The Most Beautiful Miss

Maybe Another Time

Dusk which should be beautiful accompanied by waves with a distinctive sea aroma. Everything that happened this evening was far from my expectations. It turns out that true, sometimes reality often plays with the heart of a man who is in a drunken romance. Beautiful hallucinations but reality are far from beautiful.

"You don't pray maghrib first?" he came up to me and smiled.

"You go first... You know the room, right?" I try not to look at him.

"OK.." he just passed by.

I peeked at him from the corner of my eye.

"Women are sometimes hard to understand." I whispered.

I walked lethargic towards the homestay while looking for answers to the questions that danced in my mind.

"He why?"

"He's not as usual.."

"What am I wrong?"

"Why all of a sudden?"

"Did he not like this island?"

****

After I finished performing Isya's prayer, I invited Niko and Yudi to dinner. I had time to order dinner menu with our tourguide.

"Don't call me Qeisha?" niko asked as we passed through Qei's room.

"Later I was.." I continued walking towards the gazebo that had been prepared.

"Oh okay..."

Arriving at the gazebo, I took the android out of my pants pocket.

you still resting, baby?

* Why?

I'm with Niko waiting in the gazebo, let's have dinner...

* Oh okay, just a moment.. If you're hungry, you go first..

-- I'm waiting for you...

* Don't do that.. Poor Yudi and Niko are starving..

-- Why are you, baby? I was wrong?

* Why what? I'm doing fine.

I'm sorry if I'm wrong...

* Nothing...

-- Okay, I'm waiting for you.

Fifteen minutes passed. But Qeisha didn't come out. I decided to go to his room.

"Qei.." call me while knocking on the door.

"Yes." she opened the door and smiled.

"Why not reply to chat?"

"I'm waiting for you to come here." she smiled again.

"Why not ask for a pick-up..."

"They can little times..."

"OK sorry... I thought you were mad about that." I pulled my own.

"Haha.. I intentionally make you curious.. Kirain, you'll be sensitive to what I expect..."

"What do you expect?"

"I want a romantic sunset.."

"So less romantic?"

"Lack...."

"Less what?"

"You're less sensitive..."

"meaning?"

"Udah.. I hungry.. Come eat.." He pulled my hand.

I followed his steps quickly. He makes me wonder.

"Aren't I romantic?" my inner.

***

After finishing all the delicious seafood dishes, I whispered something to Niko and Yudi. They nod their heads to understand what I whisper.

Crick..Crick..

I opened whatsapp messages on my phone.

* Beres!!!

I smiled reading it. Then take Qeisha with me.

"Follow me, dear.." I asked softly.

"Where?"

"Follow it.." I pulled her hand gently.

"Why don't we go to the dock?" he asked as I guided his hand towards the bridge entering the mini-dock.

I smile.

"Go to this ship, baby..."

"We're back on land tonight?"

"Just go first..."

Qeisha followed my words. He got into the ship with a curious face.

And.....

"Surprised.." I shouted.

Niko and I have been planning this a long time. With the help of the island and this tour agency, I prepared a little surprise for Qeisha.

There was a candle that filled the entire corner of the ship. Filled with roses scattered everywhere, there was a small table near the window of the ship. There were some parcels that I deliberately kept in a suitcase, there was an infusion bottle, there was a syringe, there was a P3K box, there was a Qur'an, there was a, there's a prayer mat that Qeisha used to give me, all I pack in the form of a parcel.

Qeisha was speechless and seemed amazed by the expressions on his face and eyes. He walked over to the parcel and some parcels. Qeisha covered her mouth with both hands.

"This is your idea?" he looked at me with a smile

"Yes." I approached him.

"For me?" he looked at all the parcels on the table.

"Just for you, Love!" I look at him full of love.

Qeisha grabbed the parcel and shook her head. Then raised his eyebrows, as if he wanted to know the meaning of the contents of this parcel.

