I'm Not a Man

Chapter 40

I kept my mouth shut when I listened to what Mom said. I wanted to scream, so that this burden would come off. But unfortunately, I can't do that.

I wanted to get close to my mom and ask her why she did this to me. Whose son am I really? Who's my mom and my man? And there's so much more I want to say to my mom. As a form of venting disappointment and heartache that I have.

However, just now I wanted to step towards where the mama and the man were sitting, my hand held back by the grasp of someone's hand.

"Wait on! Don't do it" Mulya said, whispering in my ear.

"Why? Why can't I do what I want?"

"Now is not the right time for you to do that. We wait for the right moment, then you can do what you want. Come with me!"

Mulya pulled me out of the cafe. I'm just following what Mulya did. Right now, there's not much I can do. Except, crying and trying to accept the harsh reality that I just got.

Me and Mulya both did not say a word, while we were in the car. Until we arrived at a lake complete with a high bridge.

"Come, we've arrived" Mulya said as she opened my car door.

"Why are we here?"

"Already, don't ask a lot and don't talk much. You'll know what I mean after you get off."

I did what Mulya said, for the umpteenth time, I just kept following what Mulya said.

"Oh yes, this," said Mulya while giving me a handkerchief.

"Remove your tears, for you are so ugly when you cry" Mulya said again, helping me wipe away the tears.

Mulya and I walked towards the bridge on the side of the lake.

"You can let go of all the burdens that are in your heart right now."

"How?"

"Scream with all your might, then, the burden you are feeling will be gone."

I felt, what Mulya said was a ridiculous deed. But unfortunately, this heart wanted to do what Mulya said.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaggh."

"How's it?"

I was silent, what I wanted to say. But I felt, what Mulya said was true. I felt a little calm, even though it was just a little bit of relief that I got.

"Is it a little bit of relief?" mulya asked me.

"Well, I feel a little relieved. Your advice, it works too."

"Hmz, it certainly works. You know, ever since I was a kid, I've always come here. If I have a problem that I think is severe, then I will let go of my problem in this lake," Mulya said with a smile to me.

"Well, although, it won't eliminate the problems I'm facing, but at least, I can feel the burden of the problem being a little less," Mulya said again.

"Mul, is this all you're planning?" I asked while looking straight ahead.

Mulya was silent, she only saw the calm lake water, which was in front of us.

"Don't tell me this has nothing to do with you, Mulya."

"Hmz, you're right. These are all my plans. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. But a truth, it must be revealed."

"I have to thank you very much, Mul. If it wasn't for you, then I wouldn't know, what's the reason mama made me a chess kid that she's ready to move anywhere."

"No need to hesitate, Alina. Whatever I'll do for you."

"You mean?"

"Alina, to be honest, I'm in love with you. I don't want to keep this feeling anymore. Whatever, you accept it or not."

Mulya held my hands gently. His eyes were so clear that he looked towards me.

"What are you saying, Mulya? Don't you have a boyfriend now?"

This heart beats so fast, when Mulya says she's in love with me.

"Alina, you know why I'm dating Mika. I never had the slightest love for Mika. I have Mika just to make Ryan hurt. No more than that."