I'm Afraid of Falling in Love
Suppose that..
It turns out that even though the pain has passed it still exists.
- Blue-Eye
Pasar Baru, January 2020 Bandung
After returning from the cliffs of the palace I deliberately stopped by first to the new market to buy some souvenirs. In addition to snacks, of course, many souvenirs typical of Sunda are sold here. One of them is Cirebon batik. As a fashion lover, I took the time to look around at the batik clothing store.
“Please neng batiknya that 50 thousand there, 100 thousand there are also 200 there. Just choose, the goods are good directly from the factory.”
“Come on select wholesale price item unit.”
“Come home price boutique model.”
“Environmentally friendly not wasteful in pouch.”
“Come on select please, father mother master all. There is a guarantee never to be disappointed.”
Guarantee for not heartbreak is not there, right?
I became giggled in my heart. Well the name is also the market must be crowded with sellers and buyers. Humpy here and there, bargain here and there. Noisy storm, never quiet.
I stared at a beautiful batik dongker suit. I approached the store to see and ask for the price. I haven't been able to get to the store yet, something caught my attention.
“Kak want to buy his sewing needles and sewing tools.”
The scissors and needles reminded me.
***
Course place, September 2018
It doesn't feel like I've been studying here for nearly two weeks. Now I'm starting to pick up the sewing machine. It feels nano nano, there are happy and also feel difficulties. The more the level rises, the more in demand seriousness.
“Teh this how?” I asked Sabila Tea who was trying to sew a collar.
“Before a while Mami is busy ni.” It seems like it is really busy Mami aka Teh Sabila.
“Iya deh mami.” Languid.
Somehow at first Sabila Tea called me by the name of ces stands for inces or Princes, actually I do not resemble-similar to Princes just according to him my behavior resembles Princes. That is, be gentle and always be careful of things. And I call her Mami, because I think she looks grown up and always advises me like a mother to her child.
From there we began to get along and advise each other. He was still confused by his girlfriend and I with my concern about the future priest. Even though Mami who is 25 years old is still relaxed, while I am still 18 years old.
Rather than thinking of a soul mate, I started learning to sew. I approached Princess Tea who was seriously sewing.
“Teh is done?”
“Not tea a little more.”
“Gemata can borrow the machine, I have not tried at all nih.”
“Oh yes a minute yes.”
In between waiting for it I used to pay attention to the Tea Princess who was sewing. It is fitting that Bu Nining always praised her, Teh Puteri is so good at running her sewing machine.
“Teh difficult huh?”
“It is this that its swerving part should really fit.”
“It's done, you want to try?.” I nodded with spirit.
Also, the result is Ancur. It turns out that what Mami said in the beginning was hard. The spirit of the Gem is nothing that is not easy in this world as long as we are willing to try. I continue to mutter so as not to be easily discouraged.
Even though the results were bad, I still had to deposit them to Ms. Nining. I deliberately advanced the last when I came home, embarrassed to see other people's work.
“Aduh This Gem whatan.”
“Hehe yes bu endings difficult anyway.”
“Becok reset again ya.” I nodded weakly and started walking out.
“Teh why not go home?” askaku on Early Teas that have hijab syar’i.
“Before this tea still want to continue to follow.”
“Loh can ya tea?” many wonder.
“Actually no."
“I want to follow tea.”
I immediately ran back to mom's desk.
“Mom can ya go home this sew again.”
“Iya may but later next to the one in turn.”
“OK bu.”
“The door is not the key mother.”
“Iya bu.”
I went back to the front to approach Dini Tea who was still chatting with Lina Maheswari Tea. It seems they were engaged in a very interesting conversation.
“Where's the tea mom said earlier?”
“Bby kok.”
“Teh I want to buy food first I want to come?”
“Gak ah sok aja tea.”
I served first with Lina Tea. Finished with my stomach business and Lina Tea returned to the course.
“Teh Lina want to follow extra time too?”