"I'm sorry if it's less romantic..."

"Very romantic.." Her cheeks flushed.

"It all starts with the things that are there, baby... I know you because of the infusion bottle, the syringe, the medicine box. God has brought us together in ways we never thought possible... The Qur'an and the prayer, that is the beginning of this love. I feel confident about this feeling. You don't just treat my bleeding wounds, not even the bloodless wounds you heal. You give my dead heart back to my own creator, you remind me of all my negligence, you realize I'm caught up in the invocation, you realize all my foolish actions are things I have to stop...."

I grabbed Qeisha's hand, kissed her fingers.

"I need you Qei.... It takes you to always be with me..."

"Will you marry me....?" I took the ring out of my pocket.

The look on Qeisha's face changed drastically and this was beyond plan. He pulled his hand from me. He took two steps back from me. And scrunched his forehead.

"Why sweetheart..?" soft ask.

"What do you mean?" he's back off again.

"I want to justify you.. Made you my wife... Chaperoned my life..."

"Yes why?" Qeisha raised her voice.

"What's the reason? I want a serious relationship, baby... Why do we delay if marriage is a long worship for us.."

He shook his head.

"Darling.." I tried to get close to him.

"Adhit.." she shed a tear.

"Why are you crying? We can date longer after marriage.."

He shook his head again.

"You don't love me? You don't want to marry me?" my chest is starting to cramp.

"I love you... I love you." she replied firmly.

"Continue?"

My heart was broken instantly.

"Why??." I held her shoulder, but she brushed my hand away.

"Marriage is not a rash decision..."

"Don't I ask you to get married tonight?"

"But I can't..."

"Why dear. I'm not asking us for a marriage contract this second.. I also know we need a lot of preparation... I will also meet your family, I will ask you to them... Tonight I just want to make sure you want to marry me..."

"I can't..."

"You're as long as you pretend to love me?" my mind is starting to get messed up.

"Did you see that there was a pretence in my eyes when I said love to you?"

"So why.." I kept pushing.

"Adhit. don't push me... I can't.."

"You love someone else?"

"If I could love someone else, I wouldn't have received your rude and cruel treatment all this time..."

"Don't make my mind go after Qeisha... Please.." I whimpered.

"Adhii... I love you but I never imagined we'd get married.."

"So? you chose us like this? Without bonding?"

"Don't force me... I let this love in my heart, with no hope of being your wife.."

I was silent and unable to look at him. I don't know what he's thinking. I don't know what he really wants.

"I'm sorry, Dhit... I can't accept your proposal.. If this rejection makes you hate me, I accept. But one thing you should know...."

He held my hand tightly.

"I love you, I admire you.. But I never harbored any hope of marrying you... I'm sorry Dhit... I want to feel the marriage like a woman in general... I dream of a marriage that begins with a relationship between families.. Asking for a male family, I want that if I get married, I will not just unite two hearts, two people, but I want to unite two families. Excuse me... I'm sorry Dhit... I'm a regular human being, Dhit.. I want to feel what other women feel..."

I looked at him desperately.

"Because I'm a kara? Because I'm an orphan?" I finally shed tears.

"I'm sorry, Dhit.." she tried to hug me. I walked away from Qeisha and left the ship that Niko and Yudi had decorated with gusto.

I'm losing my way. It was as if I was losing my purpose. I lost my spirit. I'm broken, my heart is headed. I never imagined it would be this broken. I never thought my love would run out this way.

Niko.

"Udah done..?" he patted my shoulder.

My mind is empty and I don't know what to answer. But it seems that Niko can read my body language and facial expressions. Niko ran towards the ship where I left Qeisha.

I kept walking aimlessly and didn't know when to stop. The sound of the wind and the sound of the waves could not distract my mind.

"What's wrong I love her.." I asked my own heart.

