The Most Beautiful Miss

Self Escapement

I tried to run as far away as possible. I try to avoid the trouble that just stopped my smile and happiness. I felt that the world was beginning to reject my cherries, my smiles, my happiness, and it seemed that fate was beginning to want to play again on me. With a different case. I was stuck with the decision I made. The decision to propose to her, and the dream of marrying her, was a boomerang that hurt my soul.

"I'm here to get hurt... I'm not doing well here." My mind is crying.

I was alone in this city, I was confused yesterday where to go. Finally at the airport came the idea to go to this island. The island I've only heard from on television and Instagram. I feel alien here without anyone I know. I chose to stay in the hotel, with a beautiful view. The sea! Well, here I can enjoy the sea as a reminder that I have been disappointed and heartbroken witnessed by the sea as well. I hope by staring at the expanse of the blue and beautiful sea this can be a medicine. But it turns out I was wrong, precisely this sea makes memory continue to sing songs about the heart and love that is now broken-headed. And pain....

I grabbed my phone from the table. Look at the still dark screen. I just realized that I had run away from the island for two days and disappeared from them all. The communication that I intentionally broke, hoping that this heart could improve. But reality says otherwise, this heart is getting more broken and I feel like I'm missing a lot of things from myself.

I decided to turn on the phone. Hundreds of whatsapp messages coming in bertubi. I tried to open a message from Niko.

* Bro, where are you? I hope you're all right.. Remember, don't be weird - weird.

* Bro, why are you still not active HP?

*sister bro... Please tell me..

*Sir bro.. Qeisha asked to leave the island. He seems devastated by the same departure you suddenly - arrived.

* Sorry today I made Qeisha cry.. I just want him to know that what he's doing is pretty weird. And the reason is too absurd.

* I took Qeisha to the airport this morning. He has returned to Malaysia. You where? Hurry home!!!

* Tonight I returned to Jakarta, because the office people have been on a scene about our IMB letter case. Come home and solve the office.

* Sir bro. pliss don't worry me. I'm worried about you too. Please don't disappoint us. Think clearly and don't hurt yourself. Okay?!

I was silent for a long time staring at the message from Niko. Without me noticing the android in my hand was ringing. My heart stopped staring at the name that appeared. "Qeishaku"

I took the phone out of my hand. I went out to the balcony. Inhaling the air and letting the scent of the sea get into my nasal cavity.

"When will you run away from trouble? When to avoid? This heartache won't heal by hiding in this hotel room." My logic and my heart start a war.

"The company needs you.. Niko needs you.. My mother is also worried about you, go home." My logic begins to persuade.

"Oh no! Nay! Stay here.. They won't understand how you feel. This disappointment and love torments you.. Here, bemoaned myself.." My mind replied.

"No.. No. gabe.. Your years of struggle are worth more than this disappointment! get up and hurry home! Work and mini-family you have waiting at home." logic back incites.

"Don't... Look at you rejected by Qeisha.. How painful is your heart.. How disappointed your heart is.. Cry.." My mind is still trying to poison.

"Get out of this room!! Hurry along!!! Don't let the most persecuted mind continue to poison your mind, you are normal and you have the right to rise! Come on!!!!!" logic keeps trying to convince me. I tried to turn my body towards the room.

"Don't.. Please just.. Don'tdon't... Treat your heart here.. Qeisha will continue to hurt you.. Niko must have laughed at your carelessness for proposing to Qeisha.." My mind tried to stop my footsteps.

"Adhitama Shahputra!!! Remember, a problem heavier than this alone you can get through.. Losing both your parents, losing your brother, and you made it through.. Now your brother's company is waiting for us to reach the peak of glory... Don't just because of a woman named Qeisha you let your parents down in heaven! Come get a suitcase and head to the airport now.Go back to Jakarta and finish your responsibilities.." My logic starts to fire.

Tears shed instantly. I sat on the balcony floor. I cried and mourned myself. Hitting firmly on my chest, I kept calling out the name Qeisha.

"Why Qei... Why in a matter of seconds did you destroy my dream?"

"Qeisha... Answer me why?! Why Qeisha.?!? Explain me.. Why Qeisha.." I sobbed and wrapped my hands on my knees.

"You gave me spirit.. You made me rise, but why are you now the reason my heart is disappointed..."

"Lord.. Why is this sick... Why be this disappointed..."

Long I enjoyed this chest-stifling sobbing. I let the tears continue to wet my cheeks.

"Happy? Get up and leave this room.. Leave that disappointment in this room." My logic came back to surprise the crying heart.

I raised my head as if I heard that voice for real. I got up and walked towards the hotel closet. I put all the clothes in the suitcase. I went to the bathroom, cleaned myself up. I change my clothes, get my hair done, put on a suit, put on my shoes. I grabbed my phone from the bed and dragged my suitcase out of the room, down to the lobby and checked out

"I have to go back to Jakarta.. My future is long.. God willing." I whispered in my heart.

I booked a taxi online to Hang Nadim Airport, Batam.

Arriving at the airport I immediately showed the online ticket from the email I had ordered while on the car to the airport.

I took a deep breath trying to smile.

"Inkou.. Please make peace with the situation.. I will not make the struggle of those who love me this whole time so futile.."

I took the phone out of my suit pocket. Trying to contact Niko with passionate enthusiasm.

"Haloo.. Thank God you finally called me." said Niko from across the phone.

"Alhamdulillah.. Ready sir boss.." sounded Niko replied with enthusiasm.

"Don't be late. lest I fly again.."

"Hahaha not the boss... Yoru." Niko.

"Battle.. I'm turning it off.."

"Okay boss.."

I smiled, hung up the phone and walked to the waiting room.

I read all the messages from Qeisha. I held my heart not to reply to any of those messages. I chose to read and delete all the messages from Qeisha.

"I'm sorry I blocked your number Qei.." I whispered as I chose to close communication access with Qeisha.

"I want to reconcile my mind and my logic... Give me some space." I'm in my heart.

I put a headset in my ear and listened to music while I waited for my departure.

*** *Satisfied I'm crying again..

You're bringing a dark cloud..

But I'll still be able to survive..

The love you gave..

I keep it in a beautiful memory..

But it's all over..

I fell down and roared..

And nobody can feel..

Oh this heartache..

If you can't give me a smile..

Try to present it with grief..

Let my life be my way..

ref: The love you have given..

I keep it in a beautiful memory..

But it's all over..

I fell down and roared..

And no one can feel oh the pain.... This heart.....

If you can't give me a smile..

Try to present it with grief..

Let me live my way..

Huu...

Faithful to face the coming..

Won't retreat for a moment..

I keep going looking for new light..

(Thousand - Khai Bahar)

****