I asked when we were on our way to the course. In this course there are many traders, because it is close to the MAN school or the State Aliyah Madrasah. In fact, the actual course place is still in the school building. Many MAN children take courses after graduating from MAN. Not good training before actual work.
“Gak, want to pray here. Just wait for the Adzan, rather than in the mosque alone in the course kana da mates.”
Yes yes too.
“Ohh.”
“Teh Lina is now sewing too?”
“Still obras why it is.”
In my heart I thought why the answer to Lina Tea was like always ketus anyway. After all I just asked and it was in a good way not jerking, ah husnudzon alone might indeed be his character like that.
“Which part of Tea now?”
“Still pocket, satisfied!”
Loh kok he even so anyway, ninggalin I so too with an answer that is not wearing at all. I stared at the back of the distant Lina Tea. Just follow him immediately before the reverberation adhan, because if it is already adhan means my time to stay shortly before sip b enter the course.
“Have Tea eaten?”
“Already Tea.” I'm stroking my stomach.
“Teh Early want to snack too?”
“Ah is not. Teteh want to pray already this Adzan. You want to pray too?”
“Tea again hitch.”
“Yaudah if so I pray first yes.”
“Iya sok Mango tea.”
I started the engine I was going to use. Said Early Tea earlier, the machine at this end is comfortable to use. It could be not, but try first who knows exactly what the Early Tea said.
I can tame this machine a little. Although there are still many mistakes when sewing on the paper. I was so focused that I didn't realize that anyone was going inside. Especially here is only me, Lina Tea has gone home first after praying and Early Tea who just came home.
“Asslamualaikum.”
“Waalaikumsalam.” My answer is still focused on the sewing machine.
I don't even see who that person is, whether it's mom or not. But if the mother may not be the problem is memorized properly with her distinctive voice.
“Eh coking?” that voice finally diverted my world, uh.
My attention turned to look at the face I seemed to recognize. But who is it? I was confused thinking about it myself. I may have met but I forgot where I met. Or I'm the one who forgets it.
Better get my job done soon so that tomorrow I can change the material and I can do more of this sewing sewing business.
“Asslamualaikum.”
Suddenly there came two women who knew who I didn't know. I was embarrassed to see them and they were shocked to see me.
“Not yet to return Tea?”
“Hehe yes no.”
“What indigestion?”
“Still on paper.”
“Oh.”
“Eh this machine does not want to be used, right?”
“Not come yet who has it too.”
Ooo I replied in my heart.
“Tea sip a?”
“Iya Tea.”
Mumpung already there are people in sip b all I was wondering ah.
“You moved?”
I scratched my head covered in a veil, confused to explain how.
“That's no afternoon business so it can only be early in the morning.”
“Once Yes Tea.”
“We are here to blend, the person is also cool. If in sip a how Teh.”
“Yes is the same as hehe.”
“There is a great Princess yes.” I just nodded as I resumed my work.
Because of the shame that many have come, I finally cleaned up my stuff. There is still time to study tomorrow. It just so happened that my mother came.
“Mother Gem go home first yes.”
“It's done.”
“Not yet.”
“Mana here try to see.”
I hesitantly handed it over, even closing my eyes in fear of being ugly.
“Lumayan only still many that do not fit.”
“Hehehe yes hard bu.”
“Measurey learn.”
And here I was just hanging out. I became entrenched for a moment. Alright arguing with Bu Nining it's just a waste of energy, it'll never win.
“Tomorrow learn again yes.”
“Good bu.”
I salim first before going home.
“Assalamualaikum, first yes Tea.”
“Waalaikumsalam.”
***
**A's busy?
Why Agla?
I want to confide in this
Curse what
Notar yes I was tired first, the heat just came home.
Yes, the holidays are useful to be satisfied first break it later I call.
Good boss**
I closed my eyes for a moment. Remembering what happened today. How suddenly I remember Joy when she was alone like this. I don't know I feel like there's something she's been hiding lately. Just my feelings maybe.