"I should have known myself from the beginning... Who's my.. I'm just a kid who killed his own parents... I'm an outcast nephew of my aunt and uncle.. I'm just a grandson who never expected his presence.. I'm just an orphan with no family... I have no one except Niko, Ibuk, and Qeisha..."

"Would I be able to look at Qeisha's face after tonight?"

"Lord.

***

On board...

"What is this Qei?" Niko slightly adjusted her breathing.

"I'm sorry Nik... I'm selfish..." Qeisha left Niko who was still curious.

"Qeisha!!!" Niko yelled at the woman her best friend loved. Qeisha stopped his steps.

"If you didn't love him from the beginning, why did you give him false hope?"

"I love him.. But I can't marry him... I have Nik's family... My extended family would also want a normal marriage.."

"A normal wedding? Meanin?" Niko looked at Qeisha sharp and full of question marks.

"I want to feel like a daughter-in-law.. I love him sincerely Niko.. But for marriage, I really can't..."

"Oh that's your excuse... My real parents also already consider Adhit as their child, you can get affection from in-laws right?"

"It's not the same with Nik... Please don't push me..." Qeisha leaves Niko.

"Wait Qeisha..." Niko walked over to Qeisha.

"If this is your decision, please go as far away from Adhit as possible... Don't torture him again with your meaningless words of love and love. Her life has suffered too much, so don't add to her suffering." Niko walked away from Qeisha and accidentally hit the body of a woman who had been considered a wingless angel by Adhitama Syahputra.

***

Niko ran towards me and she looked panicked.

"Dhit..." Niko put her arm around my shoulder.

"I'm fine with Koo... Please leave me alone..."

"There's no way I'll leave you.."

"I want to be alone.... Please..."

"But..."

"Please Ko... I want to be alone..."

Niko took a breath and walked away from me.

"Please promise me that you will remain well after this day." suddenly Qeisha stood behind me.

I deliberately didn't turn to the source of the voice because I wasn't that strong. I felt her body holding me from behind.

"I beg.. Do not doubt your Lord..."

"I beg you not to despair..."

"And I was so begging.. Don't hurt yourself in any way..."

He hugged me tighter.

"I'm not going to hurt myself.. Let this pain you give me kill me..."

"I'll keep all this love well... So that no one will hurt me worse than you..."

I tried to get up and walk away from Qeisha. I try not to look at his face one bit.

I stopped my steps. Without looking back at it one bit.

"Qey... Thank you for this intoxicating love... Thank you for the opportunity you gave me to feel this most beautiful miss... And I'm sorry that I can't be the most beautiful thing in your life..."

I continued to step up and wipe away the tears that had soaked my cheeks.

****

I chose to leave the island before Qeisha woke up.

"Co.. I got off this island first..."

"meaning?" Niko approached me.

"If Qeisha still wants to spend her time on this island, you accompany her. Let him enjoy the sea to the fullest, if he wants to return to Malaysia, book a ticket and take him to the airport, make sure he arrives safely..."

"I can't leave you alone.." Niko pulled my suitcase.

"Please give me some space this time... You and Yudi accompany her to make sure she gets to the airport..."

"But..."

"I promise, I'll get to Jakarta safely..."

"Where are you going?"

"I need space... I must have followed you to Jakarta..."

"alright.. But promise don't be reckless and don't be kind to yourself..."

I smile.

"I promise...."

I walked towards the dock with mixed feelings. I got on the boat and left the beautiful island.

"Heart... Make peace with me." I whispered.

As soon as I got ashore, I was waiting for the rental car I booked through the tour agency last night. I took my phone out of my pocket.

I sent a message to whatsapp Qeisha.

I have left the island. Keep enjoying the smell of the sea as if we had no problems before. Niko and Yudi will accompany you.

maybe some other time, we'll meet again. But suppose we don't know each other yet.

- I love you!!!!

I turned off my phone and put it in my suitcase.

"My earrings to the airport bang..."

I tried to close my eyes.

****