I'm Afraid of Falling in Love

Meaning of Friend 3

What is a good friend like? Bringing happiness or reminding us with a bit of nosy advice?

- Blue-Eye

Rather than stomach ache from laughing I resigned myself to return to the kitchen. I passed Mama Tea Rein who happened to have woken up, I smiled awkwardly at her. It was so shameful to be caught laughing.

Back in the kitchen, everyone was busy cooking and preparing everything. I approached Poppy Tea who was cutting cucumbers. “Teh need help?”

“Then you want to be done.”

“You help cut jengkol?” Tini Tea Vapor.

“Bby tea.” I approached Teh Tini, noticed her for a while and then executed.

“Why do they like to tease Mr Master anyway?” ask Tea Rein who I think is more to the grunt. Why did the new Tea Rein come Sudha said so.

“Mama to wake up because of loud laughter, if you wake up so will not be able to sleep again. Though mom later sip night.” No comment, I felt guilty for laughing.

Well Mama Teh Rein forgive us yes, I accidentally got out of control so. Somehow the feeling of pleasure was as if it evaporated just like that when he saw the sad look of Tea Rein. The feeling of guilt was even more when he saw Mama Teh Rein watching television in the middle room.

Fortunately, the food that is now being served makes me sad a little less. This time I laughed so well again. Everything I've been through all these years makes my pleasure go away, yawn somewhere. Either with the pain that is becoming, or the sense of getting used to it without pleasure itself.

“Mari eat.” Bring Tea Rein to us all. I was embarrassed to eat first when the stomach was rumbling from earlier, ask for the love ration.

“Kok quiet anyway, let dong read prayer first.” We bowed, whether or not they actually read the prayer. What is clear is that I prayed in the hope of wiping out my guilt for Mama Teh Rein.

“Teh want to use sambel?” ask Tea Rein. I shake my head, I like spicy but I don't like sambal. How could that be? The proof is that I can.

“You kale?” seeing the nod from me Tea Rein poked a few spoonfuls of kale on the banana leaf in front of me.

We, the Sundanese people are used to eating like this. We call it liliwetan, eat rice liwet with friends. There are kale, sambal, salted fish, tempeh, tofu, and now we add pete and jengkol which of course I do not eat.

The Tea Rein sitting on my right offered a jengkol, I shook my head. My left guide asked for the jengkol in Tea Rein's hand. Be the intermediary between the two of them.

“Pak Guru want more?” tanya Teh Tini, well start them again. This time I was silent.

“Pak tuh teacher in tawarin.” Pandu trying to ruin the atmosphere.

Master stared at Teh Tini, his mouth as if asking what Teh Tini. Seeing that, the kids started to grow back.

“What tea said.” This guide is like a spokesman for Mr. Teacher.

“Pak Guru want to add more,” chirps a Deni.

Master Teacher's mouth just kept closing as if he wanted to ask what they meant. I also think he actually is less negative or pretend. Or we who did close our eyes if he seemed to be consciously made fun of.

Then have pity on him, if indeed he negate all what his friends talk about is he not hurt? I saw the Master just smiling to see his friends laughing at him. What am I supposed to do?

Finish our meal alternately to wash our hands. “Mau?” Pandu gave me a packet of candy, I picked it up and didn't forget to thank him.

***

Everyone went home a few minutes ago. Stay now me, Poppy Tea and Rein Tea sitting in the living room. In front of us there was a cold drink that Mama Teh Rein bought, I was really not happy with Mama Teh Rein.

“Teh Rein sorry if we woke Mama Teh Rein.” My regrets.

Tea Rein smiled wryly, “it's okay Tea, it's really how they are. Just how the hell is laughing they're overrated. I don't really like hanging out with them, because Mr. Teacher is like a joke.”

“It's a bit messianic also we should be paddling it not do it.” Poppy Tea commented. I became intrigued, this time my attitude was wrong indeed.

“Very different with sip a.” I await the continuation of Teh Rein's speech. Why bring a sip?

“In a sip even though his children are younger and older, they are polite to each other. That's what makes me feel more at home in a sip actually.” Clear Tea Rein.

“More keep attitude yes tea.” This time I just kept quiet and didn't participate in their conversation.

“Bluffs may be, but don't miss. It is possible that Mr. Teacher is negating what they said, but he just kept quiet.”

“Benevine tea.”

I don't deny what they say it's true, but why do I mingle with sip b. I remember the Princess' treatment of me when I borrowed the machine. Maybe that's why I'm less able to familiarize myself in a sip.

Sip a is good, but I feel they are too ambitious. Unlike the sip b, everything just flows in terms of learning. I'm happy at sip b because in this sip I'm always helped when it's hard. In fact, they always put me first over them. I don't know both are good in my opinion, it's just that my feelings to sip b are more inclined like it.

Tea Rein is now looking at me fixed, “teh if laughing it do not fade yes, let alone to shed tears. It can harden the heart.” The tone is usually, the intonation is too, but why does it seem to slap me yes.

“Anu it hehe kebawa atmosphere.”

“Tau how they are, but don't let ya we follow that. As I was joking, but don't overdo it. In the sip a is also often joking, but not up to a scene like in sip b.”

But, sip a it's a bummer sometimes if I ask for help. Sometimes if the machine pinjem also feels that the machine belongs to him, hush already do not have to be too deep to hate.

“Ngerti kok tea.”

“Hur dzuhur pray yuk,” invite Poppy Tea.

Today my feelings were mixed between happy and also a little sad.

What Tea Rein said is true. Even before Teh Rein said I knew it from High School.