Drrrr
**allo
It's collapsed
If not will lift the handsome Agla but a little
What**
**It's nothing
Ta you think it's wrong not if we stay away because of the gap
Yes legitimately if that is your right, if he bothers why not
Thanks for the fact that**
Huh huh? That's the basis of my inner man geje.
***
“Your eyes are still paper?” mami Aka Teh Sabila.
“Iya nih Teh, kok hard ya.”
I noticed that Diana Tea was giving results to Mother.
“Teh how to be fast anyway?” I was a little surprised because indeed our material was together in his love and now Diana Tea is finished first. I don't want to lose dong.
“Yaiyalah cepet people in boseh.” Sambar Andri I've only known for a few days. Boseh it in Indonesian can mean gowes. Like that bike.
“Hah means?” I was more confused by Andri's words.
“Stt.” Tea Diana whispered to me, then invited me to follow her.
He started running the engine and showed me how to clean it up. So that's how it was deserved to be fast. The only risk is a shell or a pegel.
“Teh used to be also in boseh also fit on paper?”
“A little anyway ces.” Mami's answer that inevitably seems like I should also try it. It's a little hard to sew, especially I still can't properly regulate the gas.
“Teh is okay in boseh?”I whispered a little when I asked that.
“Nothing origin not caught aja.”
I finally nodded.
***
“Bu today Gems can be extra time again yes.” My love to Miss Nining.
I haven't been good enough to have to do extra training.
“By any chance, here's the key you hold.”
I am glad to accept it. After Bu Nining rushed home I went back to my activities. Take back the stuff I put in the bag. Fighthing Jewels!
This time I was alone because Teh Dina who did not enter also Teh Lina who went straight to the mosque, waiting for his adhan in the mosque only he said. Alright I'm alone now. Although quiet but it feels very comfortable because learning in silence can focus.
I was totally focused on my work, nothing was hoarse, no noise nor were there any neighbor whispers that disturbed my concentration. It is very quiet and learning is comfortable.
“Asslamuailakum.”
“Eh dislodged, aww.” Shocked by the sound of my finger greeting so slightly scissored when unpacking the wrong stitches.
I was busy noticing who was coming. “Waalaikumsalam.”
“What's tea?”
“Nothing kok.”
I looked up to see who had come.
“You.” “You.” We said at the same time, now I remember who he is.
“Wah did not expect to see you again.”
Yaiyah is one of the courses, I said in my heart. I just smiled to answer. He was not long in front of me.
“Kok not home yet?”
Can't see what it is if it's still sewing. Not getting a response from me he finally looked at the results of my stitches that I had stored on the table next to his front.
“Lumayan, there are still many wrong this path.”
I roll my eyeballs lazy, yes I also know there are still many who turn and not straight. Uh the turn is straight.
“How long has it been sewing this.”
I became silent, how many days did I sew this. I shrugged my shoulders not knowing. Besides being lazy to answer, I am lazy to count and remember the day that has gone by. So baper is.
It seemed like his friends were already on the come because outside looked crowded people were chatting. He got up and said goodbye to his friends. I am grateful in my heart for nothing to bother this time.
“Alhamdulillah quite difficult if you want perfection it.”
“Asslamulaikum.”
“Waalaikumsalam.”
Finally my mother came too. I cleaned up my stuff first before handing over the results to Ms. Nining.
“Gem already. Where's the result?”
I thrust at him a piece of paper that I thought was the best of the worst. “This Bu.”
“There's still someone out of line. Yes it's okay to let mother only value.”
Yess cheered me inwardly, thank you so much mom nining.
“Then so Gem pampit yes bu Asslamulaikum.”
“Waalaikumsalam.”
***
Bandung, 2020
I feel like my tears are going to come right now. Remembering those times was a little missed with my friends, as well as the infinite claustrophobic. If I can repeat time, I want to repeat everything from the beginning. Corrected all the mistakes I made. Unfortunately, everything has become a memory, which inevitably will always be in my memory as sick as any memory.
