!!" he shouted and followed by the voices of people complaining from outside.

I averted my eyes. This time it felt awkward. Other than that we had no relationship anymore, the pain was still lingering.

"Lo nahan I'm not just for diem-dieman only right?" I asked in the end because she kept quiet for quite a while.

"Gue didn't know where to start" he said slowly.

I raised my gaze and looked at him in confusion. "What about?"

"Misunderstanding."

"Which misunderstanding?" I was half amused to ignore the eyebrow link showing his dislike.

"If I tell you a story, you want to hear it?"

I'm shaking. "Do not have a story. I can't believe you anymore."

"But you have to beat me up." he insisted.

I'm holding back my annoyance. "Let me be clear. We broke up. There's no relationship anymore. So even if you tell a story, it won't change anything" I said. "We are different. Not match. There's just trouble, bickering, trouble again, bickering again."

"But you don't have to break up either."

I stopped myself from laughing because of her words. "Don't have to break up?"

Haha you jerk.

"Rael, let me tell you. I can't have a relationship where I'm the only one who hopes while one person doesn't expect me at all. You should thank me, I've given you the way and you have no burden if you want to keep my feelings."

Rael took a breath with pursed lips. "Aloona, I told you that my feelings never change?" ask her with a soft tone. "Neither Malika nor Sheva. Or anyone else. And I never lied about it."

I looked at him expressionlessly. "The rain is always a rainbow. Sometimes it seems that sometimes it's not, but there must be," I said.

"Gue believes that there will be another happiness for me. That's also with you." I looked at him. "Find your own happiness," I said at the end.

◻◻◻

I passed Sheva when I was about to enter the classroom. I was about to pretend not to see her, but her rather awkward condition caught my attention.

His face looks flat and his eye bags are there. It looked alarming, similar to my condition this morning.

Isn't that weird? Yesterday he broke us up, shouldn't he be happy?

He's past me. Not a word was said either from him or from myself.

I took a breath and entered the class. I just went in because the class was in a group discussion.

"Almost I went out to nolongin lo" Liona said.

I looked at him confused.

"So you met a traitorous ally. There's a fear of a third world war" he continued.

What ever, Liona.

"Lo know if the volleyball team lost the tournament yesterday?" ask Andin.

"The story is, yesterday Rael came to the volleyball team and dragged Sheva outside. No one knows what to do but he says your ex is angry. On the contrary, his face was like a cry. Trus pas sparring often kecolongan. They lost and his team beat him for playing ugly."

I'm speechless. Don't know what to say. I don't know if I should be concerned or happy.

Do I sound bad? But I can't lie to my feelings. On the one hand I feel pity, on the other hand there is a feeling of satisfaction.

I held my chin up with both hands on the table. "Ribet," I murmured slowly.

◻◻◻