Heart Treatise

Episode 71

Soraya pulled herself from Rudi's embrace. His eyes blinked a few times. She looked at the face of the man in front of her, her husband. He tried hard to get rid of those bad thoughts, there was no man in front of him, nothing.

Finding Soraya who constantly shook her head and never let out a sound, Rudi now cupped Soraya's face. The empty and frightened look he found there.

"What are you afraid of, I'm here" said Rudi reassuringly.

"Do you—what you do not feel disgusted at me," Soraya said with a trembling tone, the sense of trust vanished when the touch that felt foreign was again happening.

Rudi looked at Soraya's face closely. "What do you really think?"

"I just want you to love me and accept me. Seeing me as I have been your wife and again the only woman who fills your heart. But— but that was before, until I tried to want you to really see me and appreciate me as a woman who should accompany you, but instead of —." Soraya's voice choked, sobbing with tears that poured out. For a moment he took a strong breath to fill the cavity of his lungs and again said, "It is precisely the path that I took wrong, until now I no longer have the courage to dream — let alone to stand together, until now I have no courage anymore to dream <TAG1>, stand beside you" said Soraya.

Rudi stretched out his hand to move around grasping and squeezing Soraya's fingers, filling the void space there. As Soraya greeted him, the two of them tightened up on each other. Making Soraya's heart warm now.

"I have a dream, drawing a future but it can only be painted in my mind. I will hang on to my hopes and also give up all my life for my loved ones, living together in a family bond. I also crave wanting to be a happy woman, but it's all —," Soraya's remarks came to a halt.

Rudi again tightened the squeeze of his hand.

Soraya shook her head, tears blurring her eyes. "I was hoping, wasn't I?"

Rudi nodded, making Soraya pull her fingers and wipe her tears. "Especially it's not appropriate that I have more hope for you," he said, turning away unwilling to look at Rudi.

"Why?" asked Rudi whose eyes could not be separated looking at the face of Soraya who was now only silent occasionally heard a small stuffing that still remained.

Soraya smiled wryly, it seemed like Rudi was unceasingly playing on her feelings. He had so blatantly revealed the contents of his heart, but the man sitting next to him now just does not stop messing with the contents of the heart, the mind is also all in Soraya.

Repeatedly he asked, and also denied that he could not listen wrongly?

"Then how are you feeling, to me?" asked Soraya who was a little hesitant, turned her head and looked at Rudi's face still with a sad look.

Rudi took a deep breath, his hand switched again taking both of Soraya's hands. This time he directed both of Soraya's palms right to touch his chest.

With a breath that seemed stuck, Rudi asked, "What are you feeling now?"

Soraya was silent, the two of them were now even silent to each other. Even until the sound of clockwork seconds on the wall began to sound. Soraya's mouth was half-open, with the palm still treading there, feeling a thumping heartbeat, even the same as he was feeling.

"Are you men—cin—tai—ku?" said Soraya.

"You think?" rudi said as if giving Soraya a question, it really made Soraya annoyed until she again throttled her lips about to cry again.

"Company me to spend the rest of my life" said Rudi as he spread out his hands.

A little surprised, Soraya also now squandered her husband's hug.

To be Continue

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