Love and My Teachings
Part 126's.
"In My past, it was too much for Me to tell you this in advance, the Doer ! " Silvia said with a tired look, He was tired of giving explanations.
...❀...
...❀...
...❀...
...❀...
...❀...
...❀...
"I want Raisa's sister, I want Resa's sister to be the first person, who knows the problem. I want those who embrace Me first, I want those who advise Me first, I want them to give Me their understanding and affection, and I want those who say that all of her will be fine ! I just want to hear that from the two of them, because they are both the best Kaka in my opinion. "
"Ep.... " The response of Noa who wants to hear Silvia speak and is more open to her Self.
"Because they should have known about this problem three and a half years ago. I should have told them all that, I should have told them all this, but I chose to run away from reality. "
"And it took me three and a half years, so I could realize, that running away from problems won't solve problems. Anything that will happen is I will just create new problems, I will make many people worry, I will make Kak Resa and Kak Raisa who care about Me, who is close to Me, who has been with Me ever since I grew up from childhood to adulthood. They will be very worried. "
"Maybe you don't believe this, but Noa, for these three and a half years, I've been really, really, really, really tormented. I was really tormented because there was no support from my family. Even though Nando and Lusi cared for Me, their concern for me was definitely limited. Not like the care I get from Resa and Raisa. The affection I get from Papa and Mama even though they are often busy, which I get from the people in my house, the workers in my house, the workers in my house, and yes I just realized and I just found out that a lot of people care about me after I ran away for a year while I was pregnant and giving birth to Brayen. Well you're right, that Brayen is my son ! "
"When I'm clear, don't you get to this point, you understand what I mean, right Noa ? You know that right take it I'm not kidding right now ? That I am really a very fragile silvia now. So please don't make me more fragile and make me fall before gaining the strength of Kak Resa and Kak Raisa. "
"I'm sure if I had told them both, they would both have given me very helpful input right now. So Noa told me, can you agree with what I'm saying, right ? Or do you still want to defend Your will, which is for Me to tell all the events happening to You and I here, right now ? "Ask Silvia who wanted to get an answer from Noa, just as Silvia wanted to. Because after going through a long explanation, it is not funny if Noa still does not understand his position.
"Well, if that's your will, I'll follow it. I do not want to urge You, if the way I spoke from earlier made You cornered, I only want if Your cornered self will tell all of it to Me. But unfortunately I do not take into account how stubborn You are, so now calm down and believe in Me, then I also beg you not to run away from Me again. "
Noa said while stroking Silvia's shoulder, her eyes were very hopeful, so that Silvia could listen to her request.
"I'd like after from here our relationship doesn't go back to the way we met in the morning. If we meet, treat me like Noa ! Not as Kak Noa or treating Ku like an innocent and innocent Silvia. Treat Me like the silvia currently sitting before Me, so I will wait until whenever you want to talk about it. Either four days from now, four weeks from now, four years from now, even 400 years later, I really don't care, as long as you treat Me like the current Silvia. You do not stay away from Me, You do not constantly run away from Me, then I will believe and will continue to wait until Your self comes to Me, and tells everything.
"I'm not afraid of dying Sil, nor am I afraid of aging. Silvia, what I'm afraid of is that I don't get you for the rest of my life. I want that as long as this breath is still blowing, I want to spend the rest of my breath with you. Until your black hair turns white, until your smooth and tight face becomes wrinkled. I want to spend my old age with you and be surrounded with many grandchildren who surround us, with many children who continue to laugh at them every day. Did you also understand what I mean by Silvia ? "
Silvia was stunned at the word Noa.
"Didn't Noa joke around with Lisa ? didn't the two of them look very suitable to be a couple with each other? Were they not both said to be born for each other, born to perfect each other ? But why was the Noa who was currently in front of me a very gentle Noa, the Noa who was staring seriously but not frighteningly, the Noa who was threatening but with a warm gaze, the one who was looking at me, am I wrong ? was I the one who was less familiar with it all this time? "
"Am I being too sentimental when I'm 17 ? at that time I was just thinking things out, and I thought that what was wrong here was Noa instead of her Me ! Has my mind been too wishy-washy? Is it Me who is too unwilling to admit that I am very unstable? "
"Things like this that make me hate myself so much. Why is it that in My brain there is no system that directly answers all of my self-question questions ? Do I have to figure out the answer by myself ? Finding the answer itself is exhausting. Why do I have to search for that answer with so much difficulty ? Is this more difficult than the formula that Albert Stein could not solve ? "
Silvia ignored Noa who was in front of Him, Silvia was only dissolved and immersed in her own thoughts and it made Noa dislike because she felt herself abandoned.
