It's like saying "I Miss You"

Against the heart

Dewanto stared at his phone screen. Nada's name appears in a list of missed calls. He was forced to ignore phone calls and chats from him according to the agreement he had made with Pandu. Today whether they both went where, Dewanto was forced to pretend not to know. All he did was for Pandu to stay away from Nada. He was forced to concern himself even though his mind was in chaos.

Little by little Dewanto thought a lot about Nada's feelings. Not out of curiosity or meddling, but he was very curious as to what his current feelings were. The feeling of being with Pandu. How did he feel when he was with her? Is that taste the same? Or is there a difference even if it is just a hair?

Dewanto wants to keep Nada away from Pandu. But is it really what he is doing? What if it hurts Nada? If if Nada's feelings lean more towards Pandu, what should he do? Keep fighting and pretending not to know anything? Or will she let the girl gain her happiness? Thinking about things that are uncertain does make his head hot faster.

He should go home sooner today. His family wants to have dinner and get together for a while because tomorrow is the last day of the trial that Sasti must undergo. This time he had to focus on the inner calmness of his only sister. He has no passion for work today. Even though the pile of files next to his desk was waiting to be corrected.

Dewanto's phone is on. A chat message from Nada. The girl was looking for him. Is he not currently with Pandu? His fingers seemed to itch to reply to the chat message, but he had promised not to contact or reply to chat messages from the girl. Should he fight his heart?

*****

Tone's face pouted every time it glanced at his phone. Even the message that from the morning had been sent to Dewanto had not been read. Is it so busy that you can't read the message? It's not usually Dewanto like this. Did he do something wrong yesterday? Or did he know that I was with Pandu? Could he be angry about it?

Both stopped for a moment to refuel. The journey to the top is not as easy as one might imagine. The back of the Tone feels very stiff. For almost three hours he sat quietly in the car. It made him want to get out of the car and slightly stretch his back. Is it really what he is doing now? why is his feeling not calm? Why does his mind always want to come back?

Car Pandu approached Nada who still wanted to stretch the muscles of his body. Tone went back inside the car and sighed lightly. Pandu. Usually something happens or is felt every time Nada sighs. Could it be that the girl was upset?

“What's up? you're not happy we went to the top?” Ask Pandu. He is very familiar with the behavior of Nada if you are upset, bored or angry.

Tone staring at Pandu. Is it as easy as the expression on his face to read by others? Or is it only Pandu who can read his facial expressions? Tone down once again. He had to ask his little heart. Does he really want to go to the shoot with Pandu? But why does his heart seem to say something else? His thoughts always led to Dewanto not replying to his message all day. He has accepted Dewanto's proposal but why did he get here with another man?

“You want to go home?” haggar Pandu opened the conversation that had been quiet from earlier. He realized that Nada was thinking but the girl's eyes always led to his phone which actually had no incoming notification at all.

“I just feel unsettled at something. I promised to be with you all day. It's okay, we can continue the journey.” said Nada while forcing a smile.

Pandu. That smile is compulsion. He knows Nada very well. The girl must have been thinking of Dewanto not replying to her message at all. He must admit that Dewanto is a very principled man. He really did what they agreed. A man who truly keeps his word. Very opposite to himself. Nada deserves to be with Dewanto. Nada shouldn't have obeyed her selfish will at this moment. This meeting will be the last for Pandu.

Pandu started his car engine. He turned the wheel and headed in the opposite direction. Perhaps God reunited her with Nada one last time just to see if she had found out who her heart was anchored to. Demi saw the girl laughing happily with the right choice. Maybe it's time for Pandu to leave quietly without thinking about Nada anymore.

Tone is aware of the change in direction made Pandu. Although he did not say anything, he realized that Pandu chose to return. There is a little relief tucked between his guilt on Pandu. He needs to see Dewanto after returning home. What has the man been doing all day until his message has been ignored? The journey back to the city took place without any conversation between the two.

******

Dewanto slammed the ballpoint pen and massaged his temple which felt thicker than usual. Not because of the pile of files he had to check, but because his mind floated on Nada and Pandu. He regretted the deal he had made with Pandu. He shouldn't have done that crazy deal. Now he regrets it.

After saying goodbye to his secretary, Dewanto headed to his car and left the office. Of course he didn't want to go home. One place that becomes the destination is only Nada kos. He'll wait there until Nada gets home. Surely Mary knew nothing about the Tone that went with Pandu.

It only takes thirty minutes to get to Nada's boarding. Dewanto chose to stay in the car so that no one would see him. Dewanto glanced back at his phone. He cursed himself for not being able to contact Nada. He was really struck by an incredible annoyance. Dewanto turned on the music player while closing his eyes. Muffled a little bit of his frustration.

*******

Car Pandu akhinya until the front of the Nada kos. The girl tidied up some of the things she had taken out during the trip. It's still 4 p.m. It did not matter if he followed to Dewanto's office after finishing bathing and changing clothes. The man had to explain the logical reason why his message was not reciprocated at all.

“Thank you for coming with me for a walk.” said Pandu before Nada finished berberes. The girl's face looked even happier than when she left earlier.

Tone shaking. “I'm the one who should be apologizing. I've agreed to accompany you away, but instead I let you down.”

Tone really feels guilty on Pandu. He shouldn't have a face that's so easy to read. Even to try to please others, he cannot. What happened to Pandu must have been very heavy. He can only hope that Pandu can get through everything well. That man was once everything to Nada. Even he sacrificed everything so that Pandu could laugh. But not this time. His heart has switched.

Tone is getting ready to get out of the car. But prevented by Pandu. “Rest.You must be tired.” he said samba smiling. “Goodbye, Nada.”

Tone was silent for a moment. Why does it feel like a farewell? A moment like a dejavu. At that time Pandu visited the previous Nada workplace outside the city. After spending a short weekend, they had to part ways. Although not saying goodbye words, but Nada felt there was something different about Pandu. That was the last time Pandu met Nada. One week later Pandu ended their relationship.

“See you again.” said Nada while getting out of the car and waiting until Pandu's car disappeared from his sight.

Dewanto saw all that from inside his parked car a little far from the cost of Nada. It's still four in the afternoon why are they home? Dewanto decided to wait until Nada entered the boarding room. He would visit her as if he knew nothing. Cellphone ringing. A name flashed on his phone screen.

“Ya.” replied Dewanto immediately without waiting to ring too long.

“I have returned Tone safely. I've fulfilled our agreement. You also fulfilled your agreement. Can I ask you a favor?” said Pandu from across the phone. He stopped his journey for a moment.

“let's just say.”

“Please take good care of Tone. If you make him cry, then I will take it back.” Pandu said firmly. It's no longer a deal, but a threat. Although he actually knew that Dewanto could not make Nada cry. Although he is sure if Dewanto will certainly make Nada happy.

“That's for sure. Without you telling me, I will definitely take good care of him.”

Phone connection disconnected. The man was upset. Sure oes. Tone deserves to be happy. Even though his heart was once so hurt.