The Heart of Raisya

Not me

Right now I'm in my room, after eating I'm taking headache medicine. Madam Rindi approached me.

"Ep.. Rai! There's Ical in front."

"uhuk.. uhuk.." I choked on a drink.

"His sips, Rai!"

"I don't want to meet anyone, Ma'am."

"Huf.. I know you are devastated at the moment. But that problem must be solved, Rai! Not avoided. Ical had already come home directly to stop by here, because he really wanted to see you."

"I'm still dizzy, Ma'am."

"Yes, you rest first. If you're out, meet Ical! He won't come home before he meets you." he said." Rindi's mom came out of the room.

I sat on the bed, leaning my body on the head of the bed.

Yes, God.what a test is this. I can still get through it. I can no longer continue my relationship with Mas Ical. It was not only painful, but my wounds were gaping again.It has been almost three years that I have been disposing of this pain. But when I'm about to start again, why should it be like this. My mind is in my heart.

An hour passed, Madam Rindi entered the room again.

"Where's Rai, how's it going?"

I was still silent, and my gaze was straight forward as if unaware of the presence of Ms. Rindi.

"Rai, I'm daydreaming!"

"Ah, yes! What's up, Ma'am?"

"That, Ical is still waiting for you. How, Rai? He said he wanted to say something important. Tomorrow his parents will propose to you, he said."

deg!

My heart raced fast. Not the pleasure I feel but the dilemma. On the other hand of course I've started to have a taste for Mas Faisal. And I want to live happily with him. But on the other hand, I cannot accept the fact that I must have Ipar Septi and Mas Firman. I don't like to mess with the past. If Abi knew, of course he would not agree.

"OK, Mommy. I'm going ahead.Wait a minute, I'm gonna wash my face first."

I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I wear an eye pencil, so that my eyes are not too visible. I went out to the living room to meet Mas Faisal. When I found out I was out, Mas Faisal smiled.

Do I want to erase that smile?

"Rai, are you dizzy?"

"Em yes, Mas. But it's been snuffling."

"Rai, I'm sorry for Septi's attitude yesterday. I know he's surprised. But he shouldn't have spoken harshly to you. Last night, my family and I talked about the continuation of our relationship."

I only listened to Mas Faisal's words. He was very enthusiastic, and looked happy.

"You don't worry, Rai! I will continue with my good intentions. I've made up my mind, tomorrow we'll come see your parents. I'll propose to you, Rai. You're happy, right?" Again he smiled.

God, am I capable of breaking his hopes.

"Why do we still want to continue our relationship?"

"Rai, I told you before! I don't care about your past! I already love you. Not because of your face but your heart and personality that touched me."

"But my past is very close to you, Mom! True Septi said, what would people say if they knew that Mas Faisal's wife was the ex-wife of Ipar Mas himself!" My eyes started to glaze over.

Suddenly Mbak Rindi joined in our conversation "No Rai, you have not been touched by the Word! You're not his ex! She never even considered you a wife!" Rindi keceplosan. Mas Faisal was surprised to hear the words of Mbak Rindi.

"Mr Rindi!" I shook my head, coded for Mbak Rindi not to continue her words.

"Wild, Rai! I can't stand it anymore. It should have been yesterday Mbak said in front of the Word and Septi!"

"Please explain, Rin!" Pinta Mas Faisal's.

"Raisya is indeed his widow Firman. But the Word never touched him! The Word only changed Raisya's status! He's a cowardly man who doesn't know himself. Why should he marry Raisya if he loves Septi! If the reason is old man, why didn't he try to accept Raisya? What is the lack of Raisya? Septi was even present and crying on the day of their reception. Raisya was just wasted. He was devastated back then Cal! But because his faith was strong, he could still survive."

"Astaghfirullah...!" Mas Faisal covered his face with both palms. "I didn't expect this to be all because of my sister." Mas Faisal's eyes were red, and glazed.

"Sorry, I'm not going to blame anyone. This is qodarullah. It's a test of my life. I've learned to let go, even if it hurts." I opened my voice. "I'm sorry, I can't continue our relationship. It's not that I can't make peace with my past. But things will be different later. I don't want Mas Ical to be the moons of Mas people and families."

"No Rai! You're not as bad as they think you are! They don't know the real problem."

"Stay, in the eyes of men, I am a widow. And we can't keep their mouths shut, ma'am." I can't hold back my tears anymore. So did Mas Faisal, who was trying to hold back his emotions.

"I've forgiven him. May Septi open the door of his heart."

"Make out of what your heart is, Rai! Word, stupid man! He didn't see the angel in front of his eyes."

"We are no longer fools, God has arranged."

"I cannot show my face in front of you Rai! I'm ashamed of what my sister did."

"You're a good man, Mas. God has prepared the best soul mate for you, and it doesn't seem to be me. Rai apologized for disappointing Mas. Rai cannot continue our relationship. Look for a woman who's better than me."

"I'd love to force you to stay with me, Rai. But after hearing what Firman and Septi did, I could not bear to beg Rai. I don't want them to hurt you anymore."

"I will pray, may Mas get a good soul mate, who loves and appreciates Mas. Sorry if as long as we're close, Rai has made Mas Ical angry or hurt." White round clear mrnetes back. I have no power to hold it. Madam Rindi gave me a tishu for her.

"Thank you, Rai. I will also pray for you. I will keep hoping we are fooled. Please apologize to my parents and my family."

"Yes, mas. Say sorry to your family, too, Mas."

"Rai, I hope we can still be friends."

"God, Mommy."

Finally, Mas Faisal left the house of Mbak Rindi. I saw a disappointed and sad look in his eyes. After his departure I went back to the room. I heard a ringtone from my HP ringing.

Get all my fingers

Embrace me in your happiness

I want to be both forever

If I open these eyes

I want to always be you

In this weakness of the heart

With you. I'm firm.

When I saw it, it turned out to be a phone call from Sofi. But I didn't lift it. Because right now I still don't want to talk. I'm my silent HP. Tired of crying, plus stomach pain that still remains. I fell asleep again in that room.

At 15:30 I woke up. I remember that this afternoon I had to go home. I rushed to the bathroom, to wash my face. I didn't shower, because it still had a fever. Luckily the dizziness was gone. I'm getting ready to go home soon.

"Ra, are you sure you want to go home?"

"Yes, Mom! I don't want Ummi and Abi to worry."

"But you're healthy, right?"

"Fever a little, but no longer dizzy."

"I'll go home first! Thank you Ma'am, also convey to Mas Rendy when you come home later."

"Rai, we already consider you your own sister. No need to remember that!"

"Yes I know."

"Remember the motor carefully. Don't dream."

"Yes, Mother. Assalamu'alaikum!"

"Wa'alaikum salutations."

I went home with the white guy. Yesterday when I left for Mas Faisal's house I did ride the white to the house of Mbak Rindi, so that Mbak Rindi did not need to pick up. Because it will take a long time if you have to go back.

...****************...

Look forward to the continuation of brother.

Sorry if there is still typo brother.

Thank you, still loyal in my work which is still random adul this😁

See you again....