In essence, we do not laugh much, instead we have to cry a lot so that our hearts are always soft. Crying here is not crying suddenly without cause, but weeping for our sins that are always stacked every day, asagfirullah I have many sins.

This Rein tea is gentle, but it always wants the people around it to be kind, so I remember when Mami first put on the veil to the course.

***

“Subhanallah beautiful tea once.” Praise Tea Rein to Mami who today has no angina what wearing the Muslim woman's head covering.

“Hehe Yes Rein, just pray yes hopefully stay this way.”

“Aamiin tea, may Istiqamah yes.”

“Aamiin tea.”

I smiled, I was very happy when a friend was heading to the process of kindness, like this Mami. I always feel lucky when there are good friends, as if I could take them to goodness too. Yeah, although I know, it's not that good.

***

I so remember that, the week of death also if not wrong Tea Rein invites children to take archery courses at the school where our course. I happen to have an event so I can't go. Actually, this Rein Tea is good to think about. But..

***

“Wah a lot of messages that enter the up to a thousand gitu.” Said Tea Rein when she saw the incoming chat on my phone.

I was at first confused by what Tea Rein said. He then showed his phone that there were only a few incoming messages. I scratched my non-errorous hood at all, “ini mostly olshop and tea group.” I don't know why I suddenly said that.

“Often not read.” The fact is, if it wasn't an important group I wouldn't have read.

“Then it meets memory only.” Eh?

I'm surprised, too, but I need that olshop group to sell later if so. Ah, do not be a mind.

“Permata emang yang yak wear jeans?” tanyanya.

I watched my appearance from top to bottom. There was nothing wrong, my clothes were covered though it didn't look like she was wearing a skirt. In the past, when I was in high school I loved to wear skirts, since college I was back in jeans.

The reason is because you have to go up and down the vehicle, so look for clothes that are simple and comfortable to wear anywhere. Do you wear a ribet skirt? Not only do I like the sandung and my legs must be on the tip of the skirt.

“Why tea?” I asked him back.

“Gak tightness tea.”

“Not also anyway.”

“Ya hijrah does need a change.” Right, continue why he seems to be questioning my clothes.

“Teh Rein has long hijrah?” I asked in the end when he chose to sit in front of me.

“Gak too, about the beginning of 2018.” It's still a long time ago but I'm still here and there hasn't been any significant change.

I remember the first time I intended to wear a veil at home, Mama was against my decision. My determination was round and my head was hard, Mama began to melt. Even when I came out and forgot to wear the veil Mama remembered me.

I smiled remembering those times, the hard times and the sultry wearing of a veil for the first time. The decision I made myself, was so strong that Mama let it go.

It's just that since college Mama told me to wear jeans only, initially reluctant. After being a little difficult while riding the train, I followed the advice of Mama. The persistence until now.

“At first how was tea?”

“Yes is so difficult, about here and there actually, but because it is determined to be like this.” Clear Tea Rein.

“There is a study later want to come?”

“Where?”

“At mosque near factory.”

I thought for a moment the location was close to my house, did I just go there.

“What time is tea?”

“About the delapanan hour, sunday.”

“I didn't promise ya tea.”

“Come dong, the theme is exciting about being a muslimah and a wife of Solehah.” Ughh is tempting, but Sunday is a time for yourself.

“Fear of no friends ah.”

“Can I come.”

What was the most appropriate reason to refuse, he smiled at me who was thinking out loud. Maybe he knew I was reluctant to come. I don't know since I didn't take part in the study I'm embarrassed if I want to take part in such a study.

“See later only yes tea.” Break me up and go back to sewing tools and sets.

“Awaited his arrival.” I tried to nod even though it was heavy. I don't like to promise if I can't keep it.

***

“Gemata.” I'm sober.

“Iya why tea?”

“You go home now.” Bring Poppy Tea.

I saw the clock on the phone, it's been almost two and a half. I'm afraid I'm missing the train like yesterday. “Come tea.”

“Teh Rein we both said yes, thanks a lot for the banquet.” Poppy Tea Vapor.

“This fact loh thank you very much and sorry ngerepotin.” Add me.

“Ah is also guest.”

Tea Rein drove us all the way to the front, I waved my hand. “Gemata down where?” ask Teh Poppy when she drove away from the grounds of the Tea Rein house.

“At the crossroad last tea?”

“Is it really okay?”

“No, should Gem say thanks because you want to be tebengin hehe.”

“Ah is okay in this direction kok.”

“Eh tournya in front of the course place only yes.”

“Kok?”

“It looks like you want to join a sip again, but still a lot behind because of it. Home you can take the course.”

“Oh yes, deket there kok thanks ya tea.”

And I was right down in front of the course, after saying thank you I resigned myself. This time I chose to walk, I don't know like there's an inner upheaval in myself.

I stared at the vehicle passing through me. The dust and heat of the sun mixed into one, it seems like coming home from here should take a shower first. I remembered the conversation at the Tea Rein house earlier.

I wonder why I can laugh to tears so well, am I that happy? or something else made me behave like that. Whatever it is that is clear, I feel like I am back to myself who always smiled freely like in High School.

So alone was I until the feeling it just came now and it was because of friends in sip b. My college buddy? I can't be myself when I'm dealing with college friends.

“Gemata don't just shut up dong here join?”

“Eh yes hehe.”

“Permata talking dong don't keep quiet, later secretly fart lo.”

“Hahaha, you are talking anywhere.”

Am I quiet, right? I don't feel that I am quiet. In fact, on the contrary if sudha bekrumpul with my 4-person high school friend I was always ignorant, cursing and others. What exactly do friends mean to me, if near them my nature is 180 degrees different? Who is the friend I trust the most?