A DIVIDED HEART

Episode 94's. I love you

"Why are we here, Will?" I was shocked when William brought me home

"There's something I want to talk to your father, Nes" he explained then took me down and immediately entered

The door opened and Father was there, the man I had always longed for, the man who was always in every trouble even though he himself was full of thought

"Dad!" I hugged him tightly, channeling the longing that I had been feeling, he returned my embrace

"Finally you guys arrived" he said as he let go of the hug, I don't know what the words mean but I certainly know he actually misses me too

William also regretted it and kissed the back of his hand and then we immediately entered the house

Dad took us both directly to the dining room, there were already various types of dishes that Dad had prepared, I was more confused by what I saw, what was really there

We sat down and immediately enjoyed the dinner available, there was a longing for us to enjoy a moment like this. In the past, when I was still with Dad and Mama, we often did this even almost every night Mama cooked our favorite food and dinner together like today

This time I sat next to Dad, I got him food and served him like we were together

But now everything has changed. We have to live our lives on our own, and Mama, she may now be happy with her new family

"Nes, there's something you want to talk about" Dad opened his voice in the middle of tonight's activity. I looked at him and then nodded my head

"Stop looking for work and come home, you're lonely!" continued then

"But, Dad"

"Darling, Dad is old and Dad doesn't want to enjoy this old age in solitude" Dad held my hand tightly, his eyes shining sincerity at the words he said

There is guilt in my mind, I who may be selfish and hypocritical prefer my ego and do not care about the people around me. But how else, I didn't leave because I wanted to. I left because I couldn't escape the past and the problems that still loomed over me almost every time I opened my eyes

"Dad has decided not to go back abroad again, Dad will only take care of the company of Dad who is here, help Dad take care of it and study there"

I still can't comment, I don't know if I should answer yes or no. The desire to enjoy youth like others, enjoy the fatigue of work and also the results, but on the other hand I also have to pay attention to the father who now only lives alone and lonely

"Dad knows, it's not easy for you to get through this. But the problem will never be solved if you do not dare to face it, and again, the past that may now loom over you you must also dare to fight it, he said, regret is no longer useful but improving yourself for the sake of the provision of life in the future is more important. You are still young but shouldn't the future be prepared from now on?" say Dad at length

My thoughts started to battle with my heart, in my mind I still wanted to pursue what I wanted but in my heart was the urge to stop and then give up

"Om, there are things William wants to talk about" William said when he realized my conversation with Dad was over

"Tell me, son"

"William wanted to ask for Om's blessing, William wanted to marry Agnes and start again all that had stopped" William said plainly without further ado

I don't think, what else is this. I who still cannot make peace with the circumstances must return to accommodate the story that once existed, he said, I know it is true that Father said that the matter will not be solved if we continue to avoid it and the past will never change unless we are able to make peace with it

Dad smiled and then looked at me who was now down, as if my head was about to explode with what had happened lately

"Restu Om is always with you, Will. But the decision remains in the hands of Agnes, ask her whatever the result will remain breastfed and sincerely accept it" the father's advice to William

"Yes, Om. Thank you"

"Talk this well and with a cold heart and head" Dad stood up and walked out of the dining room, leaving William and I still silent and awkward

"Nes" William moved up and sat down beside me

"We're just talking somewhere else Will" William nodded and then followed me to a place

Back garden, rose garden that still looks beautiful and well maintained. From that day on, the day that tragedy unfolded, I had never visited her and had Sister Sumi take care of her but I had no idea what God would actually show me, Sumi's mother also left and the park was abandoned

However, everything is not as it should be. This park looks more beautiful than before although now the size of this park is smaller than before and the rest now even contains a circular table that is also equipped with several wooden chairs in white paint and again, the lighting in this park is now brighter than ever

I sighed for a moment, neutralizing the mind and also the heart that started to rage because all of that now came back and filled my brain

Full of confidence I stepped up, dismissing all the past that I could never fix, I took William to sit there, you sat facing each other with the atmosphere of awkwardness still approaching

William was still observing around, as if what I was thinking was coming along he thought as well. Perhaps his heart also ached when he recalled what had happened but he was a William who was able to manipulate feelings and survive in sadness

"Nes" William grabbed my hand, I saw his face developing the same smile, a smile that from the first time I knew him had never changed in the slightest as his heart

"I love you, it might sound boring because I keep saying it over and over again. But one thing you should always remember, Nes, I never said this to another woman. I've loved you since the first time I've known you to this day" I'm still silent

"I can't be as romantic as the others, I'm just a cold William and a workaholic but if you still want to go back and intertwine our story"